Darker Side of Me
by Angel's Fear
Summary: CompleteDraco is assigned a dark task and is told to accomplish it by any means necessary. But will his chosen plan really lead him to his goal? Or will it throw him into a mess of confusion and give him a change of heart? Slash HPDM, alternate 6th book.
1. Chapter 1

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 1

So many dark times had passed and so many dark times promised to lie ahead. The world had changed from a once welcoming and brilliant place into one of morbid thoughts and turbulent times. The worst part was that this shadow that loomed over the wizarding world would soon spread into the world of the unknowing muggles. The evil grew only more and more steadily and pledged to continue to do so until it consumed every living thing.

Draco had been forced to be a part of it. He had thought that it was what he wanted… what he had been meant to do. He had been trained for this kind of mission his entire life. He had adequately played the part and always catered to people's expectations. He never disappointed. Not until lately, when he started questioning the whole thing.

The blond boy stared down at his forearm. There, both clear as day and dark as night, imprinted eternally on his skin, was the black mark that would forever haunt his dreams. It was always there to remind him of what he had done, to whom he pledged allegiance, to show the world what kind of soul resided within his body. This was a mark to set him apart from the rest of the world…to show him for what he truly was: a Death-Eater.

He should have been proud. The title of 'Death-Eater' was not passed out lightly. It was a title that made him of increased status. He was above all others. He was free to do as he wished, not bound by the rules of the everyday wizard. He held his head high, for a moment, as he waited in the empty room. He sat on cold stone and was surrounded by taunting images of horrifying things. This was where he belonged. Wasn't it?

Lately, Draco had been reconsidering his decisions. He had been feeling grave doubt about who he was… what he was. He continued his insomniac habits as every time he laid his head to rest, he was tormented by images of the things he has witnessed… the things he would have to do some day soon. It made him sick and so instead he suppressed the images and taught himself to treat it all like a twisted fantasy instead of reality. It was easier to bear that way…

"He is ready for you, young Malfoy," a voice came to him from the doorway at the far end of the room. Draco nodded, got to his feet and walked determinedly over to the opening. His heart was racing and his head was trying to tell his legs to run in the opposite direction. His entire being wanted him to forget about this. It wanted him to run away and hide. It was not ready for him to face the kinds of tasks he had witnessed…. It was not ready for him to perform them on command. But Draco ignored his better judgment and moved forwards into the room where he would meet his fate.

"Draco," the silky voice of the tall cloaked man before him said. He knew who this was but did not dare look directly at him. "I have a very special task for you… should you accept." It was common knowledge that refusing would entail your death. The question was more a test of your loyalty than it was freedom to choose. Draco listened carefully to his master's demands and nodded carefully.

"I accept." His heart tremors increased and he felt as though he was going to die. Perhaps he would. At least that way he would be able to escape what was laid out for him to do.

It was early morning and everyone in the Gryffindor dormitory was sound asleep. All except for one student who lay awake, staring at the red velvet drapes around his bed, wishing that he could stop dreaming, stop imagining, stop thinking in general.

Harry sat up in his bed and grabbed his head. He slowly tugged at his messy black hair, shutting his eyes tight and hoping that when he opened them again, everything would have changed and he would be someone else, somewhere else, with not so gargantuan problems. He wished that everything that had happened as of late, had simply not. He wished that he could go back in time and make it so that Sirius had not died… he wished he could go all the way back to third year and somehow avoid the whole scene in front of the whomping willow and catch the escaping Scabbers so that none of this whole mess could have ever happened. He wanted to fix everything and just make life better. But shutting his eyes and pulling his hair at 4 A.M. would not make this happen and he knew it.

Wrenching open his drapery, Harry picked up his invisibility cloak, threw it over himself and walked out of the dormitory. He needed to get some air and clear his mind.

The black-haired Gryffindor walked out into the halls of Hogwarts heading for the doors to the grounds. He thought about everything that had happened and about what he was eventually going to have to do. He thought about the Order and he thought about Dumbledore and he thought about Sirius. Every time his mind came to rest on his godfather, his heart stopped and he felt overwhelming emotions spread throughout his body. He quickly shifted his thoughts to something else.

As he walked however, he noticed something strange. There was a faint but desperate cry coming from one of the hallways ahead. He hurried his steps until he sought out the source. When he did, he stopped dead and dumb, staring at what it was.

Draco Malfoy was standing in an empty, almost forgotten alcove, hitting himself in the head with his fists. He sunk to the ground and leaned his head against his knees. Harry froze, forgetting that he had his cloak for a moment. Once he remembered he had the impulse to laugh to himself, wanting to take joy in Draco's misery. But he couldn't.

Something of this situation struck a chord inside of Harry and he could only bring himself to feel pity for his blonde enemy. Draco seemed so vulnerable and broken, hitting himself the way he was. Harry quieted his own thoughts and breath to attempt to hear what the boy before him was muttering.

"What have I gotten myself into?" he was mumbling, the desperation growing in his voice. "I can't do this… He doesn't deserve that… no one deserves that. But there's no way out… I'm so dead…I'm so dead… I don't want to do this…" Draco then lifted his head and stared straight into Harry's eyes. The look was so penetrating, Harry feared that the Slytherin had somehow known that he was there, but then he continued to talk to himself in a manner that assured Harry Draco thought he was alone.

Harry stepped back, feeling as though one more second next to this broken and diminished Draco would bring him to do something he might regret. He rushed back to the dormitory before the sun rose, got back into bed and hoped that he could ignore what he had just witnessed.

Harry, of course, could not. And he dreamt of Draco for the next few nights…

"I'm off to practice for a while, I'll see you two later!" Harry called to Ron and Hermione. It was three weeks after that night in the castle and Harry's head was still full to the brim with horrible memories. He had considered investing in a pensieve, though he figured it was not a good idea to leave his thoughts lying around with so many after him. Instead, Harry preferred to distract himself by flying.

He made his way to the Quidditch pitch, already dressed and carrying spare clothes in a bag over his shoulder. He dropped his bag in the changing rooms and made his way out onto the pitch.

Once on his broom and soaring through the air, Harry felt all his worries and troubles melt away, as though he left them with his bag, back on the ground, back in reality. He was free now, soaring and flipping in the air. He pulled off some of his more risky tricks as he shed his inhibitions and liberated his mind.

He flew for over an hour before decided to call it quits and get back to his real life. He landed gently and got off his broom, hoping to go take a shower and then meet Ron and Hermione in the library to finish his schoolwork. He smiled, feeling much better as he walked towards the changing rooms.

"That was a very impressive display, Potter." A slow drawl broke the peace and came to Harry from near one of the stands. The Gryffindor turned to see the very object of his torment staring at him from not too far on the pitch. "Though I don't quite understand why you were trying so hard, no one was here to impress, except me anyway."

"No, you were right the first time. No one here to impress." Draco strode over to him, a sly smirk drawing itself on his pale features. Harry rolled his eyes and made his way towards the changing rooms.

"Ooh, feisty aren't we?" Draco cocked his eyebrows and smirked at Harry, following him towards the change rooms. Harry stopped and turned to the Slytherin, his good mood dissolving and seeking nothing but peace from the little ferret.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry demanded of him, grimacing at the boy. Draco smirked as he stopped next to Harry.

"You know what I think?" Draco asked silkily, leaning in close to Harry as if to confess a secret. "I think you _were_ showing off for me. Either that or you were hoping some of your fangirls might show up to take pictures."

"You are a bastard, you know that?" Harry spat, as he resumed his journey to take his shower. Draco stepped in front of him to stop him.

"My, aren't you sexy when you're angry," he stated rather bluntly. "I can see why you keep up this brooding look, it must work wonders to get you a good shag." Harry stood still a moment, shocked out of his mind until he shook it off, thinking that Draco was just trying to provoke him.

"Don't you have anything better to do than bother me?" Harry sneered. "Like suck off Snape or something. I mean that must be why you do so well in Potions. Gawd knows you're rubbish at manual labor." Draco shrugged it off.

"At least I can please," Draco mused. "Unlike you who seems to have a terrible track record with lovers. Or is it that you just haven't found the right kind of person to take control?" Harry ignored him and threw open the door to the locker room before turning to Draco with a smirk.

"No wait," he said through fake realization. "I know. It's not _you_ that does the pleasing." Harry grinned darkly. "I knew your father and Snape were far too close." Harry shook his head. "Must Daddy do everything for you?" Draco's smirk finally flickered before he pushed Harry backwards into the locker room and locked the door behind him. Harry's eyes darted to the door and back to Draco, who was pulling out his wand. Harry froze, trying to remember which pocket of his bag held his wand.

"You know nothing of my father, Potter." Draco stated, the silkiness gone from his tone. It was instead replaced with icy disdain. "I am perfectly capable of fighting my own battles and I can prove it to you." Draco pointed his wand at Harry's neck.

"You coward, you are going to attack me when I'm unarmed?" Harry spat, his muscles tense. Draco slipped his cloak off, without letting down his wand.

"Not the kind of battle I had in mind, Potter." The strange glint in Malfoy's eyes unnerved Harry as he stood very still, not knowing how to react. Malfoy pressed his wand to the hem of Harry's shirt and dragged it down until it ripped and fell to shreds on the floor, leaving the Gryffindor shirtless and sweaty before him.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Harry yelled, staring in shock at his shirt in pieces on the ground. Draco laid his wand on his cloak and stepped forwards briskly, pushing Harry against the cold wall behind him.

"I told you, I'm proving to you that I can fight my own battles," Draco replied, pressing his body against Harry's. Harry's mind raced as he tried to figure out what to do. He found himself paralyzed, despite himself.

"You're insane!" Harry finally yelled, finding nothing else to say. Malfoy smiled at him and pressed his lips against Harry's mouth, roughly pulling at the Gryffindor's shoulders. As he did this, Harry found himself overcome with senseless emotions. Malfoy's tongue pressed through his lips and Harry could not fight back. He allowed the blonde boy's tongue to explore his mouth and he even found himself pressing back into the embrace.

Harry grabbed Draco's shirt and pulled it off him. His actions were filled with rage and anger as he threw the shirt aside and allowed the blonde Slytherin to push him to the floor. Harry exhaled and moaned as Draco broke the kiss and began to suckle his neck instead. Malfoy ran his hands down Harry's chest, his fingers finding their way to the boy's belt. He loosened the buckle and pulled them away from Harry's waist, leaving him in nothing but boxer shorts. Malfoy lifted his head to look Harry up and down. He smiled, his eyes resting on Harry's boxers.

"I knew I must have been the one you were showing off for," he deduced from Harry's excitement. Harry grimaced, his heart beating in his ears.

"Shut up, you jerk," Harry snapped, his cheeks flushing red. His breath was short and his words were sharp. Malfoy ran his tongue from Harry's navel to his jaw.

"You know, your showing off really did work on me…" Draco whispered in Harry's ear, nipping at the lobe as he ground his hips into the other boy's. Harry gasped and wrapped his arms around Draco, pressing into the small of his back. Harry unintentionally arched his back as Draco's tongue found its way back to Harry's mouth.

The black haired boy pulled Draco's pants down, as his mouth hungered more for Draco's taste. The blonde one pulled up, smiling as Harry removed his pants.

"What do you think, Potter?" he smirked as Harry's eyes roved downwards and he blushed a soft pink upon the sight of Draco's naked body. Draco didn't wait for a reply. Instead, he removed Harry's boxers and swallowed gently, licking his lips. "So, you want me to prove I can please?"

"N-no…" Harry hadn't managed to answer fully, however, before Draco's tongue was running up his length, teasing him more and more. His eyes shut hard, unable to take what was being done to him. Then Harry felt Draco engulf his entirety into his mouth and suckle gently, pulling and pushing as he did so. Potter felt his hands reach for Malfoy's head, encouraging his actions, but Harry couldn't really believe any of it. Draco's tongue drew intricate little drawings along Harry's shaft before he lifted his head and pressed his hips into Harry again.

"I told you I was good," Draco smirked, his eyes bright and sneaky all at once. Harry's breathing was rapid and so he could not bring himself to speak. He kissed Draco, pulling the boy close to him. Draco complied for a moment, but then pulled away and shook his head. He pulled Harry's legs up over his arms, licked his own hand and encircled his own pride. "I'm not done yet, Potter. Don't let up or it won't be worth it." Draco smiled and gently massaged Harry's opening before penetrating him.

Harry gasped and grimaced, no longer able to distinguish pain from pleasure. Draco pushed in deeper and deeper, grinding into the Gryffindor hard. Harry allowed him to take control, and could do nothing but drop his arms to the floor on either side of him.

Draco panted now too, pulling and pushing harder and harder. Harry could no longer see, nor think. He felt fireworks explode behind his eyes as he reached his climax and could no longer hold on. Draco seemed not to last much longer either, as Harry suddenly felt warm and sticky liquid inside. Draco pulled out and dropped down next to his lover. They both panted and stared at each other with half-lidded eyes, not knowing what to say.

They were both about to fall asleep when Harry did something neither of them expected. He kissed Draco. He kissed him with a tenderness that had not been present during their intercourse.

"What was that for?" Draco murmured, a little confused. Harry flushed red.

"I… I don't know." He was speechless and lost, never having been in a situation like this.

"I knew you wanted me," Draco mused, a smile drawing itself on his face. This smile, however, was not his usual cocky smirk. It was real and neither of them realized it.

Two nights later, Draco found himself standing before a fire pit with the face of his father in the embers. His expression was sullen though he continued to think of the unexpected end to the event. He tried hard to mask his feelings from his father, who would have lashed him if he knew.

"Have you accomplished anything yet, Draco?" Lucius' commanding and cold voice inquired of his son. Draco nodded gravely.

"I have made some progress, despite… unprecedented reactions…" Draco was mildly proud of his phrasing. His father, however, took no notice in his pride.

"Very well, you know what will become of both of us if you do not succeed. Do not disappoint me." Then, with a wisp of smoke, Lucius Malfoy was gone and Draco was left, staring into a fire, thinking far more deeply about a certain boy than he ever meant to.


	2. Chapter 2

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 2

"Harry… Harry!" Harry's eyes snapped open as he threw his head back in shock. Hermione's voice had forcibly brought him back to consciousness. He looked down at the parchment before him on the table. He had allowed his quill to leave a large black ink stain in the middle of his Potions essay when he had fallen asleep.

"What's with you lately?" Ron asked, placing a comforting hand on his best friend's shoulder. Harry shook the sleep out of his head and blinked a few times. He replaced his quill on the table and used a magical eraser to get rid of the blob of black.

"Nothing, nothing," he lied to his friends. "I just haven't been sleeping very well… stress and all, you know." He was indeed lacking sleep but the truth was that he had been plagued by images, memories and feelings that stemmed from what had happened with Draco, not stress.

He felt as though eons had passed since that day but the images in his mind, the sensations from Draco's touch and the feelings that welled in Harry's chest were as powerful as though it had happened no more than an hour ago. He brought his fingertips to his lips, as though reminiscing about the first time Malfoy had kissed him. As he did so, Harry felt his throat get dry and his heartbeat increase. He shook his head again. He needed to concentrate on the task at hand. If he didn't pass this essay, Snape would have his head.

"Harry, maybe you should see Madam Pomfrey about it… I'm sure there is some kind of potion you can take to help you rest better." Hermione hardly looked up from her essay as she suggested possible solutions. Her potions essay on truth draughts was nearly twice as long as Snape had requested, so she was writing in infinitely small lettering to make it all fit. Harry sighed, staring at his half empty roll of parchment.

"No, I don't think so," Harry replied. "I don't really want to have to try and explain it to her. I'll just… try harder, or something." Harry improvised his response as he concentrated hard on the one passage in his book relating to his essay. He was supposed to write a whole roll of parchment on a topic that was only discussed for three lines.

As he stared at the words, however, they began to shift into outlines and draw figures on his page. He couldn't stop his mind from musing over what had happened. He didn't even know what to call it; the "thing". Finally he decided that he needed to get out and take a walk. The dust from the heavy stacks of books that Hermione had brought into the common room (all of which only scarcely mentioned truth draughts) was only adding to his haze.

"Look, I'm going to get some air. I'll finish this later." Without another word, Harry got up and left Gryffindor tower, heading for the grounds.

When he hit the brisk fall air, wearing only a sweater, Harry felt all of nature wash over him and breathed deeply. He walked out towards the lake, wondering what to do about his problem. He thought that maybe he was trying to avoid it too much and so his mind was forcing him to tread on those memories. Perhaps if he forced himself to relive it, he might realize that it's old news and move on to something more important… Or something.

"Alright, I'm going to sit down here and do nothing but think about _it_… for a while. Then, I will never think about it again," Harry told himself with false conviction. He sat down against a large tree just off the edge of the lake and stared into the dark waters.

Amidst the murky liquid, visions of Draco pushing him to the floor and undressing them arose. As though they were chalk drawings on a blackboard, the thoughts that Harry had been trying so hard to repress came to life and rolled smoothly in the water like a film. A strange compressing sensation came to Harry's chest as he watched the mental pictures. His breath caught in his throat and he felt shivers run over his whole body. His glasses were cloudy from the heat of his breath as he forced himself to exhale.

"What the hell is wrong with me!?" Harry finally yelled, grabbing his head and pulling his hair. He clenched his teeth and refused to look back at the lake.

"You know, I've been asking myself that very question from day one," a cold and mocking voice came from behind him. "And, I must say that there is just no _one_ right answer. The list is far too long to sum up for you, so you might want to reconsider your makeup as a whole." Draco stepped forwards, sneering at Harry's pain as he leaned against the tree next to the Gryffindor.

"What do you do, _stalk me_?!" Harry exclaimed, caught off-guard by the source of his malcontent. Draco shook his head and laughed.

"For example, allow me to point out some of your more obvious short-comings," Malfoy continued, ignoring Harry's question. "Your nose is far too pointed. Your eyes are slightly too close together. Your hair is a mess and, need I even say it, your scar is just unsightly." The blonde boy rolled his eyes as he mocked Harry, pointing at each of his features as he named them. "I could continue if you like, but I think you get the point."

"I seem to recall you referring to my appearance as 'sexy'," Potter spat back sarcastically. Malfoy raised his eyebrows.

"You must have been mistaken; I would do no such thing." Draco took to examining his nails as he messed with Harry's mind. The Gryffindor got to his feet and stood to confront Malfoy.

"No, you said it loud and clear," Harry recalled. "Right before you forcibly undressed me in the locker room." Harry grimaced at Draco, attempting to force the explanation he had never been given.

"Fantasizing about me, Potter? I didn't know you were the submissive kind." Draco stepped forwards, slowly closing the gap between the two of them as he further lied to Harry. Potter, however, froze. He had no real proof that it hadn't all been his imagination. What if he had really been fantasizing about Draco? What if it had all been of his own creation? Harry's pupils dilated as Draco gave him a torturous smirk. "Besides, I don't remember you protesting much at all…"

"You little prick," Harry snapped, pushing Draco against the tree. "Why did you do this to me??" He pinned Malfoy against the trunk angrily. If it hadn't been for Draco, he might not be so screwed up; he might be able to concentrate long enough on his work to finish his assignments… he might never have considered these feelings.

"What did I do to you, exactly?" Draco inquired, making no effort to push Harry away. The sky began to turn a dusky grey. "I did nothing that you did not want. You know it's true!" Harry began to breathe heavily, his eyes darting from Malfoy's petulant face, to the ground.

"You never gave me the chance to refuse!" Harry protested, letting go of Draco suddenly. The blonde smiled and shook his head.

"Would you really have said no?" Harry opened his mouth to answer, but found that he could not say it. He couldn't honestly tell Draco that he would have refused, had he been given the chance. He normally would have lied anyway, but he was too surprised by the truth that he shut his mouth and looked away. He hated to give Malfoy this kind of satisfaction. "I thought not." Draco brought his hand up to Harry's face and caressed his jaw. "I wasn't lying when I said you are sexy when you're angry. Though I must say this defeated look is even more priceless."

Harry turned to retort, but Draco caught his mouth with his own and pulled Harry into an unexpected kiss. The Gryffindor tried to pull away at first, but finally succumbed to the action and pressed himself against Draco's body, pushing him back into the tree. The heat between their bodies rose and Harry lost himself to the emotions that coursed through him.

Draco slid his hand under Harry's shirt and into his pants, softly stroking his skin. Harry wrapped his arms around the blonde boy and pressed his hips against Draco, allowing the dam to break and let all the emotions he'd pent up for so long course through him as his excitement increased.

Draco moved into Harry as well, as he let his hands explore Harry's body with careful and sensual movements. The black-haired boy pulled away from the kiss to nibble on Draco's bottom lip, wanting so badly to pull Malfoy down onto him. But the blonde pulled away. He kissed Harry once more and stepped back.

"Its sickly sweet isn't it?" Draco whispered in his ear. "The unsatisfied feeling I'm going to leave you with…" He turned to walk away and Harry tried to restrain himself from pulling Draco back, from showing Malfoy his need.

"So you are just done with me? This is how you are going to end what you've done?" Harry called to him, frustrated and confused. Draco stopped and looked back at Harry over his shoulder.

"Oh no, Potter." Draco's soft pink lips curled into a smile. "I've only just begun…"

Ultimately unsatisfied and angry with himself for bringing it upon himself, Draco walked back towards the castle, trying to calm the beating of his heart. He licked his lips as he made his way through the dark and winding corridors to the Slytherin commonroom. The cold air from the dungeons soothed his agitated soul as he walked and clenched his forearm, almost wishing that he could make it go away.

Something was terribly wrong with his plan. His initial orders gave him free range to use any means necessary, but perhaps he had not chosen the best course of actions. But really, what choice had he had? This was the only way he could even come close to accomplishing his mission. A resounding uncaring voice echoed in Draco's head; his father reminding him of the consequences of failure.

Draco clenched his teeth and calmed his breath as he spoke the password and walked into the cold House of Slytherin. He did not stop to meet his usual cronies, nor did he hesitate for a moment when some of his friends called to him. He almost rejected Pansy Parkinson when she came to him, but he knew better than that. He had to keep up appearances.

"I have something for you, Draco." Pansy's voice was full of what she must have thought to be seductive lust, but Draco had never felt it. He thought only of the other black haired student… the one that actually managed to entice excitement from him. The girl held out a small bag covered in silver and green spirals. Original. "I'll let you look at it alone… but you know where to find me if it, mm, floats your boat." She winked at him and sauntered off.

Draco finally reached his dormitory, locked the door after making sure no one else was present, and dropped himself onto his bed. He pulled the curtains closed and emptied the bag of its contents. There fell a set of lacy black and green lingerie, laced with silver ribbon and white rhinestones. Draco rolled his eyes, and threw it to the end of his bed. He might just plant it somewhere later to start rumors amidst his classmates, but otherwise, this did not 'float his boat' at all.

Instead, Malfoy sat back against his pillow and stared at the tops of his bed hangings. He thought about what had just taken place at the lake and smiled. Despite his dissatisfaction, he relished the thought of what could have transpired. He had control now and soon he would have what he needed. Potter had wanted him just then. He wanted him now too, Draco was certain. The blonde Slytherin began to imagine different scenarios that he could make happen. As he did so, thinking of Potter's skin, his lips and his movements when their bodies were in sync, Draco felt his excitement rise and he brought his hands down to his pants to release some of the tension.

But something worried him. Was he supposed to be so consumed by his task? Was it normal that he could think of nothing else? Perhaps this kind of thing plagued all Death-Eaters when they were in action. Perhaps it was simply his loyalty and determination to please his master that made him so vigorous in his mission. Perhaps…

Draco allowed himself release and exhaled heavily. He closed his eyes and thought more of what he could do, until he came to a very contemptuous next move. He would put it into action soon… A predator cannot give its prey too much leeway, or it might smarten up and fight back.

Draco couldn't have that.

"I take it that you don't feel much better, now," Hermione remarked as Harry returned to the common room, throwing his books aside and crumbling onto one of the large red armchairs near his friends. He almost wanted to glare at her.

"No, not really." Ron pulled something out of his bag and handed it to Harry. It was a chocolate frog. Harry looked at him, unblinking for a moment.

"Here, take it. Chocolate always seems to perk you up." Ron shoved it at him with a smirk. Harry took it but continued to stare at him.

"But isn't this your last one?" Harry asked. Ron rolled his eyes.

"So? You need it more than I do, trust me. Now eat it before I decide to shove it down your throat." Ron chuckled and returned to his essay, which remarkably was no longer than Harry's despite that he had worked on it more avidly. Harry smiled a bit and ate the chocolate. Ron was right; chocolate had been one of the only things to relax him lately. It reminded him of his third year at Hogwarts, when he had Dementor fighting sessions with Professor Lupin. That had been the year he met Sirius.

"So where did you go for your walk? You seem really flushed." Hermione brought a hand to Harry's forehead, seemingly worried about his health. Harry looked away briefly before replying.

"Just down to the lake, it's cold outside." She sat back in her chair and gave him a stern look. Harry gulped inaudibly.

"But it's so calm there, what happened that got you in a mood?" Harry mentally hit himself.

"Malfoy showed up," he told her, unable to find a more suitable response. He hoped they would accept that as reason enough for him to be angry. Luckily, they did.

"The little prat," Ron snapped, throwing his quill down in forfeit. "He always shows up at the worst times to piss everyone off even more. Just seeing him around makes me want to punch him sometimes." Harry laughed at Ron's comment. He agreed with his best friend, but something was making him nervous. The way he had reacted to Malfoy's advances was causing his stomach to churn. He couldn't control himself anymore when he was in front of Draco. He felt this innate need to touch him now, to be close to him, despite how he felt about the little ferret.

Harry thought on that for a moment. How did he feel? He wasn't so sure he hated Malfoy the way he had before. His feelings towards the blonde Slytherin were just as strong as ever, though he was mildly worried that they had changed their tune. Maybe it wasn't hate anymore…


	3. Chapter 3

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 3

"Potter!" Harry snapped to attention. Professor Snape was berating him again as Harry realized that he had added Salamander tails to his potion instead of Salamander root –the result being that the potion that was supposed to be a cool and wispy blue was in fact fiery red and emit exploding bubbles across the room. "Twenty points from Gryffindor and you have detention after class with me, Potter. Perhaps that will teach you to pay attention."

Harry groaned silently to himself and attempted to control the explosions and mop up the spilt liquid. Hermione slipped him a paper with a spell that would help him finish the job, though Harry refused to look up from his mess. He had indeed been inattentive, though he would never admit it. His mind was finding it hard to stay concentrated on anything anymore. He found himself daydreaming day after day, losing hours of time as his head ran round and round things he would prefer to simply avoid. He couldn't take it anymore, yet he felt as though there was nothing he could do.

He couldn't figure any of it out…

The class came to an end and Harry was still cleaning his ingredients, attempting to salvage some bits of his excess ingredients. Salamander tails were terribly expensive and terribly rare. He shook his head, frowning at his own faults and carefully replaced whatever was his back into his bag. Snape had ordered him to clean all the workstations and the cauldrons without the use of magic. It promised to be a long night as he lifted the first of the caked and sticky cauldrons to carry it over to the sink.

"Potter!" Snape called to him. Harry turned reluctantly to his professor. "I have a meeting with the Headmaster. However, since I cannot allow you to get away with your delinquency and I simply cannot trust you alone in the class, Malfoy has graciously agreed to watch you in my absence. He will, of course, report to me any attempts to cheat on your part, so be warned." Without allowing a word of protest, Snape turned on his heel and slammed the dungeon doors behind him. Harry heaved a sigh and turned back to his cauldron, attempting to ignore Malfoy behind him.

"So, how did you snake your way into this?" Harry spat, refusing to look at Draco. He pretended to scrub the bottom of the cauldron, through the massive mountain of bubbles that had grown out of the stone basin sink.

"Snake my way into this?" Draco's voice came, silky and smooth as always. "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, Potter. I simply agreed to help Professor Snape _punish_ you. You've been very _bad_ it seems, Potter." Draco paid careful attention to emphasize certain choice words, but Harry tried to ignore him.

Draco walked towards Harry and leaned against the wall next to the sink, listlessly resting his head on his shoulder. Harry gritted his teeth and determinedly continued to clean the cauldron. Malfoy smiled.

"Though sometimes you do need a _push_ in the right direction," Draco added, again emphasizing choice words. Harry stopped and looked at him, the truth dawning on him.

"_You_ put the Salamander tails into my potion!" The accusation was realistic in Harry's mind. It made perfect sense. Draco cocked an eyebrow.

"Now why would I do that?" he asked, unknowingly batting his eyelashes. "Why would I set myself up to waste my night watching you sweat and toil over a vat of magical bubbles?" Harry wasn't sure, but he thought he could hear a mite of sarcasm in Draco's tone, as though he was in fact suggesting something.

"That's what you want isn't it?" Harry deduced, leaning forwards, over the mountain of bubbles. The soapy water soaked the front of his shirt, but he paid no mind to it. "You wanted to get me alone down in the dungeons, admit it!"

"My my! We _are_ kinky, aren't we, Potter?" Malfoy mused, kissing the air in Harry's direction. He moved towards the Gryffindor boy, picking up a handful of the bubbles. Draco ran the hand over Harry's cheek, leaving a trail of tiny white bubbles on his skin. "Yet still, I'm game if you are…"he suggested, then shrugged. "Even if you aren't."

Harry's eyes widened as Draco's words made their way through his head. He dropped his tools into the basin and as they clanged to the bottom, Malfoy stepped forwards and pushed Harry against one of the work stations. Draco grabbed Harry's wrists where they were soaking and bubbly, and pinned them to his shoulders, pulling the Gryffindor into a hungry embrace, pressing his own body against Harry's.

The wetness of Harry's shirt spread to Draco's and the blonde boy brought his hands down to tear both of their shirts away. Harry found himself running over pages and pages in his mind, pages of the thoughts that had plagued him all week, and he found that he threw them all away. He suddenly began to grind back into Draco's hips, sucking on his tongue and helping him undress. He couldn't deny the carnal need he felt deep down for Draco and so Harry didn't try to pretend anymore. He regained his footing and threw the blonde back against the soapy basin.

"You wanted kink," Harry said, noticing the mild surprise on Draco's face. Harry did not give him the time to reply, however, as he let his emotions take over and pressed into Malfoy, engulfing his mouth in his own. Harry tipped Draco back into the bubbles and rubbed his hips against Draco's inner-thighs when the blonde spread his legs to keep balance over the sink.

Ravenously, Potter ran his hands up and down Draco's sides, exploring his body like he had never been given the chance before. Draco returned the favor and began to tug at the Gryffindor's pants with one hand, running the other into Harry's hair. Fingering the ebony locks, Draco slid his other hand down the front of Potter's pants, carefully caressing his length.

"This isn't quite kink, Potter," Draco murmured into Harry's ear, pulling the boy back with him into the bubbles. Harry gasped softly. Draco had wrapped his hand around Harry's shaft and began massaging. Harry pressed on, however, fumbling with Draco's zipper as he tried to completely undress the blonde. Draco stood up and pushed him away with a smirk. He stood there, before Harry, his pants undone and soaking wet, his pale porcelain torso covered in bubbles. Potter could feel his excitement grow more and more, as blood rushed to one specific region of his body. "I'll show you kinky."

Draco took Harry's hand and led him to a small, reclusive area of the classroom. The slight and almost caring touch sent shivers through Harry's being as he followed Malfoy, his vision clouding and his heart pounding with new words behind the beat. The area Draco had brought him to was somewhat unfit for schooling. There were remnants of shackles and chains hanging from the walls. Malfoy seemed quite pleased.

"This is what you meant, wasn't it? When you said I wanted you alone in the dungeons?" Malfoy laughed and tied Harry's hands behind his back with a chain. He then undressed them both and pushed Harry against the wall, tantalizing him by running his hands up and down Harry's body. Draco kissed him deeply for a moment, and then began to suckle on the Gryffindor's collarbone, taking moments to move downwards and lick his nipples.

Harry wrung his hands, attempting to get free but spent his energy to no avail. Draco pulled Harry down with him and pressed the boy against the floor, allowing his mouth to lick and suck its way down to the Gryffindor's pride. Malfoy licked the tip and sucked gently, teasing Harry for as long as he possibly could. Harry, however, had other plans.

He managed to free his hands and pull Draco up. He flipped the blonde over onto his back and proceeded to taunt him just as he had done before. Harry wrapped his mouth around Draco's length, sucking tenderly and massaging it with his tongue. Draco moaned in delight, cupping his hands around Harry's head in encouragement. Once he had deemed Draco close enough to his climax, he stopped. Malfoy, panting, stared at him with an incredulous look.

"Do you like it? Feeling unsatisfied and unfinished?" Harry demanded, pinning Draco to the floor. "That's how you left me before. How does it feel to taste what you dish out?" Draco smiled and licked his lips.

"Amazing, mainly because I can count on one thing," he replied with a sneer. Harry panted and shook his head, confused. "You want me now more than you want to teach me a lesson. Your lust is too strong." Harry grimaced but he knew that Draco was right, for the most part at least. He kissed Draco roughly and spread his legs, placing himself above Malfoy.

Harry dropped down slowly and let Draco penetrate him. He gyrated slowly at first and then sped up. Draco arched his own back to strengthen his thrusts though there was little need. Harry clutched Draco's arms and shut his green eyes. He threw his head back and knew that he couldn't fight it any longer…

Moments later, Harry felt a wave of warm sticky fluid inside of him and subsequently allowed his own release. He was breathing heavily and let himself fall over onto Malfoy. Draco curled an arm around Harry whose sweaty body collapsed onto him.

"Doesn't take much to exert you does it?" Malfoy snickered, watching Potter's eyes close. He watched him quietly for a few moments rubbing his back tenderly as Harry slept. Then, however, he remembered where they were and shook Harry out of his slumber. "Come on, you still have work to do."

Harry gazed at him confused for a few moments before realization dawned and he was on his feet, zipping his pants. He ran over to get his shirt and continue his work but Draco stopped him before he shoved his hand back into the vat of bubbles.

"I'll take care of all this," Draco assured him. With a wave of his wand, the tables were sparkling clean and the cauldrons were neatly stacked on the proper shelves. Harry stared in wonder as he also realized that his shirt was dry. "I had to learn that spell a while ago. In the absence of our house-elf, my parents decided that I would have to shelf most of the cleaning duties," he confided to Harry. But there was something more pressing.

"But Snape was insistent I not use magic, this should have taken all night," Harry remembered desperately. "He'll have my neck when he sees this…" Draco shook his head.

"He doesn't know how fast you work, I'll assure him you used no magic and he can check your wand." Harry stared in amazement whilst Draco finished clothing himself. Was he really saying this? Was Draco Malfoy really going to lie for Harry to get him out of further punishment? Harry's head was spinning.

He had little time to mull, however, because Snape boomed through the dungeon doors only minutes later, apparently in a mood. Harry gulped and arranged his things. Snape stopped dead and stared at the spotless potions class.

"POTTER!" he hollered at the top of his lungs. "I specifically said no magic!!"

"I didn't-" Harry began, but Draco cut him off.

"He used no magic, Professor." Draco stepped forwards, a look of displeasure on his face. "I watched him clean each of those cauldrons by hand. Really terribly boring if you ask me, and I'm not sure he did his best work, but they are clean and I'm sorry to say it was all legitimate." Draco grimaced and shrugged. Snape inspected a few of the cauldrons and turned back to the boys, quite displeased.

"Alright, Malfoy, thank you, you may go." Draco nodded and turned to leave. "Potter, I don't know how you did this and I don't know how you convinced Malfoy to play along, but for now I'm going to take another ten points from Gryffindor for your insolence. Leave now." Harry obeyed and left the dungeons, albeit rather angrily. He ran after Draco, he needed to know…

"Malfoy!" Harry called. Draco turned to him and stopped out of the way of any potential passing students.

"What is it?" Harry pushed him against the wall angrily. He could sense tears welling in his eyes though he would not let them show.

"How did you do it? How did you do this to me??" Harry demanded, overwhelmed with emotions. "Did you use a potion, a spell, what?! How could you…. How could you do this to me?!" Draco seemed mildly insulted and rather confused.

"What?? Save your ass from another detention? Or did you mean losing you another ten points from your precious house?" he replied in disgust. "Honestly, this is a great way to thank me…" Harry put a hand over Draco's mouth to shush his words. Malfoy stared at Potter with wide eyes. Harry's face showed terrible pain.

"That's not what I'm talking about, you idiot!" Harry removed his hand and stepped back, seemingly hopeless. Draco shook his head.

"Then what have I done to you?! What have I done that you can't explain?!" Draco frowned at him. "Go ahead, say it!" Harry couldn't take it anymore, so he did as Draco demanded.

"You made me love you!"


	4. Chapter 4

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 4

Harry stared out the window of the Gryffindor common room. Light snowflakes were tumbling along in whirlwinds of winter air and covering the ground with a white blanket. The holidays were approaching at lightning speed and it had been a month since he had last spoken to Draco.

Every single day since that night in the dungeons Harry had cursed himself for saying what he had. He should have kept it inside, learned to hide it, controlled himself and, in essence, kept his mouth shut. He beat himself up internally every time he though about it now because not only did Malfoy now have something powerful to use against him whenever he felt like it, but he also seemed to be avoiding Harry. In the past this might have seemed like a positive, but not now.

Harry's stomach churned and something gnawed at him as he attempted to stop himself from thinking of the Slytherin. His mid-term works were all glaring at him, ominously unfinished, from the table he was working at with his friends.

"Harry, come now…. You've been out of it for forever now." Hermione looked up from her book on Defensive Curses, her voice ringing with worry. "You can't even do your work properly. If you don't snap out of it, your may not pass your exams." Harry frowned and glared at his unfinished work.

"Hermione, there _are_ things more important than exams in life, you know," he replied disdainfully. She shook her head.

"Harry, please. I'm just worried about you. We both are…" She nodded her head to Ron, who was sucking on a sugar quill while he attempted to think up suitable predictions for his Divination homework. "Maybe you should consider talking to Dumbledore about how you are feeling… he might be able to help. You can't go on like this, and you know it."

Harry sighed and leaned over his work, picked up his quill and tried to force himself to work. He knew Hermione's intentions were noble and she was probably right. In most cases, Harry would have taken her advice and gone to see Dumbledore, though he was quite sure that Dumbledore would _not_ be able to help him in this particular situation.

"Hermione's right, you need to get out of this funk," Ron finally chimed in, after carefully documenting his extensive proof that he had foretold Harry's death. "But I have a better idea than going to see Dumbledore. You should come back to my house this Christmas, spend the break with my family! You know you are always welcome." Harry's spirits brightened for a moment before plummeting once more. He would have liked to go spend Christmas with the Weasleys, but he could not, in good conscience go. Not after what he had done.

He finished his work and thanked Ron for the offer. He made up an excuse, however, as to why he could not go (something to do with extra training with Dumbledore for dueling) and went upstairs to the dormitory. He dropped down onto his bed and held his head in his hands.

What was wrong with him? He'd turned down going to spend Christmas with the few people in the world who really cared about him; the nicest family in existence… and for what? For solitude, loneliness and self-consumption. He sighed and put on his shoes and cloak, then left Gryffindor Tower to walk on his own.

"Yes, Father. Yes, I understand. Absolutely. I will not fail. I understand the consequences and they shall not apply. Yes, happy Christmas to you as well." Draco's voice was icy cold as he bid his father goodbye and turned away from the fireplace. He was alone in the Slytherin common room and glad of it. He pursed his lips and walked over to one of the black leather couches.

Running his fingers through his sleek blond hair, Draco sighed and shook his head. He was to spend Christmas at Hogwarts this year. He usually quite enjoyed going home for the holidays, though this year, it was probably for the best he stay at school. His father was not at all pleased with him, and returning home to his father's dissatisfaction was not something Draco would do willingly.

Besides, his father had no right to be angry. It wasn't _his_ fault that events had turned out the way they had. It was beyond his control and he could not allow himself to press further if circumstances were already as volatile as they there.

Malfoy threw his head back and leaned back into the couch. He could not stop thinking about the last time he had seen Potter. It was far too much for him. He hadn't seen the boy in just over a month and it was not entirely coincidental.

As he reviewed what had happened in his mind, he grimaced at himself and groaned. It had been so unexpected and so unplanned. He had been unprepared for that particular turn of events and, honestly, did not anticipate that it would be at all possible. Potter was supposed to _hate_ him. It was not supposed to end up that way. He was simply supposed to become addicted to Draco, in a manner of speaking. There was no deeper emotion that was supposed to be involved.

Potter was _ruining_ his finely laid plans!

Draco stood angrily, and huffed for a moment, overcome with anger. He quickly realized, however, that his anger was not directed at Potter, but at himself. It was true, there was not supposed to be any presence of deeper emotion, but there was. And the greater problem lied in the fact that Potter was not the only one to have them.

"That's just not true!" Draco told himself, angrily. "He's the one that feels that way, I'll just abuse of it. Yes…. This way, he'll trust me and listen to me if I want to lead him somewhere. He will be blinded by his emotions so I can take advantage! Yes, that's how I'll get to him…."

But Draco was lying to himself and he knew it. He shook his head again, grabbed his cloak and scarf and left the common room. He needed to find Potter.

Harry stood in the doorway of the boys' change rooms, just off the Quidditch pitch. He sighed, remembering what had happened there. The air was cold and the wind was urging him inside. He was freezing from the snow and yet, could not bring himself to walk back in there.

He had almost hoped that Malfoy would be waiting for him inside. He felt mild disappointment when he realized that the rooms were completely empty and he was the only one around for miles. Everyone was, quite clearly, keeping to the insides of the castle in order to stay warm. Malfoy was probably with them.

"Reminiscing on the good old days, are we?" A cool voice came from behind Harry. His heart stopped for a moment. He did not turn around. He was mixed with a refusal to face Malfoy and a refusal to be disappointed in him not being there at all. He did not want it to be one of his crazy fantasies. "Honestly, Potter, either go in or get out," the voice chastised him and a strong push threw him forwards into the warm change room. He finally turned around.

Malfoy stood just inside the doorway, his hair encrusted with little tiny icicles that matched the cold grey of his eyes. His cheeks were soft pink and his cloak was soaking wet. Harry felt his breathing increase and his heartbeat quicken.

"Perhaps I'm reliving a nightmare," Harry spat coldly. He attempted to glare at the Slytherin, but managed only to create a rather misleading pout. Draco smirked.

"Not from what I remember," he replied, stepping forward and removing his dripping cloak and scarf. He was wearing a black fitted turtleneck and dark wash jeans. "Or have you changed your mind about loving me?" Harry's breath caught in his chest and he frowned.

"I don't know what you are talking about," he lied, quite poorly. Draco closed the distance between them.

"Don't you?" he asked calmly. Harry's glasses began to fog up slightly from the proximity and sudden heat.

"No, I don't love you," he answered. "I never did love you. I hate you, Malfoy. I ha-" But before he could finish, Draco had pulled him into a kiss. It was different, however, than they had been before. His kiss held no burning desire, no carnal hunger, no angry passion. Instead, it was marked by its tenderness and softness.

He held Harry in place, for a few moments. Their embrace did not break but Harry's heart pounded as he succumbed momentarily to the Slytherin's actions. Draco finally pulled away very gently, keeping his face within a few centimeters of Harry's.

"I hate what you have done to me," Harry whispered, his voice still full of anger and hatred, though his eyes now conveyed a deep and powerful sense of need and love. Draco took no notice of his voice, but stared into his eyes.

"I know," he replied quietly, his fingers carefully removing Harry's wet scarf and cloak. "But you haven't been so nice to me either, you know, Harry."

Potter's eyes widened. Did that just happen? Did Draco say what he thought he did? Harry stood motionless while Draco calmly began removing Harry's wet clothes. Harry suddenly shook his head and stepped back.

"What are you talking about?" Harry demanded, now shirtless in front of Draco. The blond smiled at stared at his chest as he heaved with every breath.

"I'm talking about what you've done to me," Draco elaborated carefully, attempting to step towards Harry again. "Don't think you're the only one who was affected by what we've been doing. Honestly, you are such a drama queen sometimes." Harry's heart beat faster and faster.

"You… you aren't lying?" Harry asked, in shock. Draco laughed and caressed Harry's face with his hand.

"Were you?" Draco did not wait; he pulled Harry into another kiss. This time, Potter reciprocated, wrapping his arms around the blond and pulling him down to the floor. He carefully removed Draco's shirt and kissed a trail of careful pecks down the boy's neck, to his chest.

Draco straddled Harry, pressed their chests together and brushed the boy's black hair away from his face. Draco traced a thin line over Harry's scar before stopping, to look into his eyes. They both stared at one another for a moment, in silence.

"I'm staying at Hogwarts this Christmas," Draco mumbled. Harry felt strange waves of emotion wash over him. The blond continued to lightly caress Harry's scar as he spoke. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm staying too…" he replied, quietly, allowing his forehead to be stroked. No one had ever touched his scar like this before; it made him sleepy and serene.

"I suppose you and your friends will spend the time finding new ways to come out the hero and save the day," Draco mused, with traces of spite. Harry shook his head.

"Ron and Hermione are going home for the holidays…. I'll be here alone," he explained. Draco cocked an eyebrow.

"Why aren't you jetting off to stay with the weasels?" Harry frowned, slightly, then smirked.

"After being with you? You can't think I would try to poison my own best friend with your essence," he retorted. Draco stopped tracing over his scar.

"Yes, _I'm_ tainted one." Harry furrowed his brow and pushed Draco off. He sat up and picked up his shirt. Draco lifted a hand to stop him, but noticed the black mark on his arm slightly visible and thought the better of it.

"You can't love me if you speak of my friends like that," Harry stated, clothing himself and hoping the Slytherin might find some way to stop him.

He didn't.

Draco said nothing, though his face had fallen as he watched Harry redress. Harry moved towards the door.

"You seriously have this brooding and sullen look down pact." Draco's voice came from behind him as he left. "Gets me every time."


	5. Chapter 5

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 5

Harry stood in the grand entrance hall of Hogwarts, watching his two best friends' retreating backs as they bid him goodbye and went off home for the holidays. He leaned against the giant stone doorframe and sighed, almost wishing he had changed his mind about going with Ron. He walked towards the Great Hall for dinner. It was Christmas Eve, and Hogwarts was very empty and very lonely already.

Ron and Hermione and promised to stay with him until this point; they left the latest they could in attempt to keep him company and change his mind. He walked down the long empty table and sat himself near the end, picked up some food and began his dinner. He looked around himself. There were very few students left at all; maybe ten in the whole school. Harry was certainly the only Gryffindor left. Some younger girls watched him from the Ravenclaw table and giggled to each other. Whether this was because he was eating alone or because he was Harry Potter made no difference to Harry at all.

As he attempted to make his way through the small plate of food he had taken, he glanced over to the Slytherin table. There were two students sitting there, though neither was the one he had hoped to see. He frowned and dropped his fork. He was torn inside and could not bring himself to eat any food at all. It had been that way for over a week. Hermione had complained that he would waste away completely if he kept it up. He was sure she had tried to slip him some kind of potion during that time, and so took to refusing anything she offered him.

He took a swig of eggnog, replaced his cup and got up from the table. As he passed through the doorway, a familiar scent wafted past him. It was a sweet scent that he quite enjoyed though he bit his tongue and hoped he was wrong.

"Not hungry, Potter?" He was not. Draco was standing behind the door as he left and began to follow him. "You know you might actually fill out your uniform if you ate something. You are really too thin to be normal. Quite meek-looking, actually."

"This coming from someone who has two huge tree trunks fight his battles for him, so he doesn't break a nail?" Harry snapped, starting up the stairs towards Gryffindor tower. Draco followed.

"I can't help it if people enjoy serving me." Draco kept in step with Harry, despite Potter's best efforts to lose him. "They need me as much as you do." Harry laughed.

"Then clearly you are useless to everyone," he spat, quickening his pace slightly. Draco's face showed mild surprise.

"Rather touchy today, aren't we?" Malfoy remarked. "Pray tell, what's got your knickers in a twist today?" he asked, making a move towards Harry's pants. Harry threw him a glare and continued walking.

"You have, you little ferret," he snapped. "You just never quit, do you?"

"Afraid not," Draco responded. "And honestly, I see no great relation between me and a ferret so why must you continue to call me that?" Harry stopped dead, thinking for a moment, then turned to him.

"Let's see," he began. "Small, weak, wiry, sneaky and altogether rather unpleasant little rodent that usually causes more trouble than it's worth… Hmm, no, I think it's a perfect description of you." He gave Draco a once-over and continued on his way. Draco followed.

"That was not very noble of you, Potter," Malfoy remarked matter-of-factly. "Not something a good Gryffindor should say. Sounds more like a Slytherin comment if you ask me." Harry ground his teeth and bit his tongue.

"I'm nothing like you, I don't belong in Slytherin," he replied. Their conversation was causing him terrible struggle inside. It took him every ounce of control to stop from jumping Draco right there and throwing caution to the wind.

"It's not so bad being me…you seem to like me enough to prove that." Harry groaned and rolled his eyes.

"You are wrong, I don't like you at all," the Gryffindor stated with as much confidence as he could muster. "And why would I want to be distrusted by everyone? Everyone knows Slytherins are evil." Draco then grabbed Harry's arm to turn his attention. The blond boy's eyes shone with malice.

"I think you quite enjoy playing in the shadows, if you ask me." Harry stared at him for a moment, his jaw clenched and yet relishing every moment of Draco's touch.

"No one asked you," he replied, reluctantly wrenching his arm out of Malfoy's grasp. "And _why_ are you following me??" Draco laughed.

"I want to see where you sleep."

Draco smiled darkly at the boy before him as he stated his simple purpose. Potter's eyes flashed a hint of excitement, though he tried visibly to hide it. He could see Potter's mind race as he tried to read the comment and ignore the feelings that were swirling around inside of him. Draco almost wanted to laugh, though he knew, deep down, that the same feelings were rushing around inside of him as well.

"You aren't allowed into other Houses. School rules," Harry attempted. Draco shook his head.

"Hasn't stopped you before." He could see that Potter's heart had stopped for a moment. Draco was bluffing, but clearly he had hit on something secret. "Again, I know you like to play in the shadows more than you like to follow rules." Draco stepped up to level with the boy and motioned for him to lead the way.

"If I get caught for this," Harry began, speaking through his teeth.

"Who cares? Everyone at this school loves you. They wouldn't touch a hair on your pretty little head," he explained. "You are Harry Potter, after all. If that's not good for getting out of trouble, then what _is_ it good for?"

Harry frowned as he lead the way into the Gryffindor common room. It was bright and warm and red and gold and made Draco want to barf a little. He was used to dark green and silver decorations, not these warm and happy red ones. Somewhere, inside, he did almost feel jealous. It was never so comfortable to walk into the Slytherin common room. There, there was a distinct feeling of distrust and isolation. In this place, there was comfort and warmth.

"What's wrong? Don't know what warmth feels like? Let me explain, it's called feeling alive and welcome." Harry sneered. "Not like the paranoid morgue you live in down in the dungeons."

"So you _have_ been there?" Draco smirked and Harry froze. "You still haven't shown me where you sleep, specifically." Draco removed his school robes so that he was in a fitted t-shirt and jeans. Harry stared at his chest.

"What do you want to do? Dig up dirt on my friends so that you can more accurately insult them?" Draco stepped forwards and began to undo the clips that kept Harry's robes tied.

"I don't want to touch anything or anyone but you," he stated, carefully removing Harry's shirt. He carefully pulled it over his head and then placed a gentle hand on the Gryffindor's bare chest.

"How do you do this?" Harry whispered. Draco smiled.

"It's quite simple," he replied. "All I have to do is pull the shirt over your head, and off it comes. You don't put up much of a fight either, so it makes matters simpler. Then all I have to do is-" Without finishing his sentence, he slip his hand down the front of Potter's pants and ran his fingers along his length. Harry was about to protest but found himself pressing himself into Draco, pulling him into a kiss.

Draco carefully removed his hand from the Gryffindor's pants and broke the kiss. He paused a moment, his lips lingering just over Harry's, in the sweet anticipation of another embrace. Harry nodded to him and took his hand, leading him up the stairs to the boys' dormitory.

The room was circular and cozy, the beds were all arranged so that the faced every other bed, though the hangings around them allowed privacy. Everything, again, was in shades of red and gold.

"This is my bed," Harry explained, leading him over to one of them. All the other beds were lonely and devoid of clothes or school things. Harry's bed, however, was surrounded with his things. It must have been strange to sleep there alone at night.

"Get lonely all on your own here?" the blond remarked.

"Why? You offering to fill the void?" he sneered at Malfoy. Draco smirked and pushed him down onto the mattress.

"I think I already have." He thrust himself onto Potter, suckling at his lower lip and quickly removing his pants. Harry must have let go of his inhibitions because he began to pull Draco's clothes off of him with a rushed kind of need. Draco removed Harry's glasses and put them on the bedside table. Harry blinked at him.

"You've never removed them before," he whispered, feeling his excitement rise with every passing moment that Draco was on top of him. Malfoy smiled.

"Yes but it's never been like it's going to be, can't have you getting hurt now," Draco explained. He quickly pulled off Harry's pants, leaving him in nothing but boxers and smiled again. "You've never been _this_ excited before. What was it, performance nerves?" Harry blushed and pushed Draco's pants down.

"No, it was so you didn't feel so bad in comparison," he replied coolly. Draco smirked and held Harry's chest down with one hand as he removed his own pants and threw them to the side. He realized that his excitement was also greater this time than it had been before. Perhaps something had changed. He pushed the thought from his mind and continued with his task.

Nibbling gently on his ear, Draco ground his hips into Harry's and slipped his hands down the boy's sides and beneath his boxers. Harry arched his back and rubbed his hips up and down against Draco's. Malfoy sucked vigorously on Harry's neck and pulled off his boxers, revealing his fully nude figure.

Draco lifted his head a moment to try and take in all of Potter's naked body. He smiled, sucked on one of Harry's nipples for a moment and then leant over to whisper in his ear.

"I lied before when I said you are sexiest when you're angry," he told Potter. "You're sexiest when you're naked and staring up at me like you were." Harry moaned as Draco massaged his length with his fingertips, kissing him deeply.

Harry pushed his fingers down Draco's back, tugging at the hem of his boxers in order to remove them. Draco brought one hand up to help him, before pinning both Potter's arms down to the bed. He leaned down and kissed the tip of Harry's length before turning him onto his stomach and bringing him to his knees.

Harry leant forwards on his forearms, while Draco kissed his lower back and licked his way downwards. Pulling Potter's legs apart, he lapped his tongue at Harry's entrance, carefully tantalizing him and moistening the area. Potter moaned louder this time while Draco worked. He lifted his hand to Harry's shaft and felt a light liquid.

"Careful, Potter," he warned. "You don't want to give up too soon or you'll miss the best part." Harry bit his lip and tried to control his breathing. Draco smiled, turned Harry back onto his back and licked two of his own fingers. Harry watched him carefully, unable to see him in much detail, he gasped as Draco inserted his fingers into Harry. As he probed gently he held Potter's legs apart, observing the boy's face.

Not wanting the Gryffindor to give up too quickly, he removed his fingers and leaned into him to kiss his lips again. Harry pushed him up, however, throwing Draco onto his back. Potter got to his knees and pinned Malfoy on his back.

"I underestimated you," Draco whispered. Harry smirked and lowered his mouth to Draco's length, licking it from base to tip before encircling it with his mouth and sucking with growing strength. The Slytherin lay back, allowing small moans to escape him as Potter clearly had some talent with his tongue.

Harry lifted his head as Draco began to see little stars behind his eyes. He leaned over Draco with a dark smile and inserted his own length into Malfoy. Malfoy gasped in surprise and bit his lip, trying not to give in. Harry laughed as he pushed back and forth.

"What's wrong? Giving up so soon?" Draco opened his eyes and pushed Harry back to the bottom. Draco sneered at him and shook his head.

"You don't belong on top," he answered, inverting their positions so he could penetrate Harry instead. Potter did not fight back, but pulled Draco into a hungry kiss while they gyrated together. Their chests pressed against one another, Draco felt Harry's heart beat against his. Harry pulled out of the kiss, unable to do both at the same time. Draco took to sucking on his neck again, leaving red marks in different places. Harry threw his head back and moaned loudly, his breathing increasing heavily while Draco pushed into him. He finally cried out as he hit his climax. Draco let go too and they both collapsed down onto the bed.

Draco panted quietly as Harry tried to keep his eyes open. They looked at each other for a few moments in silence. Something dawned on Malfoy, however, and he picked up his watch. Then he smiled softly and kissed Harry gently on the lips.

"Merry Christmas," he said.


	6. Chapter 6

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 6

Draco snapped out of his dream, breathing heavily and covered in a cold sweat. Harry was leaning over him, clearly very worried, holding his shoulder tightly to calm him down. The blond looked around a moment, bewildered and confused, trying to make sense of his whereabouts and his situation. Once he finally realized that he was still in Gryffindor tower, sleeping in Harry's bed, he calmed down a bit and his breathing slowly returned to normal. Potter was sitting cross-legged under the covers next to him.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his voice husky from lingering sleep though his eyes were awake and intimate in their expression. Draco studied his lips for a moment; they seemed more pouted than usual and begged him to kiss them. He disregarded the thought, however, and tried to shake his dreams from his mind.

"I'm fine, why did you wake me?" he lied, rubbing his eyes and staring down at the covers. He felt cold. Harry leaned in closer and pulled the bed covers up around Draco.

"You were having a nightmare," the Gryffindor replied carefully. Draco stared at him, a small and yet very fake smirk drawing itself on his face.

"I didn't realize you cared so much," he snickered, making a mock-pout at Harry. "I don't need to be babied." Potter frowned.

"I don't care so much, but you were seizuring so violently and screaming so loud I couldn't sleep." Potter turned away and lay back down on the bed. Draco leaned over him with a smile.

"So it was entirely selfish?" Draco mocked him, running a finger down Harry's cheek. "That concern on your face when I woke up, that was just you worried about getting your beauty sleep, was it?" Harry glared at him.

"You were screaming some pretty strange things, it was freaking me out," he spat back, pushing Draco back and sitting up once more. Malfoy laughed.

"I was dreaming of falling off my broom into a fiery pit," Draco lied quickly. "You probably just heard me scream from that." Harry gave him a hard and piercing look. Draco might almost have flinched had he not been used to getting looks like that all the time.

"I think you are lying to me," Potter stated matter-of-factly. Malfoy shifted in his position, trying to keep his cool expression.

"What makes you so sure?" Harry leaned forwards sneakily and stared at him, straight in the eyes.

"You were yelling 'Stop it, father! Stop it! Please, no!'"

Draco froze. He stared into Harry's torturous green eyes and attempted to call his bluff. But was he bluffing? Draco's dream lingered heavily on his soul as he relived the moments of it. He weighed his words very carefully, trying to decide whether to deny it all or simply admit to the whole dream.

"I think you have more kinky fantasies in that scarred head of yours than you let on, Potter," Malfoy replied, pressing a thin finger into Harry's scar. Potter shook his head and pulled Draco into a kiss, running his fingers through the silver-blond hair. Draco reciprocated and leaned into the Gryffindor, hoping that their embrace might help him forget about the dream he had had.

"Hey wait," Harry cried out, suddenly breaking the kiss. "It's Christmas!" Draco had forgotten as well. He was mildly startled as he watched Potter leap out of bed. He observed him carefully, however, as the boy put on a pair of pants and hopped, one leg in his jeans, to the edge of his bed. Draco opened the hangings and watched him happily seat himself before a small pile of gifts. Draco raised an eyebrow.

"Who are all these from, your fangirls?" Draco jeered, picking up a pink and white polka-dotted package. Harry snatched it back from him.

"No, these are from the Weasleys, Hermione and Hagrid," he replied, tearing open a package of joke items clearly from Fred and George Weasley. The items were marvelous and original in their nature, Draco almost felt jealous.

"Well, your friends clearly don't mind sparing a penny for you," Draco mumbled, picking at his nails. Harry looked up a him, unsure of how to reply.

"What do you mean by that?" a small frown had shaped on his mouth, tainting his dark features. Draco smiled at him.

"Nothing, just means they give you lots of gifts," he answered, with no hidden meaning to his words. Harry furrowed his brows.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't have a pile three times this big waiting for you down in the Slytherin dormitory," he said, pulling the paper off a Quidditch poster Hermione had given him. Draco laughed dryly.

"You wouldn't, perhaps, but I would be," he admitted. Harry looked at him perplexed.

"I would have thought that your parents would spoil you rotten," Potter explained. Draco leaned forwards over the foot of the bed.

"You'd think that, but you don't know," he responded, the familiar silkiness back in his tone. "My father provides me with what I need to succeed and generally anything else is up to me to attain. He thinks that presents ruin one's independence and will to accomplish goals. If I want something, I have to find a way of getting it myself." Harry stared, his package of sweet from the Weasleys still only half open on his lap.

"Really?" he asked incredulously. "What about when your father bought all of the Slytherin Quidditch team Nimbus 2001s?" Draco nodded.

"It was so I could be a first string Seeker….had nothing to do with my wanting the broomstick. It was for athletic advancement," Draco explained honestly. He got up and retrieved his pants from the floor. Harry watched him in silence.

"I didn't realize that," he muttered sheepishly. Draco turned to him, shirtless and smiling.

"That's the point." He walked over to sit next to Harry. "No one is supposed to be any the-wiser about what really goes on in the Malfoy household. Never."

"But you've just told me, haven't you?" Harry asked, confusion etched on his features. Draco looked into his eyes, unmoving.

"Fancy that."

Harry stared at Draco for a long moment. His mind was racing. He pushed his gifts aside and pressed himself to the Slytherin, pulling him into a deep kiss. Draco allowed himself to be pushed to the floor as Harry leaned over him, placing one leg on each side of the blonde's body.

Draco grabbed Harry's head and pulled him closer, closing the space between them and feeling an intimacy that had never been present before with one another. Harry felt him close and allowed the warmth of Draco's body to wash over him and drown him in the feeling of want.

"I wanted to get you a gift," Draco whispered to him, breaking their kiss for a few moments. He pecked Harry's lips once more.

"I thought Malfoys didn't believe in gifts," Harry joked, nipping at Draco's ear. Draco played with his hair.

"No, I said my father doesn't believe in gifts; that doesn't mean I have anything against them." Harry laughed and kissed him again, lying flat on top of the boy and running his hand down Draco's arms.

Malfoy smiled into the kiss and lifted his arms, bringing Harry's with them. He turned over and rolled his lover onto his back. Harry let Draco push on top of him, suckling gently at his bottom lip.

"So tell me, what would you have gotten me?" Harry mused as Draco sucked on his neck.

"Some hand cuffs," he answered without hesitation. Harry looked at him seriously for a moment.

"Really?" Draco smirked and stared down at the Gryffindor. Harry cocked an eyebrow.

"No, but that would be useful wouldn't it?" Harry rolled his eyes. "I would have gotten you a necklace." The blonde continued his task of tantalizing Harry. Meanwhile, the Gryffindor stared at him, perplexed.

"What? A necklace?" Draco stopped and looked down at Harry, his face unbothered by his lover's apparent confusion.

"Yes, a necklace. You put it around your neck….it's a type of accessory." Harry frowned.

"I know what a necklace is, you prat," he spat. "What I meant was, why would you get me a necklace?" Draco nuzzled Harry's neck.

"Not a girly one, you idiot," he explained. "A black band with a little pendant. I wouldn't give you anything to take away from your incredible manliness, after all," he sneered, coyly kissing Harry's jaw line.

"What would this pendant be?" Harry asked, still rather disbelieving of the whole idea. Draco did not hesitate for a moment.

"A tiny snitch." Harry smiled at the absurdity of the comment and kissed Draco again. He would never have imagined that. He ran his fingers down Draco's arms again as they embraced, but this time Harry's fingers paused on a strange texture on one of his lover's forearms. It almost felt like paint.

"What's that?" he asked, his finger picking at a piece.

"What's what?" Draco asked, ignoring his fingers and pressing against him more deeply. Harry reciprocated but would not let his fingers move from the spot they had found.

"On your arm, it feels like paint," he explained. Draco pulled away from the kiss for a moment and laughed.

"You're crazy, it's nothing." He tried to kiss Harry again, but the Gryffindor shook his head.

"No, it has to be something," he defended. "It can't be healthy, let me see." Draco immediately pulled away, sitting up and taking his arms from Harry's grasp.

"It's nothing," he repeated. "Just dry skin or something." Harry sat up with him, his face serious and unwavering.

"Draco, let me see your arm," he demanded, reaching for the Slytherin's limb. Draco pulled away.

"Come on, stop babying me," he refused, pulling away from Harry. "I told you it's nothing." Harry, however, pressed further.

"Just show me!" Potter demanded once more, snatching Draco's arm and pulling it forwards to himself.

"Gawd you are persistent. It's nothing!" Harry scratched away quickly at the dry area to see what it was. The flakes of what did indeed seem like paint fell away from his arm to reveal something that made Harry's heart stop.

In dark black was the image of a skull with a curling serpent for a tongue, burned into Draco's forearm.

"Nothing, just the Dark Mark."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed and encouraged me to continue! I love you all! Chapter 7, as promised. This one gets darker and less romantic, though that is a result of the plot. I hope you all enjoy it!

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 7

Harry looked around himself. He was breathing hard. He was sweaty and had collapsed from exhaustion. He was sitting in a small alcove in the Gryffindor common room, trying to come to terms with all that had happened. His eyes would dart from one side of the room to the other and to the portrait hole, then back again.

It had all happened so fast and in such a blur of pain and hurt that Harry could hardly remember it at all. It was as though it had been a terribly vivid nightmare, but as he looked around the wrecked common room, he knew that it could not have been a dream at all. It had been real… very real.

"_You lied to me! You bastard, you lied!" _Harry remembered yelling. He had felt so angry so fast. He remembered feeling his face fill with heat and simultaneously feel his heart die. He hadn't gone for his wand right away. He wanted Draco to prove him wrong, somehow, he supposed. Now that he thought about it, he was glad he hadn't gone for his wand. If he had, things might have ended up much different.

"_Potter, please," _Draco had begun. His voice hadn't been pleading, however. It hadn't been desperate like Harry's. It was almost sarcastic. Harry felt his chest tighten again as he remembered the words.

"_You said you loved me!! You lied straight to my face and then took advantage of me!! For what? What were you planning? Did you think I'd follow you to my death? Did you think that I'd never find out!?"_ The words had flowed so quickly from Harry's lips that he didn't remember thinking them at all. He remembered throwing whatever was nearest at the Slytherin. He remembered clenching his fists and punching him, he did not remember thinking.

"_Did I ever actually say I loved you?" _Those words had hurt much more than anything else. Draco's voice seemed to have been forced, almost. He remembered that. That was also the moment he decided to go for his wand. He had picked it up and pointed it at Draco. He remembered casting a spell –he couldn't remember which –and watching the stream of magic hit nothing but the doorframe as Malfoy had fled and run down the stairs.

Harry had followed him. He didn't remember how, but he had caught up quickly. Draco had stumbled down some steps and ended up on his knees in the common room. Harry had started yelling again. He didn't remember at all what he had said. All he remembered was casting more spells. He remembered hitting the walls and the couches. He remembered watching Draco scramble around to get his cloak and run out the portrait hole.

Harry's face formed a pained grimace, something like that of a wounded animal. He started to hyperventilate again. He thought he remembered Draco's voice pleading at the end. He thought he remembered the Slytherin calling out to him but he couldn't be sure. He just remembered screaming one last thing.

"_Run you filthy scum! Run like your cowardly master who couldn't kill me either! I won't let you kill me!!" _Harry had hollered his words. He had screamed them so loud he was sure that every person present in the school had heard him. He remembered that feeling. He remembered exactly what sound he heard in his mind when he felt his heart explode and kill his soul.

He hardly remembered what happened after that. All he knew was that the room was in ruins and his face was bloody and his body was bruised. He remembered feeling more angry at himself than anything else. He remembered feeling ashamed.

Harry then felt an overwhelming sense of distress as he burst out into a fit of quiet, heaving sobs, collapsing into his knees and throwing his wand across the room. He screamed again and again until his voice was hoarse and he couldn't scream anymore. He continued to open his mouth and force air from his lungs though no sound would come out. He ripped at his hair and smacked himself in the face, as if in effort to punish himself for having been so foolish, so easily blinded.

He threw his head back and hit it against the stone wall behind him. He was still shaking with the anger that coursed through him. He tried to scream one more time. What was he to do now?

He had given his heart to a Death-Eater.

Draco threw himself onto the couch in the Slytherin common room. He had just run through the entire castle, stumbling and tripping most of the way there. He was breathing hard. His nose was bleeding and he was still shirtless. He was shaking from both fear and anger. He was shaking from the hurt. There were tears streaming down his face but he hadn't noticed them. He was still inside the Gryffindor boys' dorms, as far as he was concerned.

"_You bastard!! You filthy treacherous bastard! You dirty coward, I won't let you kill me!!" _Draco heard Harry's words echoing in his mind. He clenched his teeth and gingerly coughed. His hand was clutching his side where one of Harry's spells had hit him. His torso was now half purple and he was sure some of his ribs were cracked.

"_I never said I love you! You just believe what you want! The whole world doesn't have to follow your rules, Potter!"_ He remembered screaming so many things in his anger. He remembered saying so many things. Why had he said them? Why had he said so many things he hadn't meant? Why hadn't he just accepted Harry's words and tried to prove him wrong?

"_You always make yourself the victim! You deserve to die!"_ Draco yelled out into the hollow stone common room. He clenched his fist and punched the couch. Why had he said that? He had been angry. He had lost control. He had been hurt from what the Gryffindor was calling him. He was mostly angry because he knew those things were true.

"Why does he have to fly off the handle like that? Why couldn't he give me a chance to explain?!" Draco yelled to himself throwing his cloak across the room and tugging hard at his own hair. His eyes fell on the black mark on his arm. "It's this stupid thing!!" he screamed, slapping the mark and beginning to scratch away at it.

When he realized the mark was not going to disappear so easily, he got to his feet and pushed over a black desk sitting in the centre of the room. The blonde closed his eyes and remembered the look of concern on Harry's face when he woke him up. He remembered he coy little glint in Harry's eyes while he was opening his gifts. He remembered the feeling of their bodies pressed against each other, in sync with one another and both willing.

This was never meant to happen. It was not supposed to turn out this way. He was not supposed to care. He was not supposed to doubt. He was not supposed to want to be more than he was and it was not supposed to feel so good to be good.

He was not supposed to change his mind.

Eight days had passed and every day since, Harry had overturned the whole of the Gryffindor common room in hopes of hurting himself so bad that he might forget. Every night, however, while he was passed out from the exhaustion on the floor, the Hogwarts house-elves had come and set the room right. Every night, he slept off most of his weakness and awoke with more strength, more anger and more memories.

Students had started filing back into the school because break was over and Harry had started to avoid people in general. He spent much of his time in the owlery. There were few people ever present there, only the birds. He would stand at the window for hours, staring out. Sometimes he would climb up onto the windowsill and lean out as far as he dared over the hundreds of feet of void below him.

He would think of letting himself fall, time and time again. He would think of just forgetting the whole thing and letting himself drop to his death on the frozen ground beneath. No one would miss him, he was sure. No one would even discourage him from doing it if they found out about what he had done.

The boy who lived fell in love with a Death-Eater and nearly gave everything away. No one would care that this child savior had jumped to his death. They would thank him for it in the end, because he would spare them his future mistakes. He would spare them the pain of having to suffer his errors.

Every time he did this, however, a reassuring nip at his ear and a heavy tug at his cloak from his beloved Hedwig would pull him back down into the safety of the circular room. She would stop him from doing the unthinkable (though he was sure he had already done that). Every time, he would give her a soft pet and send her back to her perch, assured that she wasn't about to lose her companion.

Harry would instead spend the time fighting with himself. He didn't know what to do now. He should go to Dumbledore and tell him about Malfoy. He should tell the whole school that Malfoy was a Death-Eater. He should inform the Ministry of Magic and have Draco arrested. He should have him sent to Azkaban or given a Dementor's Kiss. He should have him pay dearly for what he had done and what he had attempted to do.

But every time that Harry started convincing himself that this was the right course of action, he would stop himself and shake his head. He couldn't do what he knew he should. He couldn't do it even if he wanted to. His heart, or whatever was left of it, was simply refusing. As much as he hated it, he still loved Malfoy.

As much as he hated it, he couldn't destroy Draco like Draco had destroyed him.

"You insolent fool, why have you not yet accomplished your mission? Do you know what position you've put me in? Need I remind you of the consequences if you fail?" Lucius' Malfoy's cold and demanding voice echoed throughout the Slytherin common room. Draco listened to his father, his teeth clenched and his eyes full of fire.

"I told you, I'm in a position with few options and even fewer good ones. I can't do anything about it now, you will just have to wait," he spat into the fire that had taken the shape of his father's face. Even in the fire Malfoy's face was livid.

"You idiot! I don't care what position you are in, I will not have you jeopardize the Malfoy name and both of our lives for your stupidity! He has given you an ultimatum," Lucius explained, his voice serious and full of tension. "If you do not complete your part in this mission before the end of next month, we will all pay the price. I don't care how you do it, just _do it_." Lucius Malfoy was about to disappear before Draco spoke.

"I can't do it, and I don't care. It doesn't matter anymore," he retorted simply. Lucius Malfoy grimaced at his son, his fiery eyes full of anger.

"Why the hell not?" he demanded, losing his temper and raising his voice. Draco shook his head, forsaking all politeness towards his father in favour of his own anger.

"Because he knows that I'm a Death-Eater." Draco spat into the fire, distorting his father's face. "He knows and I don't give a damn."

A/N: Chapter 8 should be up very soon as well. It gets darker and more rough as it goes. I also think I'm going to make it longer than 10 chapters, so there should be quite some more on the way! Also, there was a question as to why Draco would want to give Harry a necklace, it was meant to be a symbol of their "union" so-to-speak. A ring was rather boring and the necklace will likely make an appearance, so you'll have to watch for it!


	8. Chapter 8

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 8

A rush of fluttering feathers came overhead as the morning owls entered the Great Hall to deliver the mail. Harry paid little mind to them as he was carefully pretending to listen to Ron and Hermione's brilliantly happy tales of their Christmas holidays. He did stir a little, however, when Hedwig landed in front of him and dropped a tiny piece of parchment in front of him.

Opening the letter, however, Harry's breath caught in his chest and his face shaped into a visible grimace. It was a quickly scrawled letter from Malfoy asking to meet later that day out by the lake. He glanced over at the Slytherin table. Malfoy was staring sullenly into his toast with dead eyes. Harry gritted his teeth and crumpled the letter. Without another word, he got up and left.

He did not look back when Hermione called to him. He did not look back after having bumped into the Creevey brothers and nearly sending them flying across the room. He did not look back for anything. All Harry could do to stop himself from openly hexing everyone in his path was not look back.

What nerve Malfoy had to dare to ask him to meet. After all he had done, after all that had been said and after all the lies, he still thought Harry would willingly meet with him. What a fool.

Harry walked aimlessly through the halls of the castle, unaware of where he might end up and simply needing to walk and get away. He felt all the horrible feelings of anger and pain swell in his chest again, urging him to expulse the negative energy by destroying something. He refrained from doing so, nevertheless, and dropped behind a statue to sit and mull things over. He wanted to calm down. Classes were starting today and he could not afford to allow these things to rule his life, anymore.

Potter groaned softly as he held back both tears and screams, refusing to let himself be overcome by his heartache. He had not told Ron and Hermione about any of it. He had not even told them that his situation had worsened over the break, though he was sure they would find out eventually.

No matter what he did though, his thoughts always came back to the Slytherin. He hated himself for everything that had happened. He hated himself for not knowing better, for not wanting to know any better. He opened the letter and stared at the short message for what seemed to him like an eternity. He almost hoped that there was some hidden message behind the chaste, short words. He almost hoped that if he stared long enough that they letters would rearrange and spell out some kind of apology or explanation, making everything better and washing away the past as something meaningless. He stared but the words did not change. They simply burned themselves into the backs of his retina and imprinted themselves on his brain.

Harry tore the letter to shreds out of anger and frustration, feeling little tears escape his eyes and stream down his face. He couldn't stand it anymore. He wanted to get away, he wanted to escape and never have to face the people he felt that he had let down ever again. He didn't want to have to face his own betrayal every day and certainly did not want to get anymore messages reminding him of it.

Hopefully Malfoy would simply give up if he refused to see him. Perhaps he would be too scared to write again. Harry did have some kind of leverage now, after all.

But he was wrong.

The letters did not stop coming. Every day for the next two weeks, Harry was greeted every morning by Hedwig bearing little pieces of parchment for him. These letters seemed to get more and more desperate as time went on, but Harry refused. He would not see Malfoy. He would not talk to him. He couldn't. He would not put himself in any vulnerable position again.

He would not let Draco kill him again.

Draco sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the ground. The Slytherin dormitories were empty. Everyone had gone to class, but Draco had stayed behind. He couldn't bring himself to try and sit still for that long, pretending to listen, while he wondered all the while whether or not Harry was going to give him away or not. More importantly, he couldn't sit there and allow himself to imagine just how much Potter must hate him now.

Draco bit his tongue to stop himself from yelling and got to his feet to get dressed. He put on some pants and picked up a long-sleeved shirt. Before he put it on, however, he stared at the black mark on his arm once again. He found that lately he had been mesmerized by its presence and could not stop himself from staring at it and wishing he could just cut off his arm.

He tore his eyes from the mark and finished dressing. Draco walked over to the mirror in the corner of the room instead. He stared at himself, searching for something in his own eyes. He didn't know what he was anymore. He felt as though he had been separated into two different people who happened to be living in the same body. As of now, he hated that other half and wished he could kill that person and be free. He knew, however, that this would likely just mean killing himself.

He looked away from his reflection, thinking a bit further on that idea. But before he could even manage to formulate rational thought, he felt something hit his back and felt as though he'd been knocked upside the head by a frying pan. His vision blurred drastically as he felt the ground speed towards him, and then felt nothing at all.

The ambient sounds were muffled and painful to Draco when he awoke. His head felt as though it weighed a ton. He tried to lift it, but managed only to make it loll back and forth over his chest. His arms were heavily bound and hanging apart just above his head. He waited carefully for his vision to focus and his head to clear.

His shirt was in shreds about his torso and his chest and stomach felt as though he'd been trampled by stampeding centaurs. His throat was hoarse and he finally managed to raise his head. Standing before him were the unmistakable figures of his father and McNair. He was sure that there were some other Death-Eaters lingering in the shadows somewhere, but he paid no mind to them, wherever they were. His father's face was sullen and dark, staring at his son. McNair's face was obstructed by a black shroud and he held a long, two-tailed whip in his bony hands.

"I was wondering why it was taking you so long," Draco murmured, his voice broken and rough. "I'd almost thought you weren't coming. But I should have known that you could never pass up a chance to prove your superiority." Draco paid dearly for that remark. With a crack, he felt but did not see the two-tailed whip strike him across the chest. These were magical methods of torture, of course. Draco immediately started to cough, heaving whatever breath was left in his chest, and spat out blood onto the ground beneath him.

"You spiteful little fool," his father spat at him. "You should have known better than to think you could talk to me the way you did and not be punished for your insolence." Malfoy nodded to McNair, who immediately complied and raised his wand to Draco's chest. A vice-grip appeared around the young teenager's mid-section and tightened, crushing the air from Draco's body and allowing him little breathing capabilities. "You have put us all in jeopardy and cannot be allowed to get away with it."

"You realize that if you kill me, he won't be any happier with you," Draco whispered, unable to raise his voice any more. Lucius Malfoy raised his wand at his son and hit him with a spell, knocking his head back and causing his eyes to roll back into his head. He groaned as his dreams became real, though he had experienced them many times before.

"I'm not going to kill you, you idiot." Lucius Malfoy walked towards his son. "You are going to complete your mission whether you like it or not. I will not die because of you." He raised his wand again. "_Imperio!_"

Draco immediately felt his muscles relax and a soothing voice resound in his head, encouraging him to obey and do as he is told. His eyes lost focus briefly before something else jumped to the forefront of his mind. An image of Potter's face just before they had kissed came to him. Draco snapped himself out of his daze and began to fight back against the curse. He clenched his jaw and fought against his own muscles that urged him to comply.

"I will not be a coward like you, anymore," he managed to spit through his teeth, contorting his face in concentration at his father. Lucius Malfoy's eyes widenened and he back-handed his son, knocking Draco unconscious. He removed the shackles and vices around his son's frame and allowed him to drop to the ground in a fallen heap of limbs.

"You will pay for that," he muttered to his son's unconscious figure. "Mark my words; you will not get away with this."

"He hasn't been seen in almost a week!"

"Last I'd even heard anything about him was just before his father showed up with McNair. After his visit, no one knew where he went."

"I don't know what to think, he doesn't disappear like this. Do you suppose it has something to do with his father?"

Harry shut his eyes trying desperately to ignore all the voices around him. The Slytherins were all abuzz with gossip and worry as they spoke of Draco Malfoy's strange disappearance from classes. Harry hadn't seen him in more than a week but he'd just thought that Draco had started avoiding him. He hadn't realized that the Slytherins hadn't even seen him. He began to worry, despite himself, and listen in on the little bits of conversations that he could. He pretended to be focused on his potion while eavesdropping on Pansy's hushed worries.

"I've looked for him everywhere! The hospital wing, all over the castle, the Quidditch pitch, even everywhere I know of on the grounds. He's gone! I wonder if the teachers know…. I bet they would know where he is…" he could hear her muttering to her friends. Harry couldn't control himself.

"What do you think has happened?" he suddenly blurt out, turning to her. He felt his face flush immediately, but shut his mouth and waited for a response as though his interjection had been completely normal. The Slytherin girls simply glared darkly at Harry.

"What's it to you, Potter?" Pansy snapped, unwilling to answer. "I bet you're overjoyed that Draco is missing, aren't you?" Harry said nothing, but turned back to his potion. He didn't really know how to feel. All he could think of were the letters Malfoy had sent him over the previous weeks. He could only bring himself to remember the increasingly desperate wording of the letters and wonder to himself whether he had been, in part, the cause of Draco's disappearance.

But Malfoy deserved it. He deserved whatever he got, he tried to remind himself. He tried to rekindle that feeling of hatred and anger at Draco. He tried to force himself to feel no worry and no concern for the missing Slytherin. He tried hard to pretend as though it did not bother him at all, but Harry was never that good at pretending. He was worried and he could not help himself.

He fought with himself for the rest of the day until dinner, when he decided he couldn't deal with it anymore. He left his plate, uneaten, bid goodnight to his friends and ran back to Gryffindor tower to try and sleep it off.

His dreams were vivid and relentless that night though. He dreamt of Draco. He dreamt of Malfoy holding him and touching him. They were kissing, feeling every part of each other's body, pressing against one another and there was a deep yearning in each of their actions. Harry felt pleasure roll over him in waves as Draco would suck on his neck and grind their hips together. He felt as though nothing bad had happened and they were free to be together and do what they wanted.

But suddenly Draco was pulled away from him. He sank away into darkness and Harry felt alone and cold. He called out for him, his fingers reaching out to grab in the darkness and pull the blonde back to him.

"Draco…. Draco…" he could feel himself murmur in his sleep. He whimpered, seeing nothing but darkness. Then suddenly, Harry felt soft, warm lips press against his own, engulfing his mouth and making him feel again. The kiss broke gently and Harry snapped himself out of sleep, his eyes wide in shock and confusion.

Draco Malfoy was looking down at him, sitting on the edge of his bed.


	9. Chapter 9

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 9

Harry couldn't believe his eyes. He sat upright quickly and put on his glasses to make the image clearer and more real. Draco sat there, on the edge of his bed. He was breathing heavily and his hair was a mess about his face. His eyes were wide and his face looked almost frightened.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Harry yelled, stumbling out of bed. His own breathing sped up and his heart raced. He did not know what else to do.

"Harry please," Draco murmured. There was something wrong with his voice. It was hoarse and broken. Harry could see pale bruises on his face now. His clothes were tattered and looked wet. "Please, give me a chance." Harry reeled in anger.

"What the hell for?!" he yelled back, unwilling to keep it down. He hoped that the rest of Gryffindor house would wake up too. "I gave you a chance and you betrayed me!! Get out! Get out!" Harry picked up his wand and held it at Draco. Malfoy immediately started to move for the door. He ran, much like he had on Christmas day, and Harry followed after him.

"Why won't you just listen to me?!" Draco called back this time. The other boys in the dorms began to rise as well, wondering what all the commotion was. Harry cast a spell at him, but hit the wall.

"Why?! Because you are nothing but a liar and a coward! I have no reason to believe you, you bastard!" he hollered, running down the stairs into the common room. "Why should I trust you now? You said you wanted me dead!! Why should I trust you?!"

Draco skidded and tripped into a wall, narrowly avoiding another hex. The girls were filing down the stairs as well now to see what was going on. Draco was panting.

"You idiot!! You should have known better! You should have known what I was!!" he yelled back at Harry, getting out his own wand in defense. "You should have figured it out sooner before we both ended up this way!!" Harry was ready to throw his wand aside and punch Draco instead.

"So what, it's my fault that you tried to kill me?!" Harry hollered as the common room slowly crowded with all the students trying to figure out what was happening and why there was a Slytherin in their house. Draco's eyes jumped from one person to the next, trying to weigh out his options.

"I never tried to kill you!!" he defended, putting his wand away, realizing that he would sooner be dead than take on all of these Gryffindors.

"You would have!! You were planning to! You said I deserved to die!" Harry yelled, his voice breaking as he tried to hold back tears. Draco shook his head.

"I could never have killed you," he replied, more quietly this time. "Do you really think I wanted it to end up this way?! Why won't you just believe me?" He sounded desperate now. Harry noticed that he was bleeding from somewhere, though he paid no mind to it.

"Sure you didn't want it this way; no one ever wants to get caught!" Harry snapped. "After all I gave, after all that I said and did, you still betrayed me! You continued to play me like a fool! I have no reason to trust you or believe you!!"

"You do have reason to trust me, don't you get it?! Why do you think I came back? Why do you think I sent you those damn messages?!" Draco screamed, the urgency in his tone growing. "Do you really think I'm that stupid?! Do you honestly believe that was all just so I could get you alone to kill you?!" Ron tried to step forwards, but Harry stopped him. None of the other students could understand what was happening. They all stood in shock, watching the scene unfold.

"Then tell me why!! Give me one good reason to believe you!!" Harry demanded, tears streaking his face along with the heat and the sweat from their confrontation.

"Because I love you, you moron!" Draco screamed. He shut his eyes and an expression of great pain drew itself on his features. He lifted his arm and pulled back the sleeve. His forearm was dripping blood from where Draco had clearly tried to cut and burn away the mark that had started this whole mess. Harry's arm dropped to his side. He tried to take in what he was seeing and hearing. He closed his eyes and bit his lip.

"Why should I believe what you say now? How does that change anything?" he asked, his voice much calmer and quieter. Draco's bleeding arm was dripping onto the floor.

"Because I told them the truth," he answered. Harry wasn't sure who the boy meant by 'them'. "I told them and I refused to do what they want me to and now they are going to kill me. They are going to kill me and I need your help…. I need you." His voice became quiet and pained. Harry's heart was fighting hard against his brain. He couldn't stand to be at odds with himself.

"Why should I help you?" he asked, his own face full of tears and his voice cracking.

"Because I love you, and I've told you in front of everyone, and I don't care. I love you and I don't know what to do," he murmured, falling to his knees from the exertions. "My father did this to me," he said, pulling off his shirt to show Harry the extensive wounds on his torso. "he did this to me…. I love you, Harry Potter…. I love you and I don't know what to do…. I don't know what to do…."

Harry felt all the anger wash away from him in the face of Draco's weakness. He let the tears flow freely down his face now, unable to stop himself. He thought he wanted to stay mad at Draco for the rest of his life but now that he was faced with all this he found that he couldn't do it.

"Harry, what the hell is going on?" Ron demanded. But Harry wasn't listening. He stepped towards Draco and kneeled down. He lifted Draco's face to stare into his eyes but he said nothing. Instead, he simply pulled Draco into a kiss.

Draco's heart raced as Harry stood before him, his eyes so full of sadness and pain that Draco knew he himself had caused. He was prepared for the worst when Potter pulled him close and pressed their lips together, in front of all of the students of his house. It was as though in that one small action, everything had changed and they didn't have to care anymore. It was as though Draco no longer had to fear anything and he was fully accepted by Harry and nothing else mattered.

They sat kissing for a long while before Harry pulled away and brought him to his feet. Draco watched him as the boy conjured bandages for his arm and picked up his shirt. The whole of the Gryffindor house watched in mute shock, unable to process what was happening.

"Harry, you don't seriously bel-" Ron began, but Harry turned around and shot him a look. He cut his sentence short in confusion and stared at his best friend.

"I'm taking him to Dumbledore. You should all go to sleep," he advised, looking around the room. "I won't be back for a while. Sorry to have woken you all up." Without another word, he lead Draco out of the portrait hole and down, through the castle to the entrance to Dumbledore's office.

"You don't believe me…" Draco mumbled as they stood in front of the statue of a phoenix. Harry shook his head.

"I don't have any real reason to believe you," he began, bringing his hand up to caress Draco's cheek. "But I do believe you, despite myself. I'm taking you to Dumbledore because he is the only protection I can offer you. As long as he believes you, you will be safe…. And you can be with me…" Draco nodded to him and tentatively kissed the Gryffindor before him. Harry accepted and pulled into it, wanting to feel Draco's body pressed against him again.

"I love you," Draco whispered again when Harry broke their embrace. "I really, really do." He leaned in to kiss Harry again, but the other boy stopped him. His face was pained and worried.

"Not now," he murmured as though it was taking all of his determination to stop himself. "We need to talk to Dumbledore." Draco swallowed hard and nodded in agreement. Harry whispered the password and immediately the statue sprung to life and stepped aside, allowing them entrance into the Headmaster's office.

"Professor, we need your help," Harry began slowly, once Dumbledore had opened the door for them. He seemed only mildly surprised to see the two said enemies standing side by side.

"Come in Harry, Draco," he told them, motioning for them to enter. "What is the problem?" Draco's eyes were cast downwards. He could not look into the Headmaster's eyes, not right now.

"Draco needs the protection of the Order," Harry stated rather blatantly. Draco looked up quickly. He was confused and a little apprehensive. His fear must have shown on his face because Harry immediately touched his arm softly in reassurance. Dumbledore looked thoughtfully at the both of them.

"That is a serious request," he began. "You must know the dangers of asking something so serious in the presence of a non-member. Harry, what is so urgent?" Potter nodded to him.

"He is a Death-Eater and…" Harry did not know how to continue. Draco stepped up.

"Maybe I should tell you the whole story," he suggested. Dumbledore nodded to him and called up two chairs for them to sit. Draco took his seat and stared at the floor for a long moment.

"Take your time," the Headmaster assured him. Malfoy took a deep breath and began.

"In the summer of our fourth year, You-Know-Who came back to power, just like I'm sure you knew." Draco looked from Harry to Dumbledore. "My father was called to his side and immediately returned to his services. Once that happened, they decided that it would be a good idea to have young recruits among their forces. They wanted to have students inside Hogwarts to gather inside information and so that they might infiltrate the school more easily. Naturally, my father was the first to offer me up as a sacrifice.

"I was naive and impressionable. I thought I wanted to follow in my father's footsteps, to keep up the Malfoy name and bring pride to my family. I was stupid. I signed up willingly and began training with my father and some of the other senior Death-Eaters. I learned, along with several other students, many advanced and terrible curses. They taught us the Unforgivable curses as well and told us to practice on one another so that we might perfect them. Naturally we didn't practice the killing curse on one another. We practiced that one small farm animals at first. We never made the move up to humans.

"By last summer I had finished my training and was formally inducted into their ranks. I was branded with the Dark Mark," he said, undoing the bandages that Harry had placed upon him to prove his point. "And I was made into a full Death-Eater. Just before school began, I was given my appointment to meet with the Dark Lord himself and receive my task.

"It was only when I got to the waiting room before I was to meet him that I came into any realization as to what was happening. There had been so much security and preparation just to get me to the meeting place. I wish I could tell you where it was and where he has his base, or whatever, but I'm afraid I was magically bound and blindfolded. I can only describe the rooms I was in to you.

"In any case, I didn't have much time to come to terms with what I had become before I was ushered into a small dark room. I was surrounded by other Death-Eaters, all wearing black cloaks and masks, and I stood before You-Know-Who himself. I followed the instructions I was given in how to address him and look at him. I was not to look into his face unless told to do so. I was not to even look up at him at all unless told to. I was to treat him like a god, generally.

"He began with a spiel about loyalty and his impending rise to power and how all his followers will be well rewarded for their contribution to his end and how he would not tolerate betrayal. He spoke of several instances where Death-Eaters had rejected their position and fled the Dark Lord but were always caught and killed in the end. It was a rather intimidating speech and, now that I think of it, probably largely meant to brainwash me in some way.

"After this whole ritual, he presented me with my task." Draco stopped here, hesitant to continue and fully reveal what it was he was supposed to do in front of Harry. Dumbledore nodded to him, taking in all the information.

"What was your task, then, Draco?" the Headmaster asked finally. Draco swallowed and looked away from Harry.

"I was to get close to Harry Potter, by whatever means necessary, and gain his trust so that I might lead him into a trap set by the Dark Lord and, ultimately, to his death." Draco fell very silent after this and refused to look at Harry at all. He felt ashamed and afraid.

"I see, though as you are both here right now, asking for my help, I assume something has occurred that has given you a change of heart." It was really a question, though it did not sound like one at all. Draco nodded slowly.

"I went about my mission determinately at first," he began again, this time with more difficulty. "I…. chose a rather unorthodox way of approaching Harry and I managed to slowly bring him to trust me… well sort of." Dumbledore made a gesture of understanding.

"I see, then what changed?" Draco paused for a moment. He did not know whether he felt comfortable admitting this to the Headmaster, though he knew he had no choice.

"I fell in love with him," he answered quietly. "And then Harry found out I was a Death-Eater. He pushed me away, naturally. He would refuse to see me at all. I realized the truth about myself during that time, mind you. I realized that I was more bothered by how much I knew I had hurt him than by how I had screwed up my plan.

"I told my father that I was not going to go through with my task and that Harry knew I was a Death-Eater. I told him that I wanted no more part in the whole thing. He showed up to Hogwarts a week and a half ago with McNair. They caught me and chained me up in some kind of room. They tortured me for a while and tried to use the Imperius curse on me. They tried to force me to go through with my mission, but I fought back and the curse broke. I told my father that I would not be like him anymore. He attacked me again and let me drop to the floor. I don't really remember what happened after that, I blacked out.

"When I woke up, my mark had turned red. I was told that means that I'm a traitor and will eventually be killed. I…." Draco paused, clutching his bleeding arm, rather ashamed of his reaction. "I tried to cut it off…. It didn't work. It just started bleeding a lot. I tried to burn it too. To make it into a different shape or destroy the magic behind it or something. I don't know what I was thinking, really. That didn't work either though. After that I ran to the only place I could think. I ran to the only person who might believe me and want to protect me…I ran to Harry."

"I brought him to you, Professor," Harry added, his voice quiet and calm. "I thought that if anyone could keep him safe, you could." Dumbledore gazed quietly at the two of them for a long moment before getting to his feet.

"Mr. Malfoy I believe you are in some serious trouble," he stated. Draco got up as well, almost afraid he was going to be handed over to the Ministry. "It is hard, in this war of wizards, to know who is genuine in their requests and who is simply abusing of the kindness of the good. However, just as I saw something different in Professor Snape's eyes when he came to me for help, I have seen something in yours. I shall set up the proper arrangements to allow you entrance into the Order. We will do all we can to protect you, Draco. I believe that is something that Voldemort would not afford his own followers." Dumbledore smiled at Draco to reassure him. He smiled back at the Headmaster and nodded. "As for tonight, I do not think you should stay in your dorm."

"He can stay with me, Professor," Harry tempted, though he flushed a soft pink in doing so. Dumbledore gave him a strange but bemused look from over his half-moon spectacles.

"No, Harry, the houses are too obvious. That and we cannot be putting all the other students in jeopardy." Dumbledore looked at the clock. "I believe tonight you should stay in the room of Requirement, Draco." Harry's eyes widened. "I believe Harry here knows this room well and can lead you there easily enough. I will set up special protections around the room for the night, though it is already exceedingly safe."

"Thank you very much, Professor," Draco bowed his head to the old wizard. Dumbledore nodded to him and ushered them out of the room.

"Draco, do you mind waiting out here for a moment while I have a word with Harry?" Draco nodded and waited outside the door.

"Thank you, professor… I realize that this is a lot to ask for your protection on such short notice," Harry said, a little embarrassed. "I know it must also be hard to believe given so little proof and all." Dumbledore put a reassuring hand on Harry's shoulder.

"All the proof I needed was presented to me right here," he said. Harry looked up, confused.

"So you believe him, just like that?" Dumbledore smiled.

"It is not so much that I believe Mr. Malfoy so easily, but I believe that you would never offer such protection and care to someone you honestly believed would hurt you so deeply as Draco claimed he was supposed to." Harry looked confused. "Indeed, after all he has done to you, after how deeply he betrayed your trust, you still brought him to me in an effort to save his life. I do not take that kind of gesture lightly."

"So, you are offering to protect him because of me?" Harry asked, unable to mask his blush.

"I'm not actually protecting him at all," Dumbledore admitted happily. "I'm simply offering him a safe place to stay, away from his father and his pursuers." Harry opened his mouth several times to say something, but couldn't find the words.

"But, then what's protecting him from Voldemort?" Dumbledore smiled knowingly.

"You, Harry, should know better than anyone that the strongest protection is not anything the average witch or wizard can perform with a wand, but in fact something that comes from much deeper inside; a much more ancient magic."

"Professor…" Harry started.

"You are protecting him, Harry. You are protecting him by loving him, despite your better judgment, despite your hurt, despite your logic. You are protecting him better than I ever could."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, again! I love getting them! Here is some long-deserved graphic love again. Chapter 11 coming soon as well! I hope you enjoy!

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 10

Draco waited patiently in front of Dumbledore's office for Potter to come join him and lead him to the Room of Requirement. There was something terribly comforting about being on Dumbledore's side instead of against him. As a Death-Eater, there was a constant fear of backstabbing and manipulation. It was impossible to tell whether the people you kept as company were your allies or would betray you and kill you in the end. There was the constant need to look at everyone and anyone as a possible threat and yet, at the same time, they were all inferior. Draco had not enjoyed that constant paranoia and now found that he much preferred to worry about being killed by his own father while under Dumbledore's protection than to have to worry about being found out and being against Dumbledore.

"Goodnight Professor," Harry's voice came as he left the office and joined Draco in the hall. There was a strange expression on his face that Draco could not quite read. He stopped in front of the Slytherin and simply stared at him for a few moments.

"I… I told him all I can remember," he explained. He had never felt as vulnerable in front of anyone as he did at that moment in front of Harry. The Gryffindor smiled meekly at him and looked away.

"We should get you to the Room of Requirement," he said. Draco nodded and followed him as he started through the halls towards this special room. They walked mostly in silence. Perhaps it was because Harry was trying to take in everything that had been said. Perhaps it was because Harry still couldn't bring himself to forgive Draco. Perhaps it was because Draco was afraid of all these things. Perhaps it was a bit of all these reasons.

He took no notice of where they were going, but simply watched Harry as they moved. He wanted nothing more than to push him up against the wall and strip him right then and there, but he was in uncharted waters now. He had never been in a situation like this. He had never been indebted to anyone or anything. He had never needed to be protected before.

Before he had even realized what had happened, Draco found himself standing in a room that he'd never seen before, without any real door. A large bed suddenly materialized in the corner, complete with sheets, cover and bed hangings. A mirror and his trunk also materialized out of nowhere in front of them. Then the room seemed to shrink until it was the size of a normal bedroom.

Draco looked around in amazement. He was not new to any of the hidden possibilities of the magical world, but even he managed to be amazed every so often by its surprises. Harry smiled a bit at the Slytherin's surprise.

"This room provides you with whatever it is you need at any given time. I discovered it last year and it has come in very handy since," Harry explained quietly. "Well….goodnight I guess." He made a movement to leave.

"Wh-… you aren't staying??" Draco asked, suddenly very scared. He did not feel comfortable sleeping in a completely random room all alone. Harry stopped in his tracks. His face was slightly pink.

"Do you need me to stay?" he asked. Draco shut his mouth. He did not like to admit to needing anyone and he had already done much of that already that day.

"I'm Draco Malfoy," he said flatly. "I don't _need_ you to stay, no. I can take care of myself." Harry cocked his eyebrows.

"Oh really?" Harry asked, mildly amused at Draco's attempt to regain his dignity. "Then that whole display earlier in Gryffindor Tower, that wasn't need, simply your way of getting people to respect you?" Draco frowned.

"I don't know what you are talking about," he claimed, looking away and wishing desperately that he didn't have to be so bloody stupid sometimes. Harry, however, continued to play his game. He took a step towards Draco.

"Oh, you remember," Harry said off-handedly. "When you cried out for me and admitted desperately to my entire house that you love me and need me." Harry smirked at him and stepped even closer. Draco watched him, his mouth shut, taking in every inch of the mischievous expression Harry was giving him.

"You must be mistaken, Potter," he protested, refusing to let down his quite fake façade. "I think you've been fantasizing about me again. It's really not healthy you know." He tried to be unmoved but his voice betrayed him as it faltered in his words. Harry smiled and licked his lips.

"Well, maybe you're right," Harry conceded. He shrugged, unfazed by the comment. Draco did not like that he seemed to have lost some of his previous steely drawl. "But, then again, if it had been my fantasy, it would have turned out much different." Draco's eyes widened and he took a step towards Harry as well, the distance between them closing quickly.

"Really? What would have been different about it?" Draco asked suggestively. Harry shrugged.

"Well, first off," he said, removing his own shirt carefully and tossing it to the side. "There would have been no clothes involved." Draco swallowed and removed his own shirt, following Harry's example. Harry's torso was perfect and clean. His own torso was bruised and cut. Harry's eyes roved from one wound to the next.

"What else?" Draco asked, pulling his attention away from his wounds. Harry smirked and licked his lips. Draco tried to keep his breathing steady.

"Well, you would be pressing me against the bed," Harry explained, his voice deep and seductive. Draco licked his lips, listening intently. "You would be running your tongue down my chest and pressing your hips into mine." He proceeded to run his own hands over his chest, touching his nipples and forcing Draco to bite his tongue. He stepped closer to Harry, leaving less than a foot between them.

"And?" Draco pressed on, still refusing to touch Harry. He smirked.

"Then you would move your way down and undo my pants with your teeth," Harry continued, his voice now no louder than a whisper. He ran his hands over his thighs and shut his eyes for a moment. Draco watched, unable to slow his excitement. "And you would pull them off and throw them away." Harry fingered his belt and carefully removed it. "Then you would tease me with your tongue, because I'm kinky like that. You'd tie my hands, maybe…. And press me down. You would turn me over and push into me hard, because I don't belong on top. You would suck on my neck and make me call out your name, pushing until I was done. And you'd do it again and again…"

Draco stared at him, the pictures of Harry's fantasy coming to life in his mind and he knew Harry could see it too. He had wanted this for so long and had been so afraid that he had ruined it for both of them. He had been so afraid that Harry would never want to be touched by him again. He could do nothing but stare at Potter now, wanting so badly to make his fantasy come to life.

"But, that's just my fantasy," Harry shrugged. "You are right, I need to stop. It's not healthy for me to think of such things. I'll just leave you to sleep now." Harry turned and bent over to pick up his shirt.

Draco did not wait. He caught Harry around the middle and pressed his hips into Harry's back, causing the Gryffindor to straighten quickly. Draco pressed himself against Harry's back more fully, running his hands down the boy's front. He suckled softly on the back of Potter's neck and smiled.

"Maybe I should make your fantasy come true," he whispered to Harry. "You do seem to need someone to put you in your proper place." Harry arched his neck to accommodate Draco's kisses.

"And what place is that?" Harry asked, grasping Draco's arms to encourage him. Draco smirked into Harry's neck.

"Under me."

Harry smiled to himself at Draco's reply. He was glad that the Slytherin had become comfortable with him again. He couldn't help but love that cocky, smooth Draco. He allowed himself to be pressed into the wall while Draco ground into him, carefully massaging his chest. Draco was sucking on the supple flesh at Harry's neck, surely leaving little red marks all along his way. Harry sucked on his lower lip, wanting to forget everything that had happened before.

"So you do love me, then?" Harry asked, a coy smile on his face. Draco stopped and turned Harry so that they were face to face. He smiled.

"I love you," he answered. He kissed Harry hungrily, pushing his tongue into the boy's mouth. He pulled Harry to himself, groping at his butt. Draco led Potter carefully to the bed to push him into the mattress. Harry grabbed Draco's arms trying to pull him back into a kiss but Draco shook his head at him with a smirk.

Draco kissed him lightly on the lips and began to move down his chest. He sucked on Harry's nipples for a moment, giving each their proper attention. Harry watched him, smiling and quite happy as Draco followed his description. He ran his hands down Draco's back, almost encouraging him to move down.

Draco traced a trail of kisses down the middle of Harry's stomach and stopping at his pants. He looked up at Potter with a sly smirk and started pulling at the button of his jeans with his teeth. Harry felt his excitement rise as he watched Malfoy undress him so seductively. The blonde used his tongue to lift the zipper and pulled it down to undo his pants fully. Harry arched his back as his lover pulled off his pants and his boxers, leaving him naked and vulnerable under him. Draco smiled.

"What?" Harry asked him, after Draco had stared at him for a few moments. Malfoy laughed and kissed him.

"I had to remind myself that you want me," he mumbled, nuzzling Harry for a moment. "It's hard for me to believe sometimes…" Harry's heart skipped. He had never heard Draco say anything like that before. He pulled Draco into a deep kiss, letting himself be flooded by the feeling. Draco pressed into him and they sat there for a moment, in each other's embrace, unwilling to let go.

"I love you, Draco," Harry whispered, pulling away from the kiss to look into the silver eyes. Draco smiled with something almost akin to sadness.

"I'm sorry for betraying you," he murmured, needing to say it. Harry nodded and kissed him again. "I'm sorry, that wasn't part of your fantasy…" Harry laughed.

"I doesn't matter," Harry whispered. "That doesn't mean anything, but you do." Draco shook his head.

"I'm going to make you forget your fantasies," he kissed Harry softly. "I promise you, you will not forget tonight." Harry smirked. He did not doubt for a moment Draco's words.

Draco went back to his work and began running his tongue very softly along Harry's shaft, planting little kisses along the way. He would stop every few moments to keep Harry calm. His hands pulled Harry's legs apart slowly, massaging his inner thighs as he did so. His lips found their way to the base of Harry's length and began to suck slowly, carefully moving up every few moments. Harry arched his back and shut his eyes as Draco teased him, drawing little circles with his fingertips along the side of Harry's pride.

Malfoy smirked and pulled away, his thumbs massaging the area around Potter's entrance. He watched like a predator as Harry moaned softly, enjoying every moment of it. Draco smiled and sucked on the tip of Harry's erection and slowly allowed his mouth to engulf the whole of it, sucking gently.

"Ah!" Potter gasped, his hands encouraging Draco's movements. Malfoy stopped, however, not wanting Harry to be spent too quickly. He pulled away and leaned back over to kiss his lover on the mouth. Harry pulled him acceptingly, wanting to taste Draco again. He had never felt this good before, though he had an idea why.

"You need to help me out," Draco whispered to him. Harry raised an eyebrow. Draco gestured to his own erection. "To make it go in easier." Harry smiled and laughed a bit.

"The amazing Draco Malfoy needs help?" Harry mused, poking fun at the Slytherin. Draco smirked and shrugged.

"I can do it like this, but you won't be able to walk right tomorrow," he threatened. Harry pushed Draco onto his back with a smile. Draco, however, gasped in pain. His wounds were still fresh. Harry got to his knees quickly and kissed Draco.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. Draco shook his head and smiled.

"It's ok. Now get to work," he ordered. Harry bit Draco's lower lip and sucked on it for a moment before obeying and removing Draco's pants; then he covered Draco's length with his mouth. He massaged the shaft with his tongue and sucked hard, trying to bring Malfoy to his level of excitement. Draco moaned in pleasure as Harry 'helped him out'.

"Good enough?" Harry asked coyly, pulling away before Draco got too excited. Malfoy licked his lips and nodded to the Gryffindor.

"Now on your knees and bend over," he ordered Harry quite maliciously. Harry snickered.

"Make me," he retorted, sticking out his tongue like a petulant child. Draco caught Potter's tongue in his teeth and sucked on it for a moment before forcibly turning him over to lean against the headboard.

"And since you need to be punished," Draco said, pulling Harry's arms back. He picked up a pair of handcuffs that materialized (quite fortunately) next to him and cuffed Harry's hands so that they were attached behind Draco's back, holding the two of them together. Harry gasped as he was forced against Malfoy.

Draco smiled and positioned himself carefully before pushing hard into Harry, without warning and without mind to how fast Harry might let go. He gyrated into Harry, wrapping his arms around the Gryffindor and cupping his length in his hands to help him along. Harry moaned loudly. He shut his eyes and clenched his fists, pushing hard into Draco's back.

Malfoy moved faster and faster, pushing in and pulling out hard to increase the pleasure. The blonde nibbled on the back of Potter's earlobe as he did so, making Harry scream out in pleasure.

"Say my name, Potter," Draco demanded, whispering into Harry's ear. "Say my name and tell me if you want it." Harry could hardly process rational thought as he was overcome with the sensations in strong waves.

"Ah, Draco, yes!" He screamed, while Malfoy sucked on his neck and pumped harder and faster. "Yes, Draco, yes!!" Harry screamed louder, moaning in between his words and lacking in breath.

"Harry, say it again," he demanded, unable to speak properly now too. Draco could hardly breathe, feeling the heat of their two bodies and the incredible tightness around his own erection now.

"Yes, yes…. Ahh, Draco!" Harry gasped hitting his climax and feeling a powerful explosion behind his eyes and below his waist. Draco moaned loudly as he hit his own break and a burst of warm fluid filled Harry. Draco kissed Harry's jaw and undid the handcuffs. Harry fell forwards immediately and tried to steady himself with his hands. Draco leaned over and kissed his lover's back. He tried to pull out when Harry stopped him.

"Don't!' Harry ordered. Draco looked at him in a dazed confusion. "I told you I wanted you to do it again and again." Draco's eyes widened and he felt himself stiffen again. He rolled his eyes in pleasure at the feeling of being inside Harry.

"Already, are you sure?" he asked, his own breathing still heavy. Harry was sticky and wet from their first run. Harry nodded, his eyes half-lidded. Draco smiled and turned him over, making sure not to pull out as he did so. He looked down at Potter's pride and realized that he was excited again as well. Draco smirked and kissed the boy he loved. "As you wish."


	11. Chapter 11

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 11

The sun rose quietly in the distance and filled the small room with blinding white light. Draco followed the stream of light with his eyes from the tiny opening in the drawn bed hangings to Harry's sleeping body. The Gryffindor had fallen asleep cuddled up to Draco after the night's exertions. Malfoy brushed a lock of hair away from his lover's face to reveal the thin scar on his forehead. He ran and thin finger over the old wound and then brought his attention to his own wounds.

His arm had stopped bleeding and the cuts began to heal slowly. He frowned at the sight of it because his mark was once again visible through it all. His bruises were also less prominent as they had been before, though he still looked as though he'd been the victim of multiple stampedes. Draco cared little for these things now, however, in light of where he found himself.

Harry stirred a little next to him and pulled his hold on Draco tighter. He really was beautiful when he slept. Malfoy would never admit that to him, mind you. At least not any time soon. He needed to keep up some of his cold temperament.

"Mm," Harry mumbled, bringing his hands to his eyes to block out the sunlight. "Whassat?"

"It's called the sun," Draco jeered softly, pulling Harry close to him. Harry made a strange face and buried himself in Draco's neck. "Good morning to you too."

Harry made a snickering sound from his position and ran his hand down Draco's front, teasing him happily without opening his eyes. Draco made some incomprehensible sounds and pulled Harry's arm up, turning him onto his side to face him.

"I think we should get up," he whispered. Harry finally opened his eyes to look at the blonde. He smirked and kissed him gently.

"Good morning," he finally said.

Draco sat up and shook his head of sleep. He ran his fingers through his silver-blonde hair and shot Harry a sidelong glance. He was lying, completely uncovered, in a very seductive position. Malfoy laughed to himself wondering if Harry ever got tired of it.

"Are you perpetually randy, or something?" he mused, staring at Harry's naked body. Potter sat up and wrapped his legs around Draco's waist.

"You did this to me," he admitted, kissing the back of the Slytherin's neck. "Not my bloody fault you chose this way to get close to me."

Draco frowned slightly, wishing that the circumstances of their relationship had been different to start with. He turned to the Gryffindor and ran his fingers through the boy's hair.

"How was I to know you'd turn into a shag fiend," he laughed. "I guess I underestimated my own irresistibility."

"Oh, right," Harry snorted. "Like you've ever had anything but overly high opinion of yourself."

"I have my moments," Draco conceded. He kissed Harry and turned to get out of bed and get dressed. Harry followed suit.

"You had several last night, if I'm not mistaken," he reminded the Slytherin while he dressed himself.

"I told you you would never forget it," Draco said. He glanced around the room for his belt before finding it hanging from one of the bedposts.

"I hate to admit it but you did keep your word," Harry answered. "I guess now I have to do the same for you."

"What do you mean by that?" Draco turned to him, a sly smirk on his pale features.

"That depends, what's your fantasy?" Harry asked, holding his shirt in his hands.

"You'll have to figure it out on your own." Draco put on his shirt and shrugged at Harry.

"I'll accept that challenge," he answered as he finished clothing himself. They got the rest of their stuff together and left the Room of Requirement only to bump straight into Dumbledore, who was waiting patiently outside in the hall for them.

"Good morning, boys," he greeted with a pleasant smile. "I take it you had a good night's sleep?"

"Yes, Professor, thank you," Draco responded immediately. His mind whizzed over the images from the night and he laughed to himself realizing that they had slept very little at all.

"Very good," the old wizard answered with a small smile. "I have made all the arrangements for you to take up residence at the Order Headquarters. You will have to leave today, mind you."

"But, the school year isn't over," Harry interjected, rather displeased that he would have to let Draco go alone to Number Twelve.

"I realize that that may seem worrisome," Dumbledore admitted. He gazed at the two of them over his half-moon spectacles. "Though naturally you both will receive passing marks for all your classes and allowed leave from the school until September."

"What?" Potter asked, rather abruptly. "I'm going too?"

"Why yes, of course," the Headmaster explained. "As I explained last night, you are Draco's protection. It would be illogical for me to send him there alone. That and it is probably safer to have you under the protections of the Order as well."

"But, Ron and Hermione," Harry began, still confused. He could tell that Draco was also a little apprehensive about the whole thing.

"You will have ample amount of time to explain it all to them now, before you leave." Dumbledore checked his strange pocket watch. "You will have to meet Professor Snape just outside the castle gates at noon, so I suggest you hurry up."

"Professor Snape??" Harry was disbelieving. "Why?"

"He is your guide to the headquarters. I cannot send you off alone and Professor Snape has business with the Order today. It works out rather well, actually."

Harry opened his mouth to argue but thought better of it at the look that the Headmaster gave him. Dumbledore bid them a safe trip and allowed them to return to Gryffindor Tower. They made their way back through the castle in silence, both rather worried about what lay ahead. Draco did not know how to feel about what was going to happen.

He would likely feel very out of place being a Death-Eater amidst the Order of the Phoenix.

------------------------------------------------

Harry knew that Draco must be feeling very nervous about going to the Order headquarters but he could not reassure him at the moment. He was too busy trying to figure out just what he was going to tell Ron and Hermione to convince them not only that Draco was good, but that he wasn't totally insane.

They stepped through the portrait hole to find that most of the sixth year Gryffindors were sitting in the common room, mainly still in their pajamas. Harry stopped dead, realizing that they had probably waited all night for him to return and explain.

"Er, good morning," he said quietly, walking over to sit on one of the couches. They did not seem pleased.

"Harry what took you? We've been waiting all night!" Hermione's voice was clearly tired and worried. He frowned.

"I told you I would be a while," he defended. Then Harry realized that Draco was still standing in the entranceway, apprehensive about entering the common room with all these other Gryffindors there. "Come in, Malfoy. Have a seat." Harry waved him in.

Draco stiffened and walked forwards very carefully, his face set and expressionless. He looked very much like a Malfoy as he tried to sit down with as much dignity as was possible when one sank two feet into the cushions. Harry snickered a bit as Draco's face flushed pink and he cast his eyes downwards.

"Harry, what the bloody hell is going on?" Ron finally spoke. His eyes were trained on the Slytherin sitting before them.

"It's a rather long story," he began, not really in the mood to retell the whole thing. "Draco here is in need of the protection of the Order so now Dumbledore has set it up so he and I are going back to headquarters to stay there for the rest of the year."

"Why does he need the protection of the Order??" Hermione demanded, looking to Malfoy with mixed worry and distrust. Ron was more concerned with something else.

"_Draco??_" he spluttered, his face contorting into a strange grimace. Harry ignored him.

"Voldemort is after him and wants to kill him," he answered Hermione. She gasped softly, clearly torn between hating the Slytherin and feeling sorry for him.

"Malfoy? You-Know-Who wants to kill a Malfoy??" Ginny piped in, staring at Draco disbelievingly. "Why?"

"_Draco???_" Ron continued, ignoring every other comment.

"Because," Draco said softly, refusing to look at anyone but Harry. "I am a Death-Eater and I have deserted my position."

Everyone stared at the blonde sitting among them. Even Ron gave up his shocked revulsion to stare at Draco, open-mouthed and incredulous. Harry frowned, wishing that Draco had not been so honest with them. Malfoy did not seem fazed at all by their reactions, mind you. He stayed quite calm and looked only at Harry.

"Why the hell is the Order protecting him then??" Ron spat, feeling very much out of the loop.

"He just told you, they want to kill him!" Hermione answered, clearly miffed that Ron was so slow. Harry rolled his eyes.

"But he's a Death-Eater! Why should we believe him?" the red-head retorted angrily.

"Because I do," Harry answered, his voice full of frustration. "And because Dumbledore does. That should be enough." Ron shut his mouth and sat back in his chair.

"But Harry," Hermione said slowly. "Why do you need to go with him?"

"Because I'm actually his protection," he murmured in response. "And Dumbledore thinks it'll be safer for me there anyway, for now."

The students present clearly did not know what to make of the whole situation. They looked from Harry to Draco and back again, many times before anyone was capable of saying anything more. It was Hermione who spoke first.

"Should we come with you too? Since you both clearly need to be safe," she suggested shyly. "It couldn't hurt, could it?" Harry stared at her. She was actually suggesting skipping three months of school. Willingly.

"Don't be silly, Hermione," Ron answered, giving her a strange look. "How can we protect them any better than the Order or even Dumbledore can?"

"Well we've been there to help Harry in the past," she defended. "I just don't think it's safe for them to stay alone in the headquarters away from Dumbledore! At least if we were there they'd have some extra comfort!"

"Hermione is right," Ginny agreed. "We should be able to go with them! Harry can't be expected to defend Draco all on his own _and_ save the world! He needs help too!"

"_DRACO???"_ Ron snapped, still in utter disbelief over what was happening. From the look of shock on Draco's face, he had similar feelings as Ron did.

"Look, I don't think Dumbledore has planned for you to come too," Harry admitted. "At least not today. Maybe you should talk to him and figure something out. I don't know what's going on any more than you do now."

"Alright, Harry," Hermione replied quietly, picking up on the tone of his voice. "We'll talk to Dumbledore. Maybe we can come later, or something." Harry nodded to her.

"There's still something I don't understand," Ron stated, exasperated. "Why are you his protection, Harry?" He pointed at Draco, who clearly did not appreciate his use of words.

"Because," Harry hesitated. "I love him."


	12. Chapter 12

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 12

The scene before Draco unfolded very quickly and to his great surprise. He sat, motionless and aghast as Granger and the Weasleys reacted to Harry's words. He had expected the Gryffindors to explode in some kind of fit of fury and revulsion at Potter's admission, but, for the most part, it had happened nothing like that at all.

"Oh, Harry," Granger had gasped, getting to her feet and immediately running over to hug him. The Weasley girl seemed shocked at first but quickly forsook that expression for one of utter brilliance, beaming at Potter and following Hermione's suit.

"Uh," Harry began, rather startled by the reaction he'd gotten. He stared at Draco over Hermione's shoulders.

"You…what?" Ron asked, staring at nothing as he appeared to be attempting to process the information. Hermione let go of Harry to allow him to speak.

"I love him," Harry repeated carefully, without trying to patronize his best friend at all. Draco waited for the bomb to fall. His fingers twitched, fearing he might have to go for his wand. Ron was silent for quite a while.

"Are you sure?" he finally asked. Harry simply nodded to him. Ron did not look angry, nor did he look particularly pleased. "But, Malfoy… really?" Draco frowned.

"You are more bothered by him loving _me_ than by the fact that he is in love with a man?" Draco finally spoke, rather insulted at the suggestion.

"Well, yeah," Ron answered, as though it was logical. Everyone in the room gaped at him. He sensed their confusion and shrugged. "Look, I'm not saying I'm totally comfortable with the idea that my best mate might get hot over a bloke, but honestly if he's going to pick a bloke, I figured it would be someone….else."

"What's wrong with me?" Draco protested, rather insulted that he might not be good enough for Harry.

"Look, you just haven't been the greatest person to anyone sitting in this room right now," he explained. Ron seemed still unsure of whether or not to trust Draco.

"He does have a point," Ginny pointed out. Draco's face turned stony. "But Harry loves you anyway, so if you can change his mind, there is no reason for us not to give you the benefit of the doubt." She walked over to Draco and hesitated a moment before wrapping her arms around him in a hug.

Draco was speechless and the expression on his face, along with his inability to move, conveyed his feelings quite clearly to the rest of the room. Ginny let go of him and sat down next to him, as if to prove to him that she was willing to accept him and be friendly. Draco was still unable to move or speak. He was staring at Harry as though expecting him to explain more fully.

"M-…Er, Draco," Hermione stuttered. She was still clearly uncomfortable around him, but wanted to make the best of things. "I hope you have a safe trip and we'll do our best to come stay with you both as soon as possible." She smiled and nodded at him.

"Well, we should get going," Harry said, getting to his feet. Malfoy was still motionless in shock but forced himself to snap out of it and get to his feet as well.

"Uh, thank you," he finally said to Hermione. He nodded to her and walked over to Harry. The others all got up and walked over to bid them goodbye.

"Take care, ok?" Ginny told them, hugging them both in turn. Draco rather admired that she had no reservations in her actions and stood by them.

"Yes, be careful and write us, will you?" Hermione added, hugging Harry. She turned to Draco, wavering for a moment before hugging him goodbye as well.

"Safe trip, mate," Ron told Harry, giving him a friendly hug goodbye. He turned to Draco and took his hand in friendship. "I'm giving you a chance for Harry's sake," he told Malfoy. "But if you ever do anything that might even suggest betrayal, I will kill you myself."

Draco was rather surprised at Weasley's words, but after all that had happened, he did not take them lightly. He nodded to the red-head and followed Harry out the portrait hole.

They walked down through the halls of the castle in some silence. When they reached the entrance way, however, Harry stopped Draco and pulled him into a brisk kiss. Malfoy reciprocated happily though when they broke away, he gave Potter a confused look.

"My friends accepted," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "I thought they would hate you but they don't and even Ron is giving you a chance. I'm just glad that I can love you more openly now."

Draco said nothing, but smiled opening the doors for the Gryffindor. At the edge of the grounds, just outside the entrance Gates, they spotted Professor Snape standing rather disgruntled as he waited for them. They approached quickly and stopped in front of him, without saying a word. Snape gave them both a look of displeasure and sneered.

"Interesting company you choose to keep, Malfoy," he spat, looking Harry up and down. "No doubt your father's proud."

Harry grimaced at Snape's comment and wanted to snap back at him. He did not appreciate the insinuation and refused to take it for even a moment. Snape claimed he had chosen Dumbledore's side but comments he made like this one made Harry reconsider. He was about to answer when Draco spoke.

"My father," he said silkily, with as much disdain as he could put into two words. "Is a coward and judging by the company he himself keeps, I'd say that this is a rather fine improvement."

Harry gaped at Draco. The blonde was giving Snape a death glare worthy of Voldemort himself. Snape grimaced at them both and huffed, leading them down the path to a secluded area surrounded by trees. Harry had the unnerving feeling that he was leading them to their deaths by the way Snape was walking. Snape stopped next to a tree and turned abruptly, holding out what looked like a moldy old muggle newspaper.

"Both of you are late so I'll have to reactivate the portkey myself," he spat, touching the tip of his want to the paper. "Hold onto it, you fools."

"But, Sir," Harry said, trying to forget the comment from before. "What about our clothes and trunks?"

"They have already been transported to Headquarters," he snapped in reply. "Professor Dumbledore made sure of it, now touch the damn newspaper, Potter!"

Harry and Draco both grabbed onto the paper. Harry suddenly felt a familiar tugging sensation behind his navel as they were propelled magically off through the air and towards Number Twelve Grimmauld Place.

When the portkey reached its destination, Harry was reminded of why he hated that mode of transportation as he was thrown awkwardly to the ground and fell to his knees. Draco and Snape had both managed to stay standing. Malfoy held out a hand to help him to his feet while Snape smirked at his fall.

He led them both through the old doors of Number Twelve and into the Order of the Phoenix headquarters. Draco looked about himself, trying to figure out where he was or understand his surroundings. Harry eyed him carefully as they stepped into the house.

"Harry!" a familiar and friendly voice greeted him. Remus Lupin stood in the doorway to welcome him in. Lupin's face was tired and grey. Harry understood the feeling and could sympathize with his ex-professor. Lupin had taken Sirius' death almost as hard as he himself had. "Welcome, welcome! Oh and Mr. Malfoy! Nice to see you again, I hope you find it comfortable here. I daresay this kind of house is similar to the kind you've lived in. Well, excepting the fact that this one is rather ancient now."

Lupin ushered them in, through the hallway and out of the entrance. He gestured for them to go into the kitchen for some breakfast while he talked urgently and secretively with Professor Snape, who did not seem at all pleased to see him.

"This is the werewolf's house??" Draco whispered dramatically to Harry, looking bak over his shoulder at Lupin. Potter frowned at him.

"He does have a name," Harry snapped. "Remus is very important to me and I would appreciate it if you gave him the proper respect. Furthermore, this is not his house."

"Sorry," he answered, slightly put out. He cast his eyes away from Harry momentarily, wishing he could hold his tongue better. "But whose house is this then?"

"Si-… This is my house, now," Harry answered, almost having forgotten that Sirius had left it to him. Draco seemed rather shocked.

"I didn't know you owned a house," he admitted.

"It was left to me," Harry explained. "by my godfather. It's been in his family for ages but he was killed and left everything to me."

"Who was your godfather?" Draco seemed rather confused.

"Sirius Black." Harry looked away, his eyes roving over every wall and corner of the house, feeling Sirius all around him. "This house is the legacy of the Black family… alone with a few other things."

"Your godfather was Sirius Black?" Draco asked. He thought on the name for a moment. "The murderer that escaped from Azkaban?"

"He was _not_ a murderer!" Harry snapped, still touchy about the subject. "He was framed."

"I'm sorry," Draco repeated. He seemed very uncomfortable making Harry angry. "I didn't know. That name seems familiar though… Black I mean. Where do I know it?"

"You're kidding, right? Your mother was a Black." Harry stared at Draco.

"My...mother," Draco mumbled, thinking momentarily of her. He never had any kind of great relationship with her. He also wasn't surprised he didn't know they were related. Despite his father's best efforts, he knew little of his own lineage. Only the basics and only that the future of the Malfoy family depended on him. "She was a Black. What else do you know?"

"The Blacks were a pure-blood family and damn proud of it," Harry answered, remembering what Sirius had told him. "The lot of them were in Slytherin and many of their children were Death-Eaters. Some still are."

"What? Who?" the blonde demanded, cocking an eyebrow.

"Here, I'll show you." Harry lead him into the living room and over to the wall. There hung a massive and very intricate tapestry of the Black family tree. There were names and dates upon it for each of the family members. Some family members names seemed to be honored in colour or special font. Some seemed to be cast aside. Draco observed the lower branches where the younger Blacks were listed. His fingers stopped on several names though two were particularly familiar.

"Regulus Black," he muttered. "I don't know him, but I'm sure I've heard that name."

"Perhaps during Voldemort's rant about traitors and loyalty," Harry suggested wisely. "He was a Death-Eater for some time and pride of the Black family, until he rejected Voldemort and fled. He was killed soon after."

"You know a lot about this family, but they aren't even your own," Draco remarked, looking at Harry. "I know nothing and am supposedly cousins with them."

"He was my family," Harry whispered sadly. "He was all the family I had left. He was my father's best friend."

"But I thought you said he was a Slytherin." Draco did not understand.

"No, Sirius was outcast in his family because he was a Gryffindor," Harry was getting mildly impatient, though he did enjoy talking about his godfather. It reminded him of Sirius a lot and reassured him. Draco nodded and turned his attention back to the tapestry. His finger fell on a different name next to that of his mother's.

"Bellatrix Lestrange," he mumbled. "I know her…"

"Yes," Harry suddenly said through gritted teeth. The expression on his face was angry and hateful. "She is a Death-Eater to this day. And your aunt, I believe."

"Yes… I suppose she is…Do you hate her because she is a Death-Eater?" Draco asked, noticing Harry's sudden boiling anger. 

"No, I hate her because she killed Sirius." He spoke with pure conviction and loathing. "And one day, I'm going to repay her the favor."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to everyone for the lovely reviews! Posting chapters 12 and 13, I hope you like them as well!


	13. Chapter 13

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 13

Draco was rather taken aback by Harry's sudden promise. He had never heard Potter ever condone murder or promise to commit one. He felt a tingle of mute excitement at the glimmer of this darker side of Harry Potter. Yet something still bothered him. He himself was a Death-Eater still, no matter whether he acted like one or not. He wondered if Harry harbored this same hatred, at least in some measure, for him as well. He wondered whether the Gryffindor would ever be able to fully trust him, knowing where he came from and what he was.

"Oh Harry!" a bright and bubbly voice came from the doorway. "It's so wonderful to see you again! How have you been?" A very strange young woman entered the room, happily waving her arms about for Harry. Her hair was short and a neon pink colour. It almost offended his person in its brightness but Harry seemed happy to see her so Draco decided to hold his tongue.

"Tonks! Hey," Harry greeted, accepting her welcoming hug. "I'm doing alright."

"Wonderful," she replied. "Remus told me that you will be staying with us for a while along with…" Trailing off her sentence, the woman identified as 'Tonks' suddenly turned and opened her mouth at Draco, as though only just noticing his presence.

"This is Draco Malfoy," Harry introduced, sensing confusion. "He's with me and yeah, we're staying here for a while." He nodded to Malfoy, who was entirely lost as to how to react.

"Hello," he decided to try, holding his hand out to greet her. Tonks chose a different way.

"Oh, Draco!" she exclaimed, as though just remembering his name. She wrapped her arms around him as well. Draco decided that she was obviously far too easily excited and decided to keep his distance in normal circumstances. He was not comfortable around overly perky people. "Nice to meet you. I'm Nymphadora Tonks."

"Pleasure," Draco murmured. The name seemed familiar for some reason now. He glanced back at the Black Family tapestry and his keen eyes found her name amongst the end branches. She giggled from behind him.

"I'm part of the Black family too, yes," she said smiling, though Draco could see a cover of sadness shield her eyes. He assumed that she was cousins with Sirius and so was also dealing with his loss. His thoughts drifted back to Bellatrix Lestrange, who was kith and kin to these people who were so important to Harry. She was their cousin and yet she killed Sirius and embraced Voldemort instead. He was kith and kin to that and he could not stand it.

"Er, is there any lunch?" Harry asked, wanting to break up the awkward silence that surrounded them now.

"Ah yes! Remus prepared some food for you in the kitchen," she informed them. "I have some Order business to take care of right now but you go on in and serve yourselves. I'll be in there in a moment to tell you about your room arrangements and all."

Harry nodded to her and led Draco into the room across the hall. He did not spend much time taking in the décor of the room. Once he got in there and smelled the prepared food, he realized just how hungry he was. Harry got some plates for them both and they served themselves of the dishes set out before them on the counter.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked, noticing Draco's distraction as they ate. The blonde looked up.

"Nothing, I was just thinking about everything you said in there," he admitted subtly.

"What in particular," Harry pressed, picking at his vegetables.

"About what you said about Bellatrix Lestrange," he mumbled, his face dark. Harry said nothing. "You harbor such harsh feelings towards her and I've never seen you so angry at anyone before. I've never heard you threaten to kill someone and know that you really meant it."

"I told you why I hate her," Harry replied quietly. He did not look at Draco. "I know she's your aunt, but too many people have been taken from me and I've never been able to do anything about it. She should suffer for what she has done. I feel the same way about Peter Pettigrew for betraying my parents. I will kill those I have to kill in the end to destroy Voldemort and make all his bloody followers pay. You should understand that."

"That's just it," Draco admitted. He looked away and stared at his forearm. "You hate all of his followers and yet, like it or not, I'm still among those people. I'm still a Death-Eater. And I was born of that. What does that mean about me?"

"I…" Harry started. He was staring at Draco, unsure of what to say. "You've renounced being a Death-Eater though. You have the mark but you aren't a part of them. Are you?"

"I'll always be a Death-Eater," Draco answered. He choked on his words and clenched his jaw. "I hate it but I cannot deny it. I can never be clean of what I've done…no matter how much good I try to do in return."

"You aren't like them though," Harry protested, placing a hand on Draco's arm. "You don't know Bellatrix and those kinds. You haven't done the kinds of terrible things they have. You never will be like them."

"I do know her," Draco finally admitted. He turned to Harry, his eyes glazed in sadness and regret. "She was my main mentor while I trained to become a Death-Eater. I'd never met her until then, but I know my parents have mentioned her." He stopped for a moment to look away, unable to hold Harry's gaze.

"Draco," Harry whispered, but Malfoy shook his head.

"She taught me the Unforgivable Curses," he continued. "She is the one who first made me feel the Cruciatus curse. She is the one who brought out the anger in me that caused me to use in on the other Slytherins in training." He shut his eyes, not wanting to see the images in his mind of those he once called his friends writhing on the ground from his own spell. "I have seen what they are like and I have done terrible things."

"Draco," Harry whispered to him, moving closer to him. "They abused of their power. They put you in a position where you wanted to vent your anger and take it out on whoever was closest. I know how that feels. I've used the Cruciatus curse before too." Harry admitted his crimes to Draco, hoping to quell his worry and his pain. He had used the curse before on Bellatrix herself. He would have done it again and again without remorse if he had been given the chance.

"She said I was a 'natural'," the blonde answered back, angry with himself. "Harry, there is nothing I can do about it, I am my father's son and my aunt's nephew and I always will be. Nothing will change that. I'm going to end up as cruel and heartless as they all are…eventually." He stared at Potter, pearly tears falling silently from his eyes. "What will happen when that comes true? What will you do, Harry?"

"Draco, you are not doomed to become your family," Harry argued, not entirely sure of what he was saying. "You chose to be different. Look at Sirius! He chose to take a different path and ended up nothing like his family at all. Tonks did as well! Her cousins are Death-Eaters and she's an Auror." He grabbed Malfoy's arm and pulled him closer. "You will not be your father's son and you are nothing like any of those cowards who follow Voldemort."

"How can you know that?" Malfoy grimaced from his frustration. He could see that Harry was fighting tooth and nail for him and yet he could not understand why.

"I could not possibly love a Death-Eater," Potter replied with no hesitation. "I could not love you if I knew you were like them. But I never stopped loving you even when you broke my heart and when I wanted to hate you. I couldn't. I know that you are different than your father, Draco. I know it and you will have to trust that I know what I'm talking about. I've dealt with enough dark wizards and enough mistaken identities to be able to tell."

"Harry, you haven't yet seen the darkest side of me," Draco told him honestly. He revealed his burning red mark to Harry as he spoke. "And I'm afraid of what is going to happen when this finally takes over and turns me into the animal I was born and trained to be."

Harry stared at the dark mark that tainted Draco's otherwise perfect porcelain skin. He felt a burning hatred suddenly for Draco's father. He breathed heavily and tried to understand why any man would do anything like this to their son. He could not imagine why any parent would sacrifice their child to the devil and claim that it was the child's fault. He cracked his fingers under the table for a moment as the anger coursed through him.

"Draco, listen to me," he ordered quietly. Harry's eyes were set and his expression was stony. "I will be next to you no matter what. I will protect you and you don't have to be scared anymore, alright? Just don't doubt me and promise me that you won't go back to them because you think it's where you deserve to be. Promise me."

"I… I promise," Draco answered finally. He stared deep into Potter's eyes as he agreed and felt himself calm down. No one had ever promised him loyalty like that and he wasn't sure how to react.

Harry sighed heavily, feeling a great sense of relief. He tried to forget all his anger and frustration. He leaned in to kiss Draco, wanting to be close to him and taste him again to rid himself of the negative feelings. He stopped suddenly, however, when Tonks opened the kitchen door and walked in to sit with them.

"I hope you are enjoying your lunch, boys!" She sat down happily at the table and picked up a piece of bread from the basket in the centre of the table. "Now, about your rooms," she began, pointing to the air as though to indicate the subject. "Dumbledore explained your predicament to us and so, due to the situation, we decided that it was probably best you both stay in the same room. The problem was, however, that most of the rooms are rather small for two teenaged boys to live in for three months or whatever. So, we decided to give you the master bedroom upstairs. It's slightly larger than the rest so you'll both fit in nicely, but there's one other problem." She took a moment to take a bite out of the bread. "The room only has one bed in it. Now, it's large enough for two to sleep in –it's a queen sized bed after all –but if you don't feel comfortable like that, we can change the bed and give you two singles, though that will take a week or so. So what'll it be?"

"The one bed should be fine, I think," Harry answered with a small, coy smile. "We wouldn't want to be any trouble."

"I suppose I can rough it and share a bed with you, Potter," Draco drawled, languidly retrieving his natural tone. There was, however, a hint of amusement in his words.

"Great! Well all your stuff is already up there, so you can go up when you like!" Tonks mussed Harry's hair happily as she spoke then went off to take care of some more Order business and left them to their lunches.

Harry and Draco both finished their food quickly and quietly. They cleaned their plates and headed off to the upper floor to seek out their room. Harry led the way, while Draco took in the details of the house. There were large dark rectangular marks on the walls where paintings must have once hung. The walls were bare now, however, except for a choice few paintings of still life.

"Why are there no paintings anymore?" Draco asked, rather confused. Harry laughed.

"They wouldn't stop yelling at everyone who passed by about how we were traitors and intruders in their sacred pure-blood home," he snickered. "They were particularly vocal about Sirius and I so eventually I think Remus got sick of them and tossed them into Kreacher's room."

"Who is Kreacher?" Malfoy asked, becoming more and more aware of just how strange this house was. 

"He's S-…well, he's my house-elf now, I suppose." Harry shrugged. "He doesn't like me much and won't really listen to me though."

"Why not? He's a house-elf, he has no choice," Draco spat rather snobbishly.

"I'm not a Black," Potter admitted. "He doesn't have any reason to want to obey me except that he is bound to the Black family and Sirius left him to me."

"Call him," Draco ordered, frowning. He did not appreciate disobedience from subordinates, ever. He was a Malfoy, that is how he was raised.

"Kreacher!" Harry called out, shrugging. With only minor delay, a small wrinkled house-elf popped into the hallway before them. He gave Harry a dirty look as he clutched the old pair of slacks that hung over his shoulders, no doubt belonging to Sirius' father.

"What?" he asked, showing Harry no respect at all. Draco glared.

"You will show your master proper respect, you worthless little servant," Draco ordered, his voice strong and demanding without being loud. Kreacher gave Malfoy a glimmering look of acceptance and bowed his head before the blonde.

"Yes, Sir," he said, fully compliant. "Is there anything Sir would like?" Harry was bewildered.

"What, can you _smell_ Slytherins or something??" he asked the house-elf in disbelief. "He's only part Black!"

"Apologize to your master, elf," Draco ordered, pointing at Harry.

"Kreacher asks your forgiveness, Sir. Kreacher was rude and out of place, Sir," He bantered, bowing his head at Harry. Potter stared, his eyes wide and incredulous.

"Alright," he answered. "That's all, Kreacher. You can go now." The house-elf bowed very low to them both and disappeared in an instant. "Apparently, he likes you," Potter laughed to Draco. "At least maybe he'll listen to me now."

"He has no right to be so disrespectful," Malfoy spat, disgusted with the idea of servants disobeying. "He should be groveling at your feet in thanks for keeping him when you have no reason to."

"Right," Harry muttered, still laughing about the whole thing. They stopped before an old black wooden door with a brass handle. "This is us I think."

They stepped inside to find a rather spacious but sparsely decorated room with dark wooden walls in keeping with the rest of the house and a beautiful old carpet covering the wooden floors. The large bed against the far wall of the room was covered in a thick green blanket and the bed hanging bore the Black family crest. The windows were wide and bright to the right and there was a small closet to the left of the bed. As they stepped in, they noticed a few strange items that seemed rather out of place.

There was some rope curled in the corner next to the fireplace, along with some leather straps that Harry did not dare inspect. In the closet there was a basket full of sheets and a number of wooden clothes pins.

"Some strange things in this room," Harry remarked, noticing that the drawers of the bedside tables had padlocks on them. "I don't really know what they are all doing in here." 

"Oh, I've got a fair few ideas as to what they might be useful for." Draco smirked devilishly at Harry and stepped over to the bed.


	14. Chapter 14

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 14

Harry watched Malfoy walk over to the bed and sit down. He waited there patiently, a seductive smile in place on his pale features. Potter shut and locked the door to their room and stepped towards Draco. He pressed himself between Draco's legs so that their hips pressed together sensually.

"So, tell me, Draco," he whispered, playing with the collar on Malfoy's shirt. "What is your fantasy?"

"Look around you, Potter," he answered. His voice drawled but his eyes were full of mischief. "I'm not going to tell you so you will just have to get creative, won't you?"

Harry grinned and pushed Malfoy backwards onto the mattress. He leaned over him and kissed him deeply, pushing his tongue through Draco's lips and exploring his mouth. Potter carefully removed Draco's shirt as he kissed him and then moved on to removing his pants. Malfoy did not protest and simply allowed himself to be undressed while relishing every moment of their embrace. Potter pulled away once he had fully disrobed his lover. Then he brought Draco's hands up to the bedposts at the head of the bed and tied one wrist to each in turn, using the rope from the corner.

"So, Malfoy," Harry snickered, carefully teasing the now incapacitated Slytherin. "What shall we do with all these things?" He gestured around the room and snickered.

"As I said, Potter," the blonde answered, seeming rather unimpressed. "Be creative."

Harry shrugged and walked over to the basket of clothespins and picked up a few. He then collected the other odd objects from around the room and sat himself between Draco's legs on the large bed. He picked up each object, one by one and held them up, considering each for its possible use.

Deciding that it was foremost important that he be at least half-naked while this was going on, Harry removed his own shirt and belt, to make things more comfortable for himself. He then picked up two of the clothespins and bent over his lover with a very malicious smile.

"Do you think we should use a silencing charm?" he whispered, kissing Malfoy softly on the neck.

"No, that'll be part of the challenge," Draco answered. He wiggled his eyebrows at Harry, who laughed and shook his head.

"It wasn't me that I was worried about," he said, massaging Draco's nipples carefully.

Once they were fully erected, he placed a clothespin on each in turn, causing Draco to whimper and squirm. Harry engulfed Draco's mouth in a kiss before the blonde had a chance to make any noise. He sucked on his lover's tongue and pinched the clothespins tighter. Malfoy tried to make some kind of sound but it was muffled by their kiss. He smiled into their kiss and twisted the pins gently. Draco's noises became louder and louder through a mixture of pain and pleasure.

"Should I stop?" Harry whispered in Draco's ear, letting the Slytherin breathe momentarily.

"N-no…" he answered breathily. Malfoy's face was red and he was breathing hard.

"Good," Harry told him. He leaned back, leaving the pins where they were and picking up a different object. He chose an old leather band.

Smiling darkly, Harry leaned over and licked Draco's length, happily teasing him further. He kissed the shaft before taking the whole of it into his mouth to deep-throat his lover. Potter sucked hard and long, all the while tying the piece of leather around the base of Draco's erection and forcing it to stay that way.

Draco moaned while Harry tortured him. His legs squirmed and he clenched his fists, desperately trying to stop himself from screaming at the top of his lungs, demanding more despite the pain. Potter did not let up until Draco had exploded in his mouth. He pulled away, swallowing some of the sticky white liquid. He kept his mouth shut, smiling to himself as Draco's erection could not go away.

He leaned over the Slytherin again and kissed him, forcing him to taste himself. Harry massaged Draco's inner-thighs, bringing him back up to full excitement so that they could continue with their little game. Potter nibbled on his lower lip and inhaled Draco's scent.

"You enjoying this, Malfoy?" he whispered, unzipping his own pants. "Did you like tasting yourself? Are you ready for more?"

"Ah, yes…" he mumbled back to Harry, his energy already spent. "Yes, more…"'

Harry was mildly surprised at Draco's compliance in the face of his dominance. He smiled and kissed his lover lightly on the lips, as though to show him that he did indeed love him. Harry then picked out two more strips of leather and tied one over Malfoy's eyes to blindfold him. The second piece, he used to gag Draco and leave him completely helpless.

"This is what you want," he whispered to his lover. "I'll give you your wildest fantasy…I love you, Draco." Harry kissed Draco once more and pulled off his own pants.

He carefully stroked his own erection and spat into his hand several times to make it smoother. He then positioned himself beneath Draco and pushed into him quickly. Draco made a loud noise through his gag, though it was impossible to tell whether it was from pain or pleasure. Harry pulled Malfoy's buttocks apart and thrust in and out, again and again, listening closely for Draco's vocal responses. Malfoy's body quivered under Harry's thrusts and he bent his knees to make it easier for the Gryffindor to enter him.

Draco arched his back and succumbed to Harry's dominance, allowing himself to be penetrated again and again. Harry could tell that the Slytherin's erection was becoming painful, however, as it twitched and threatened to reach its peak once more. Harry moaned, despite himself. The vision of Draco beneath him was more of a turn on than he would have thought. He felt himself come close to his climax and pressed harder and faster into his lover.

Draco tried to speak or yell through his gag but all that escaped his mouth were incomprehensible noises that only served to add to Harry's excitement. Draco finally screamed out and climaxed for a second time, this time covering himself in his own semen. Harry let himself finish as well and erupted inside of Draco, filling him with warm liquid.

Looking down at Draco's length, Harry noticed that the leather band was working well and kept him erected and relatively hard. He pulled out and gave them both a moment to recover. During this time he mopped up the mess that Draco had made of himself with a soft cloth he had found on the bedside table.

"Maybe I do belong on top," Potter mumbled to Draco. "Sometimes."

Draco said nothing owing to the fact that he couldn't. Instead, he laughed and shook his head, still blindfolded. Harry frowned and massaged Draco's pride, coaxing it back to full stiffness. He smirked at Draco's inability to be submissive by choice.

He carefully licked Draco's length again, this time for a different purpose. When he judged it was wet enough, he lifted himself over his lover and allowed Draco to penetrate him. They both moaned in response to the action, though Draco had not seen it coming.

Potter lifted and pressed back down onto Draco's erection in a continuous motion, allowing the Slytherin to penetrate him fully. Little tears were streaking Draco's face from beneath the blindfold from the intense pleasure he felt. Harry wiped them away and kissed him over the gag, still gyrating over him.

"Ah, Draco.." he whispered, knowing that Malfoy could not reply. "Ngh…yess…"

Harry carefully undid the leather band at the base of Draco's shaft, to allow him to finish fully this time. They climaxed together and Harry relished in the feeling of being filled by his lover. He kept moving until they were both completely spent, then stopped with Draco still inside him. He mustered all the energy he had left to removed the clothespins, the blindfold and the gag. He threw the objects aside before undoing the ropes that bound Draco's arms to the bedposts and finally allowed Malfoy to pull out.

Harry then collapsed onto the blonde. His eyes were half-lidded and he pressed his naked body against that of his lover. Draco happily pulled him close and held him tightly.

Draco kissed Harry's forehead lightly, feeling elated and fully satisfied. Potter had come up with many interesting uses for all of the items. Draco was impressed and rather amused that one of his most secret fantasies had actually been fleshed out.

"I have to say, Potter," Draco mumbled to him, running his fingers through the black hair. "You are damn good at what you do."

"So can I be on top sometimes?" he asked with a hopeful smile.

"Not as long as I've got control of my arms," Draco mocked. He nuzzled Harry's hair quietly.

"Well, I do love it when you push me down," Potter admitted, closing his eyes.

"I told you that's where you belong," Draco jeered, rubbing his back softly. "Though I didn't know you could be so sadistic." He motioned to his very red nipples.

"You told me to be creative," Harry laughed, kissing Draco's raw nipples. "Though I don't know why all these things were in here to begin with."

"I guess the Black family has more secrets than you thought," Draco muttered, staring at the crest on the beg hangings.

"Hey," Harry said, his eyes perking up. "How is it you know so little about your family? You didn't even know your mother was a Black, once."

"Well, you may have noticed," Draco answered quietly. "That I tend to have a slight problem with authority." Harry laughed. "That didn't stop at school. I liked to talk back to my father and so he gave up on trying to teach me anything. He would rarely talk to me at all unless he had to. And I've never had a great relationship with my mother. I know that she is very protective of me, but I was always in seclusion at home."

"Why? House too big?" Harry mocked.

"Don't be stupid, Potter," Draco snapped. "I just spent most of my time in my own wing, leaving my father to his business and my mother generally stayed with my father. In fact, I don't know her well at all."

"I know how you feel there," Harry whispered, thinking of his own parents.

"No, I don't think so," Draco argued. "You didn't get to know your parents much because they were killed. But you had plenty of their friends and loved ones tell you everything they could. You probably know more about your family than I do about mine but mine are still alive. It was just always so cold in the Malfoy Manor. Everyone was alienated from one another and we lived our own separate lives. I have so few memories of family moments."

"Well, what do you remember?" Harry sat up, his eyes sad and caring. Draco stared at the boy, wishing he knew what it felt like to be in a loving environment. Maybe if he knew that, he would be able to be sad about the family life he had had.

"The last time I remember seeing my mother at all," he started, flipping through the pages of his memory. "Was when she walked into my room one day when I was eleven." Draco stared at the ceiling. "I was with a childhood friend. He was so much different than all the other kids I had met and he was a mudblo-… I mean muggle-born. My parents were furious. My mother hasn't talked to me since, I think."

"All because he was muggle-born??" Harry demanded in disgust. Draco shook his head.

"No, it was because she walked in on us kissing."


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I am disappointed to say that I due to school and such I will not be able to post again before wednesday at the earliest, but I will post again soon. Also there, I was asked how long they will be spending at Grimmauld Place... actually most of the rest of the fic takes place there (but not exactly, ehehe). Once this one is finished, I am also going to start another Harry/Draco fiction which will take place after book 6. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 15

Harry stared at Draco for a good long time before he could come up with anything suitable to say. He was completely unaware of any of these aspects of Malfoy's life and wished he had known in the past. At least some of them helped to explain why he had always been so rude and altogether nasty.

"You…were kissing this boy…" he repeated quite needlessly. "You were eleven?"

"Yes," Draco answered flatly. He had not told anyone of this memory before now. "I don't remember why. I didn't feel anything for him. At least I don't think so… it was all so fast and I really just had an impulse. My mother wouldn't look at me for weeks. My father… well, he did as he saw fit, which is never a good thing."

"What did your father do to you?" Harry asked, pulling Draco closer to him. He caressed Malfoy's face with his fingertips, wanting him to feel loved.

"He gave me a lashing," Draco answered, emotionless. "Said it was to 'knock the pansy' out of me or something equally as foolish. After that he started impressing on me the importance of maintaining the Malfoy family line."

"Your father needs to get his head rearranged," Harry muttered, gritting his teeth and holding Draco more tightly.

"Added him to your list, have you?" he murmured. "Good thing too, because you are likely on his."

"Did your father know what you were doing to get close to me?" Harry asked with a sly smirk.

"Are you bloody mad?" Draco looked at Harry with wide eyes. "I'm not stupid. You-Know-Who said 'by whatever means necessary'. So I did what first came to mind. My father didn't ask questions and I never found it necessary to explain it to him."

"Does he have any idea as to why you turned your back on them? Or where you went?" Harry lifted his head slightly, to get a better look at the Slytherin.

"I doubt it," he mumbled, not too sure of his response. "But he'll probably get the idea soon enough. He is sadly well-connected and it won't take long for him to find out I've joined your side instead."

"Well he won't find you here," Potter said defiantly. "This house is unplottable and there are tons of spells and enchantments around it to protect it. You are safe… safe with me."

The Gryffindor smiled and kissed Malfoy happily. They held each other for some time and drifted off to sleep.

Draco screamed. He felt terrible white hot pain in his nerves and screamed again. He held up his wand and called out curse after curse at the black shadowy figures that approached him and began their assault. He did everything he could to throw these masked figures from him. He cursed again and again, his wand burning into his hand from the magic. They were gaining upon him and more and more of them were bringing him down. They would float like Dementors but he knew that they were very human.

"CRUCIO!" Draco's voice rang out in the impenetrable darkness. Suddenly there was a crash and a scream to his left. Draco sat bolt upright in bed. He was hyperventilating and shaking, a cold sweat covering his body. It took him a moment to realize where he was and what was happening before he noticed that Harry was no longer in bed next to him.

He panicked and got out of bed but before he went far he spotted Harry's shaking figure on the ground next to the wall. His eyes were wide and frightened and he couldn't seem to move.

"Harry!" Draco called, reaching down to help him up. Potter's skin was burning and he started coughing up blood. Draco pulled him close and held him, trying to calm him down. He ran his fingers through the boy's hair and whispered soft words to him. He kissed Potter's forehead and got him partially dressed. "Come on, I'll get you some water, you're burning."

Harry followed Draco down the stairs and into the kitchen. The blonde served him a glass of cool water and helped him finish it slowly. Harry was still staring at him, speechless and confused. Draco did not understand.

"What happened, Harry?" he asked, brushing hair out of his lover's face.

"You… you cursed me and then threw me against the wall," Potter whispered to him quietly. He was still shaking.

"I what?" Draco asked, his pupils dilating and a strange shiver running up his spine.

"I don't know why or how you did it," Harry continued. Draco noticed some tears mingled with the sweat on his face. "But you were screaming and thrashing in your sleep… you were screaming curses and then all of a sudden you had your wand. Your arms and legs were thrashing all around and you screamed the Cruciatus curse and it hit me. I screamed and then you threw me out of bed against the wall. I fell to the ground and the curse stopped but I couldn't breathe…"

"Harry…. I…" Draco didn't know what to say. He wasn't aware that he was actually acting out what was happening in his dream. He wanted to scream and to cry, staring into Harry's eyes, knowing that he had done such a horrible thing to him. "I don't know why I did that… I was dreaming… I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I told you I was dangerous…" He babbled frantically. He held his head in his hands and screwed up his eyes, trying not to cry.

"Draco," Harry whispered calmly to him. He felt Potter's hand on his shoulder. "Draco, it's alright… it was a nightmare. Draco you aren't dangerous, you just… you were acting out in your sleep, it happens!" Harry's voice was frantic as well. He seemed to be searching for whatever defense or explanation he could.

"No, Harry," Draco told him. "It doesn't just happen. You can't sleep in the same bed as me anymore… I might do something terrible to you. Even more terrible. I'll just tell Lupin-"

"No, you will not," Harry ordered. He pulled Draco to him and refused to let go. "You are not changing rooms and you are not going to sleep anywhere but next to me. I don't bloody care what you say. You are not dangerous and we'll just give you sleeping potions or something to help with the dreams. Draco, please."

"Harry, what if I hurt you worse than I just did?" he whispered. He curled up in Potter's arms.

"You won't," he answered. "I'm alright. It was an accident..just… what were you dreaming of?"

"I was being attacked," he whispered, remembering the horrifying images. "By Death-Eaters. They were all attacking at once. I was trying to curse them and fend them off…they jumped me and I was trying to throw them off…I guess I just acted it out on you. I'm so sorry…"

"It's alright," he reassured. "It's alright, you'll be alright." Harry rocked back and forth, rubbing Malfoy's back. "We'll be alright…"

For the following weeks Harry and Draco spent their time during the days with either Tonks or Lupin. They decided, after Dumbledore suggested it, that it would be a good idea for Harry and Draco to learn to defend themselves properly in a duel. Lupin would set them up in one of the larger rooms of the house and clear all the furniture to make it easier for them.

Occasionally other ministry wizards who were members of the Order would show up with news or different leads on Voldemort's whereabouts, or possible new Death-Eaters or even possible targets for attacks. They would pay little mind to Harry and Draco unless they noticed who Harry was, at which point they all saw fit to go shake his hand and say hello.

Arthur Weasley also stopped by on several occasions with great platters of food from Molly and occasionally some sweaters for Harry and Draco. Surprisingly, the first encounter between Malfoy and Mr. Weasley turned out rather well. Draco was very polite and did not seem to want to look Arthur in the eyes. Mr. Weasley seemed rather taken aback by this. Harry explained their situation to him, after which Molly began sending Draco the sweaters. Malfoy didn't seem too enthusiastic about wearing them, but was politely appreciative.

Lupin was their mentor more than anyone else, however. Tonks only replaced him when he was needed by the Order or when it came time for the full moon. Draco had never witnessed one of his transformations until one night, when he ventured downstairs for a glass of water and found a rather strange looking wolf sitting at the kitchen table. Lupin had simply looked up at him, nodded and sauntered off in a different direction.

"Alright, boys," Remus began happily, pulling his wand and rolling up his sleeves. His face was ragged from the recent transformation but his eyes were sparkling. "Today I'll teach you a useful little shield charm that will repel most simple curses and hexes. Ready?"

They had been practicing this simple charm for what seemed like hours as Lupin sent simple hexes at them. Harry was doing marvelously well but Draco seemed to be having some trouble with it. He couldn't understand why they were wasting their time learning that.

"You need to be able to defend yourselves," Lupin wisely explained to him. "The time will come when you two need to face dark wizards who will intend to do serious harm to you and you need to be able to protect yourselves in such a circumstance."

"If we come up against dark wizards, they are definitely not going to be using things like the jelly-legs hex on us and that little shield of yours will be completely useless," Draco pointed out. "What is Harry to do when he comes up against You-Know-Who? What is he supposed to do in the face of the Killing curse? Put up a shield and hope that it misses him??"

"Draco, please, you need to start with the basics," Lupin replied calmly. "You must learn to crawl before you can walk and walk before you can fly."

"Well alright, I guess you're right," Draco agreed sarcastically. "Harry you'll just have to tell the Dark Lord to go easy on you because you are still learning." He shook his head in frustration and bit his tongue for a moment. "Look, I just don't see why we're wasting our time with _defenses_ at all. If we are meant to take on Death-Eaters then we aren't going to have time to defend ourselves. What's Harry to do with defense spells when facing the Dark Lord? Shield him to death??"

"What do you propose we do then, Draco?" Lupin asked sadly.

"Teach him curses! Teach him how to attack!" Malfoy exclaimed as though it was obvious. "There will come a time when we are all faced with the decision of whether to kill or be killed. If you don't equip him with what he needs to do that, how can you think that Harry stands a chance at all? Do you really want to send him into a war against the greatest dark wizard of all time with only the basics??"

"Draco…" Harry began, clearly feeling uncomfortable.

"No, Harry you don't understand," he said flatly. "You don't think like a dark wizard. I do! I think like a Death-Eater, I talk like a Death-Eater and when it comes down to it, I'm going to end up acting like a Death-Eater!"

"Draco, please calm down," Lupin asked carefully. He seemed concerned for Draco's mental state.

"You just don't get it," he pressed on. "There is no in-between for them. There is no stunning or hexing. There will be nothing but Unforgivable Curses flying back and forth and unless Harry learns to use them, he will not survive. They teach you that there are only two options, kill or be killed, because there is no going back. None. And I don't know about you, but I'm not about to let him go on a suicide mission!"

Draco did not wait for an answer. He ran from the room and back upstairs to their bedroom. He slammed the door behind him, breathing heavily and wanting to punch something. He had let his temper get the best of him and felt terrible about it but something was bothering him even more.

More and more he thought of how Harry was going to have to face Voldemort all on his own and attempt to stop him. He didn't know if Harry was at all aware of the fact that he was saddled with the responsibility to kill someone. Whether he liked it or not, he was going to have to use one of the Unforgivable curses and he was going to have to kill Voldemort. He made many threats on the lives of those that have betrayed him and his loved ones, but did he really understand what it meant? Did he realize that he was going to have to watch the life leave the eyes of these people and know forever that he was the cause?

And in the end, when all was said and done, would anyone blame Harry? Would he be held accountable for these deaths? Would anyone dare and accuse him of any crime? What was to become of Harry Potter when it was all over? What was to become of them?

"Argh, I don't belong here!" Draco screamed, removing the sweater that Mrs. Weasley had knitted for him and throwing it aside. "I can't bring myself to think like they do… I can't even bring myself to understand why they trust me at all…"

"Sir has a point," a small and rather mischievous voice came from behind Draco. He jumped and turned around to see Kreacher looming just in front of the bed with a dark smile on his ugly face.

"Kreacher!" Draco snapped. "What the hell are you doing here? Don't sneak up on people!"

"Yes, Sir," he replied, bowing his head to Malfoy. "Apologies, Sir. Kreacher just came to deliver Sir a letter." He held out his spindly hands and handed Draco a small, thin envelope.

"What? There was nothing for me in the morning mail," Draco muttered, staring at the letter but refusing to take it. "No one knows I'm here… where did you get that?"

"T'was hand delivered to Kreacher this morning, Sir," the house-elf answered politely. Draco furrowed his brows in confusion. He took the letter from Kreacher but before he opened it he stared at the little elf.

"That is all, go now," he ordered. Kreacher nodded and instantaneously disappeared.

Draco stared at the spot from which Kreacher disappeared for a moment or two, trying to decipher the expression on the elf's face. He then turned the envelope over in his hands, trying to divine its origins. After finding nothing, he opened the envelope and read the letter. His heart stopped by the time he reached the end.

It was signed 'Lucius Malfoy'.


	16. Chapter 16

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 16

Draco stared for a long moment at the inscription at the bottom of the small, frayed piece of parchment. His heart was racing and hundreds of thoughts zipped through his mind in an instant. He went over the special protections that they had been told surrounded the Black house and carefully examined the ways in which these protections might be broken or bent. He stood catatonic as his mind jumped from one possibility to the next, continually being disproved and forcing him to search for alternate explanations. There was only one problem…

No matter whether or not the other protections were possible to break the Fidelius charm could only be broken if the Secret Keeper revealed the Secret. But that would never happen…. Dumbledore was the Secret Keeper.

Draco did not have much longer to ruminate over the endless possibilities and endless problems facing each before he was interrupted. Harry opened the door and Draco hardly had enough time to shove the letter into his pocket before Harry had closed the door again and made his way over to Draco.

"Draco, are you alright?" Potter asked in confusion as he stared at Draco's bare chest.

"No, Potter, I am not alright," he snapped unintentionally. He held his tongue for a moment before snapping again.

"Look, I know this must be hard for you to accept," Harry told him. "But Lupin does know what he is doing and he wouldn't put me in a position where I would be unable to fight for myself."

"I know Lupin knows what he is doing," Draco agreed, a stern look on his face. "But he doesn't know what's waiting for you. He may have been there the last time, to fight with your father, but I was there _this_ time… And trust me, things have changed and you cannot trust that the Death-Eaters won't have some new tricks up their sleeves that the Order knows nothing about."

"I'm sure that Dumbledore knows more than we do and he woul-" Harry began in the Order's defense. Draco huffed.

"Dumbledore doesn't know everything, Harry," he argued. "He can't possibly know all that goes on in the Dark Lord's inner circle."

"No, but Snape-" Potter began again.

"You shouldn't put too much stock in what Snape tells you," Draco spat. "I didn't think you were one to trust people so easily."

"I trust you," Harry argued. Draco froze. Perhaps that hadn't been the best idea on Harry's part.

"Just tell me something," Malfoy seethed, staring at his lover. "Do you have any conception of exactly what it is you have to do to You-Know-Who?"

"I have to kill him," Harry answered quietly.

"But do you know what that means??" Draco started breathing more heavily as though he was desperate and almost out of his mind.

"Draco…" Potter whispered, holding out a hand to calm the blonde.

"It means you have to use the Killing curse." Draco pushed his hand away. "It means that you have to use the worst of the Unforgivable curses and you have to make it work! You don't get a second try, Harry. You have to kill him and then you'll have to deal with the Death-Eaters around you who will not be too pleased to watch their master die. You will likely have to kill –if not at least fatally wound –a whole sleuth of people and you will have to bear that for the rest of your life! You will have to watch as their souls escape their bodies and the life leaves their eyes and know that you were the cause! You have to kill a mass of very powerful wizards to save the world. You have to do all this at once, on your own, and all they are teaching you downstairs is how to put up a weak shield that would hardly stave off a cold, let alone Death."

Draco was hyperventilating now and there was a crazed and frightened look that shone through his cold silver eyes. He looked much like Sirius Black had looked when he had escaped, Harry thought. The memory of this and the resemblance between them made Harry's heart sink. He could not allow the same thing to happen to Draco… he _would_ not allow it.

"Draco, look at me," he whispered, desperately trying to pull him closer. "I'll be alright, I will do what I have to do and if that means I have to kill a bunch of Dark wizards, then so be it. This was the future that I have been saddled with… and this is the future that I have no choice but to accept. I can't be afraid and let all these thoughts rule me, Draco, because I know that they will only serve to bring me down. I won't let that happen… I'll stop Voldemort however I can with whatever tools I have at my disposal."

Draco did not seem to be listening to what he was saying. His eyes darted from one corner of the room to another at lightning speeds. Harry was overwhelmed with images from that fateful night in the Shrieking Shack with Sirius, Remus and Pettigrew. Malfoy seemed to be thinking very quickly and with incredible resolve.

"Harry," he finally said, looking the Gryffindor straight in the eyes. "I want you to use the Imperius curse on me."

"What??" Potter exclaimed in utter disbelief. Was Draco really asking that of him? "What the hell for??"

"You will need to learn to use it eventually!" Draco yelled, still filled with a maddened determination. "You won't be able to fight all those Death-Eaters on your own, you have to be able to use them for your own ends!"

"You're bloody mad!" Harry yelled back, taking a step back and fearing for Draco's sanity. "I'm not doing that to you!!"

"DO IT!" Draco demanded. He stepped forwards and punched Harry hard in the face.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Harry demanded, dumbstruck. Draco punched him again, this time much harder and in the gut. Potter unintentionally keeled over forwards from the impact of the blow.

"I won't stop until you make me!" Draco cried out frantically. Harry could see his lover's eyes glazed over with tears and pain from what he was doing. "Do it, damn it!!"

Harry refused, taking Draco's attacked willingly. He let Draco punch him, knee him and jab him all over. He wouldn't do it. He wouldn't use one of the Unforgivable curses on Draco. He couldn't betray him like that… they were Unforgivable.

"Harry, please!!" Draco screamed, tears running down his face. "Stop me from hurting you!!" He took another punch and another and another and soon Harry's face was bloody from a broken nose and he could feel bruises begin to spread under the surface of his skin.

He was lost in these actions. He could not understand why Draco would so desperately want him to do this and he wasn't sure anymore if the blonde was just crazy or really trying to help him. The desperation in Malfoy's eyes and he struck Harry again and again was almost too much for Potter to bear. He was lost until he saw Draco's fist, as if in slow motion, come towards his eye and threaten to shatter his glasses.

"Imperio!" he finally called out, flushing with pain and sadness. His face was streaming with tears and blood as he felt the incredible magic course through him to channel itself through his wand. He watched in mute horror as he saw Draco suddenly halt in mid-air, as though froze in time. Malfoy suddenly dropped his hands and stepped forwards to kiss Harry, but his eyes were flat and emotionless. "I don't know how to stop this!!"

Draco stopped, mid-kiss and froze again. This time, there was a strange look of concentration on his face as though he were fighting some invisible barriers. Finally, he collapsed to the floor and looked up in a daze.

"Draco!" Harry called, kneeling next to him, still crying and hating himself for giving in to the madness. "Are you alright? I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry… I -… I.."

"You did great," Draco answered softly. There was a painful calm that had cast itself over Malfoy and he smiled. "That was damn hard to break. I'm proud of you."

"What?" Harry was in shock. Draco smiled again and leaned his head against Harry's shoulder.

"You have a strong grasp of the Imperius curse," he murmured in reply. "Some of the Death-Eaters might be harder to keep in control, but you'll get at least a few with that."

"You are bloody mad," Harry repeated, feeling absolutely terrible. "Why did you make me do that to you?!"

"Because you need to get over this idea you have that you can do this without using those curses," Draco answered. "And you need to practice."

"Starkers, completely off your rocker," Harry muttered. "How do you think I'm going to live with myself now that I've used an Unforgivable curse on you?!"

"That's my point," he said quietly. "If you can't live with yourself after using the Imperius curse, then how are you going to be able to bring yourself to use the Killing curse?"

"I-" Harry stopped. He looked down at Draco for a moment with a strange kind of admiration. He really had been trying to help him. "That's different though, Draco. I don't love the people I'm out to kill."

"It doesn't matter," the Slytherin responded. "These curses will have that effect on you until you learn to dissociate from them. I wasn't cursing people I particularly cared about when I was learning, but it still tore me apart until I learned to remove myself completely from the situation."

"So, you're training me to be a Death-Eater?" Harry mused softly, wishing that the conversation weren't so bleak.

"In a manner of speaking," Draco answered, getting to his feet. He seemed diminished somehow. "I'm sorry about having hit you like that, by the way…" His voice was quiet and embarrassed.

"I know you are," Potter answered, remembering the pain in Draco's eyes as he was attacking him.

"Now use the Cruciatus curse on me," Malfoy suddenly ordered. Harry frowned.

"You really are mad, you know that?" he said again. "Are you really going to make me practice all the curses?"

"Yes," Draco replied promptly with no hesitation. "Now attack me."

"How do you propose I practice the Killing curse?" Harry asked, ignoring the demand.

"Judging on the strength behind your Cruciatus curse," Draco explained, expressionless. "I'll be able to decide whether or not you _need_ to practice that one. I certainly would not have you use it on me."

"I don't want to hurt you," Harry whispered, biting his lip.

"There may come a time when you might have to." Malfoy's eyes were set and his face was solemn. "Get it over with now. I'm asking you to do this."

"I'm… so sorry…" Potter whispered to him, knowing he would not relent until he had done it. His face was shining with more tears. "Crucio!"

Draco fell to the ground instantly and twitched in a strange paralyzed pose, an incredible fear behind his eyes. Harry could tell he was holding back screams of agony as he wrung on the ground and screwed up his face in the concentration. Harry panicked and tried to wave his wand at the boy, hoping that it might just stop the curse. But there was nothing for it. He had to wait until the curse had worn off.

"Draco," Harry mumbled, breathless, when he finally saw the blonde's body relax and could see the pain fade away. Harry immediately pulled Draco into a tight hug, threatening to never let go. "I'm so sorry, please forgive me. I never want to see you hurt like that again…"

"Harry, it's alright," Draco's meek voice came from through Harry's shirt. "You can let go, Potter."

"I am _not_ doing that again. I don't bloody care what you say," he proclaimed with resolution. Draco smirked. He seemed a bit reassured.

"You won't have to," he whispered. He seemed so weak now before Harry. "I think you are better prepared than I previously anticipated…"

"I almost want to hate you right now," Harry said, feeling almost abused.

"At least now I know you'll be able to kill him… if you get the chance."

A/N: I got this up earlier than I thought, so I'm rather glad for that. Really getting darker here, I didn't even expect to make it rough like this, but it needed to be done. I hope you enjoy and I promise more will be up soon! Reviews are love.


	17. Chapter 17

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 17

Harry let go of Draco, staring at him. He was filled with a mixture of anger, loathing, desperate need and love and the whole mess of it had the effect of a category 5 hurricane on his insides. He couldn't believe that Draco had just put him through all that just to figure out whether or not Harry was capable of killing Voldemort. He couldn't believe Draco had put _himself_ through all that.

"You have to understand," Malfoy whispered to him, seeming to read Harry's mind. "This was the only way to do it."

"No, it wasn't," Harry told him, his anger seeping through his words. "You chose this way. You chose this way and now I'll never be able to forgive myself for causing that kind of pain to you."

"I cursed you before… remember?" Draco added, casting his eyes away. "How do you think I feel?"

"So what, this was trying to make me feel your pain?" Harry snapped, removing his glasses and rubbing the sweat and tears from his eyes. "Besides, you did that unknowingly while you were sleeping. I was fully aware and conscious when I cursed you."

"Harry, please," Draco pleaded. "I was not trying to do to you what I had done to myself. And I asked you to do this to me. In fact, I forced you to use the curses on me. You should not feel bad, it was my own fault."

"But I _do_ feel bad!" Harry snapped. "I feel terrible! I could have refused and simply taken the beating! I could have walked away, but I didn't!!"

"Good! You need to learn that!!" Draco yelled, regaining some of his frantic disposition. "You need to be aware that there is no walking away and there is no refusing if you plan to survive! You can be in a position where you have to curse your own best friend because they are being controlled by the Death-Eaters! Hurting those you love might be the only way to save them in the end."

"Stop it! Stop it!" Harry screamed. "Stop saying things like that!! I won't hurt those I love and I'll find another way around if it comes to that! I will not believe that you are going to hurt me inevitably!" Harry stared into Draco's surprised eyes. "I know that's what you are driving at and I refuse!!"

Without another word, Harry pulled Draco into a kiss and pressed himself against Malfoy. They held it for a long moment and Harry could feel some of the tension wash away and melt into their rough and yearning embrace. He pulled away after a moment and simply stared at Malfoy. Draco looked angry with him but he looked down and could not hold the feeling for long.

"Harry?" Remus' voice called from in the hall. "Draco? Is everything alright? Hermione, Ron and Ginny have arrived. They are waiting downstairs."

"Come on," Draco whispered to his beaten lover. "Let me clean you up."

Draco finished cleaning Harry's face and adjusted his clothes to mask what had been done to him. He winced at seeing the deep bruises he had caused on the Gryffindor's stomach. He kissed Potter lightly before putting the sweater Mrs. Weasley had knitted for him back over his head and heading downstairs to meet Lupin and Harry's friends.

"Harry," Lupin said, staring at his sallow skin and cut lip. His eyes drifted to Draco soon after and he observed the strange weakened pallor behind Draco's usually strong face. "Is everything alright? What happened to you both?"

"Just spell practice," Harry replied immediately. "Got out of hand and we each hit each other with some not so pleasant spells. Kind of knocked the warmth and air out of us."

"Here," Lupin said, handing them each a piece of chocolate. "It'll make you feel better."

"Is that your answer to everything?" Harry asked, a small smirk on his face. Lupin always carried chocolate with him.

"You would never imagine the fantastic healing properties of chocolate," Remus responded with a calm smile.

Draco accepted the chocolate but did not eat it. He did not feel the compulsion to make himself feel better just yet. He watched, however, as Harry took a bite of his and immediately regained some colour to his beautiful face. Draco wished he hadn't forced Harry into doing what he had. He wished that he hadn't been forced to beat his lover to make him do it, but he couldn't go back now. He couldn't undo what he had done and perhaps it was for the better.

"Harry!" Hermione's shrill voice came from down the stairs. She immediately ran up to him and threw herself onto him in a hug. Draco grimaced. Harry was likely in pain from his attacks. "It feels like it's been forever! How have you been? What happened to your lip?"

"Hermione, leave him alone! You'll have time to drive him fully mad later," Ron sneered, stepping forwards to meet them. "Give him a little more time to say goodbye to his sanity." Hermione frowned at Ron. "You wouldn't believe how annoying she's been without you there."

"You sound like an old married couple," Draco interjected, mildly amused at their antics. Hermione suddenly seemed to spot the blonde.

"M-… Draco," she greeted, a little unsure of herself. She hesitated and then flung her arms around him as well, throwing caution to the wind. She pulled back, however, rather quickly. Draco hadn't had time to take it all in. "You feel terribly cold," she stated, putting a hand to his cheek. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Lupin gave me chocolate," Draco answered. It was all he could think to say. She seemed mildly reassured.

"Eat it then, it'll help." Ginny suddenly appeared from behind her older brother.

"So I've heard," Draco answered listlessly. Ron stared at him a moment. "Hello Weasley."

"Malfoy," Ron answered, no strong rancor in his tone. "Still alive, I see."

"As far as I can tell," Malfoy replied, still refusing to eat the chocolate.

"Good." Ron gave him an uncomfortable smile and a nod. Draco blinked. He never thought he would see the day…

"So, Dumbledore let you all leave early?" Harry asked, leading them into the sitting room that displayed the Black Family Tapestry. He sat down on the large old couch and Draco sat beside him, refusing to look at him.

"Yeah," Ron answered. He sat on Harry's other side. "Thought it was a good idea for us to come and stay with you for a while, actually. Although thanks to _someone_ here, we had to write final exams early and all." He made a rather jerky gesture towards Hermione, who huffed at him.

"You should have expected that," Harry snickered.

"That's not the point," Hermione snapped. "We got to come early, didn't we? Now we can prepare with you two."

"It likely wouldn't do much good for you, Granger," Draco remarked, staring straight in front of him. His voice drawled as he spoke and, feeling everyone's eyes on him, he looked around. "She's likely already seen all the damn defense spells we've been going over," he explained, meaning nothing by his comment.

"Well I still think it would be useful to practice," she added, a little flushed.

"Dumbledore said you guys have been training all this time with Tonks and Lupin," Ginny said. "That must have taught you something useful." Draco held his tongue.

"Well," Harry began, looking at Malfoy for a quiet moment. "They are useful in general." He edged a little closer to the Slytherin. "But in facing Voldemort and the Death-Eaters, we'll likely have to use some far more powerful and rather dark spells."

"Dark spells?" Hermione repeated. She seemed worried. "But, what do you mean? Dark magic??" Draco was staring at Harry.

"Well, yeah," Ron cut in. "I mean, there are few spells meant to do damage to anyone and there is only one spell that is meant to kill. How did you expect Harry to defeat You-Know-Who unless he could use those same curses?"

"I just…" Hermione frowned, unsure of what to say. "Those are Unforgivable."

"Yes, we got the memo," Harry said rather dryly.

"Do you honestly think they'll arrest Harry for using an Unforgivable curse to get rid of You-Know-Who?" Ron asked with a mite of disdain.

"Well, I don't know, but isn't there any other way?" Even after six years of spending time with Harry and Ron, Hermione was still uncomfortable with breaking any kind of rule.

"No," Harry answered, staring back at Draco in silent acceptance. "There is no other way." He turned to his friends. "I am going to have to kill someone, perhaps many people. That is just something I am going to have to come to terms with."

They were all silent for a while, thinking over the powerful words that Harry had just spoken. Draco was filled with a terrible sense of fear and discomfort knowing that he had made Harry think that way. He stared at nothing for a while, wondering if he had been wrong. If there was perhaps another way.

There was a sudden frantic and panicked rustling from the entrance hall. Many adult voices were muttering back in forth in surprise and alarm. The five of them sat up and looked at one another, apprehensive about what was going on. The voices drew closer and grew darker and more worried. Finally, Lupin, Snape, Tonks and two Ministry wizards stepped into the room, each face appearing darker than the next.

"What's going on?" Harry asked, getting to his feet. The two Ministry wizards gave Lupin a disapproving glance before he stepped forwards and turned his attention to Draco, instead of Harry.

"We've received some news," he tempted quietly. His tone was forced and calm but his eyes broadcast an impending horror.

"Of what?" Malfoy asked, getting to his feet to stand next to Harry. He felt his stomach drop and suddenly he felt as though he was looking at everything around him through a fishbowl.

"There were a series of killings done by Death-Eaters this week," Remus continued, carefully choosing his words. "The Ministry and the Order have been investigating them all. All of them, naturally, had a Dark Mark floating above the house, though the question was in why the victims were chosen. Most were muggles or muggle-born witches and wizards. One, however, stood out."

"Who was it?" Harry asked, his voice ringing with concern. Draco, however, already knew. He felt detached from his body, suddenly, and could do nothing but turn his attention to the Black Family tapestry.

"It took some time," Remus answered quietly. "But the body was identified as being that of Narcissa Malfoy."

There on the ancient, ornate tapestry, Draco's eyes rested on his mother's name. Underneath it was her date of birth, preceded by her newly embroidered date of death. The chocolate he was still holding suddenly dropped to the floor. Without turning away from the tapestry he spoke, as though in an attempt to make it all seem more real.

"They killed my mother."

A/N: Thanks for the lovely reviews! More on the way soon, chapters 18 and 19 are going to be posted together. :)


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Ok so this is a warning. I know that some of what is going to happen in this chapter is going to seem rather far-fetched or unrealistic. HOWEVER, I assure you that I've not lost my marbles and that this is possible. I know this from personal experience, so please don't stone me! hides Alright, I'm also not _entirely_ happy with the way this turned out, but it serves its purpose and really isn't all that important in the long run, so I hope you can enjoy it anyway and overlook the mild randomness of it!

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 18

Everything seemed silent and dead for a time. Harry wasn't sure how much time had actually passed but as he looked around himself, carefully taking in everyone's individual reactions to what was just presented to them, he felt as though he were standing in a wax museum.

Hermione had clasped her hand to her mouth in shock and surprise. She didn't move or say a word but stared at Draco as if in silent mourning for him. Ginny's face displayed a different kind of shock. She seemed like a doll, staring forwards into nothingness as though desperately trying to imagine what it must feel like to suddenly lose her mother. Ron looked sick, sitting slightly hunched, with a disagreeable expression on his face. There was no colour in his cheeks and his eyes were cast downwards.

The Ministry wizards were standing still and silent for some time, out of procedure and general respect, allowing the proper amount of time for each person to grapple with the news of the diseased. It was all very practiced to them. Snape stared directly at Draco, his cold eyes empty like tunnels and his face displayed a strange judgment on the blonde. Tonks showed the most expression of anyone Harry had observed, of yet. She looked as though it took a great effort for her to refrain from crying in the face of such a tragedy. Lupin was politely silent, bowing his head in silent grief, knowing full-well what it was like to get such sudden news as this. All in all, everyone about them seemed like a pre-positioned figure, sculpted in what might have been thought to be the appropriate manner to react to such a declaration. It seemed very unreal to Harry, but the person who struck him as reacting in the most surprising way was Draco.

Malfoy was standing in mute horror, staring without blinking at the Black Family tapestry, no doubt at his mother's name. He hardly seemed to be breathing as he stood there, like a statue. What struck Harry the hardest was the look in the Slytherin's face, however. His features were frightfully blank and his eyes were flat, bearing no surprise, no emotion, no sorrow. Potter felt an overwhelming sadness wash over him, giving him the irrepressible urge to burst into tears. It was as though he was trying to make up for the lack of emotion Draco displayed in being faced with his mother's murder.

"The Ministry has very little information aside from this," one of the unknown wizards finally said, stepping forwards carefully. "Naturally, they must have been He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's servants who committed the murder, though it is impossible to tell why or who specifically is responsible. There was however, a note at the scene that read only 'time is running out'."

"My father killed her," Draco answered suddenly. His tone held no anger nor rancor, but neither did it hold any love or pain. He seemed altogether dead, in Harry's mind. "They would have forced him to. And as for why," he finally turned his head to address the Ministry wizard directly. "It was a message to me."

"How can you know that for certain?" the second wizard asked, a suspicious expression on his lined face.

"Because I'm a Death-Eater and they are warning me of what's to come," Draco explained, his tone still dull and unimpressed. The Ministry wizards were clearly not informed of this and instinctively began to reach for their wands. Harry stepped up.

"You will not raise your wands to him," Harry declared, stepping in front of Draco, protectively. "He is here under the protection of the Order and Dumblefore himself. You will respect and obey that." The Ministry officials gave Harry a disapproving look before Lupin audibly cleared his throat.

"What we need to consider now," he began, gazing upon Draco with kind eyes. "is whether or not we should put you under further protections and increased supervision. Draco you have clearly become a more prominent target."

"What other protections _can_ be implemented, Sir?" Hermione asked tentatively.

"Well, we should consider the possibility of an added Fidelius Charm," Lupin suggested. "Or added Ministry defenses and protections. Perhaps things of that nature."

"None of it will matter," Malfoy interjected. Harry watched him carefully. He wanted so badly to hold him and make him feel again. He wanted to rid Draco of that numbness that he was projecting.

"Why do you say that?" the first Ministry wizard inquired.

"Because all of those protections require one's trust to be placed in someone," Draco explained. "And when you are in a position such as mine, you cannot afford the luxury of trusting anyone." He glanced at Harry. Potter felt a pang of worry in his stomach. Did that mean that Draco didn't trust him?

"Draco…" Harry whispered, but Malfoy shook his head and left the room. Everyone was still for a few moments, still apparently maintaining the 'wax museum' idea.

Harry stared at Snape for a moment before walking off after Draco.

Draco stood inside the room he shared with Harry and stared at the ground, wanting desperately to cry or scream or do something irrational and normal that might disprove his greatest fear of himself: that he had become heartless. There was usually only one way to get rid of this feeling when he was in this kind of situation, but the opportunity had not yet presented itself.

He pulled the little letter from his pocket and stared at the letters on the page for a moment, as though looking for some hidden meaning. As he did this, however, the letters began to move and shift until all of the words became meaningless gibberish and had lost all value to him. He crushed it in his hand and shoved it back into his pocket, suddenly feeling very very hot. He tore his sweater off and threw it aside.

He felt something now. He felt angry but the emotion was still misdirected. He did not feel angry with the Death-Eaters, nor did he feel anger towards his father. He felt angry at himself. He felt loathing for himself for all the foolish decisions he had so far made which had ended up hurting others around him. Every time…

"Draco," Harry's soft voice came from the doorway. Malfoy refused to turn to him. Harry did not say anything else. Instead, he walked over to the blonde and wrapped his arms around him, pressing himself up against the other boy's body. Draco felt a familiar impulse surge through his body. When opportunity knocks…

"I told you," Draco could only manage to whisper. Harry turned him around and stared at him.

"Told me what?" he asked, softly brushing the hair out of Draco's eyes.

"I told you that this is how they work," he answered, Harry's touch making it hard for him to finish what he was trying to say. "My father killed his wife just to get the message to me. They wouldn't stop at anything and Voldemort abuses of it. He can push any of his followers to kill their own grand-mothers if he so chooses and he knows it. The only thing he likely hates more than you, Harry, is a traitor."

Harry only stared at him for a moment. Draco had never dared speak Voldemort's name before now. He had never been so frank about how he felt and Harry could feel it. The look on Draco's face still read of no emotion but Harry knew that couldn't be true. Perhaps this was his own way of grieving; to put up a face.

"Draco, I'm sorry about what happened to your mother," Harry tempted. He was never sure how to react in the face of someone else's loss. "But you'll be alright. You are safe here."

"Do you trust the people that are around you here, Harry?" Draco seemed to ignore his comments. Something strange was burning behind his eyes.

"Yes," Harry answered, with little hesitation. He thought only of Snape, but decided not to get into that.

"Why?" Malfoy's questions seemed strange, but he was driving at something.

"Because they are my friends, they are important to me," Harry answered with little certainty in his voice.

"What about Snape? He is not your friend and I doubt he means much to you," Draco remarked.

"Well no, but Dumbledore trusts him," Harry argued, knowing this likely meant little to Draco.

"Did I not tell you before that Dumbledore cannot know everything?" Draco snapped. "Did I not tell you not to put much stock in what Snape tells you?"

"Draco, what exactly is your point?" Harry asked, clearly having no intention of starting that conversation up again.

"My point is that you trust all these people for reasons that mean nothing in the grand scheme of things," he explained dramatically. He was breathing heavily and somehow there was an odd desire alight in his cold eyes. "And these people can betray you just as easily as some of your enemies would. Your parents trusted Pettigrew with their Secret and look at what happened!"

"Draco," Harry snapped, none too pleased with the relation he was making. He stepped up and took Malfoy by the shoulders. "The same thing isn't going to happen to me!"

"But it might! It might as long as you trust people without good reason or proof!" Malfoy cried, his voice rushed, clearly wanting something else. "You must trust no one!"

"Do you trust me?" Harry asked, moving closer to Draco. Malfoy licked his lips.

"Yes!" he answered, breathing heavily. "And that's what scares me! To know that I trust you and you trust me but with no good reason!"

"Loving you isn't good enough reason??" Harry snapped in confusion. Draco didn't answer.

Instead, he pulled Harry into a very rough and very strong kiss. He was pulsing with heat, feeling this anger take control of him and express itself in such a strange way. He immediately removed Harry's shirt and threw it aside, forcing their bodies together with his movements.

Potter's surprise registered on his face and he tried to pull away.

"What are you doing, Draco?" he asked. Draco couldn't help it. This was his compulsion, this was how he had learned to deal with grief. He didn't express it through tears or violence. He didn't drink or do drugs. He wanted sex and he wanted it now.

"Don't you want me?" Draco demanded, still burning with anger and lust and ignoring Harry's question.

"They just told you your mother was killed," Harry said quietly, a look of disbelief on his face.

"This is how I grieve," Draco answered, amazed that he was actually feeling tears come to his eyes. "I need to do this now. Do you want me, or not?"

"Of course I want you," Potter said, clearly a bit uncomfortable. "But I don't think this is the right time…"

Draco pulled Harry into another kiss and forced him to the floor. Harry let Draco kiss him and press their hips together.

"This may be hard for you to understand," Malfoy murmured into his ear. "But I need you right now. You can either let me have you, or I'll have to satisfy myself." As he spoke, he nibbled Harry's lower lip and began to undo Harry's trousers, running a thin finger over his pride.

"Ah, take me now," Harry mumbled, still lost but too enamored to care.


	19. Chapter 19

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 19

Harry succumbed to Draco's advances and felt his back press into the old carpet beneath them. Draco had never been so ravenous in his touch but somehow, now there was more passion behind his actions than there ever had been before. His eyes shone with tears and Harry looked into his eyes, worried that this was not the right thing to do.

"Draco," he whispered, brushing away the tears from his eyes. Something in Malfoy's body relaxed a bit.

"Say it again," he demanded pulling Harry's pants off him. Harry felt something clench around his heart from the manner in which Draco had asked it of him. He couldn't stand to see him this way.

"Draco," Harry repeated, louder this time. He pulled Draco up and kissed him gently. "You don't have to do this, Draco."

"Yes I do," he answered. He was unable to smile but his eyes glimmered with desire and lust like Harry had never seen. "I need to do this, I need you to want me. Harry, tell me you want me." He kissed his lover and then bent down over him to suck on Harry's length. His ministrations were so much more powerful than they had ever been before.

"Ungh… Draco," Potter moaned, his head nodding back. "Draco, I want you, I want you so bad!"

Draco's tension seemed to evaporate but the hunger in his movements as he massaged Harry's erection with his tongue did not die out. He simultaneously pushed Potter's legs open and thumbed his entrance without penetrating him. Harry moaned and made noises of pleasure, feeling fireworks erupt behind his eyes but refusing to let go. He bit his lip and ran his fingers through Draco's soft blonde hair.

Malfoy finally lifted his head, allowing his tongue to linger on the head of Harry's length seductively before pulling away completely. He got to his knees and pulled Harry up into a kiss before lifting Potter entirely off the ground and taking him over to the bed. Draco laid Harry down at the edge of the bed and got back on his knees.

He pulled Harry's legs apart leaned forwards, rimming his entrance with his tongue. He lapped and pressed his tongue into Harry, massaging his butt all the while. Harry's pulse quickened and he spread his arms to his sides, grasping at the sheets beneath him.

"Draco, ah, yes…" Harry whimpered, shutting his eyes and unable to control the sounds that escaped him now. He felt Malfoy relax more with every time he spoke his name. "Yes, Draco… I want… you, Draco!"

Malfoy got to his feet and removed his own pants and boxers. He stroked himself in front of Harry for a moment. He leaned over Harry finally and pressed his erection against Harry's shaft and ground their hips together. Harry pulled Draco down into a kiss and sucked on his tongue, running his hands down the Slytherin's back. Potter couldn't help but hunger for his lover now too, throwing his discomfort to the wind and giving in to the sexual attraction.

"Harry," Draco whispered to him, tiny tears clinging to his eyelashes. He sucked on Harry's neck and ran his hands along Harry's outstretched arms. "Tell me what you want, Harry…scream it." He nibbled at Harry's ear, making goose bumps rise up on Potter's neck with every warm breath. His erection was rubbing against Potter's and forced another moan to escape his mouth.

"I want you, Draco," Harry answered. "I want to lick you and suck you. I want you to push into me and never stop." Harry was rambling. His head was spinning from the pleasure. "I want you inside me… Draco!"

Malfoy finally smiled. He kneeled over Harry and brought him up into a deep kiss, with a little less hunger and more care. Harry kissed him back and sat up. He pushed Draco back to lean his back against the headboard. Harry kissed him, pushing his tongue into his lover's mouth and stroking his erection carefully.

Potter leaned forwards, running his tongue over Draco's navel and planting little kissed along his 'treasure trail'. He lapped at Malfoy's testes and inclined his head specifically so that his unruly black hair would brush very gently against Draco's length.

"Ahh," Draco gasped shivers running over his body while Harry teased him. Potter nuzzled his head gently between Draco's legs, causing him to moan.

He lifted his head and brought his lips to Draco's shaft, sucking on specific little areas to tease him more. He looked up at the Slytherin and felt his breathing speed up at the expression on his face. Draco's eyes were shut and his lips were slightly parted. His eyebrows were knit together in a gentle arc as he tried to control his excitement.

The Gryffindor kissed the tip of Malfoy's erection and began to suck on the spot just below the head, massaging it simultaneously with his tongue. Finally, he wrapped his mouth around the long shaft and slicked it carefully with his tongue. He bobbed his head up and down slowly at first, but with gaining speed, to pull Draco's excitement towards his breaking point.

Then he pulled away. He leaned into Draco and licked his earlobe.

"I want you, Draco," he whispered again. "I want you now…"

Malfoy opened his eyes and Harry spied a mischievous flicker in the cold blue. He pushed Harry onto his back and spread his legs. He positioned himself carefully and slid his length into Harry. Potter gasped and arched his back to somehow make it easier for Draco.

Malfoy bucked into his lover, wanting to push deeper into him than he ever had before. Harry's mind was racing and he moaned louder and louder with every push of Draco's erection further inside. The blonde leaned over until their faces were within an inch from one another. His eyes bore into Harry's as he pulled and pushed into him.

"Scream out for me," Draco whispered, his stare becoming more penetrating and more consuming with every word. "I want to see it in your eyes that you want me and I want you to scream it so that everyone downstairs knows it too."

Harry gasped, unable to keep his eyes open as Draco pressed harder and moved faster and faster. He wanted to give in and give up and just let the ultimate satisfaction wash over him, but he couldn't. He didn't want it to end. He didn't want Draco to ever stop touching him like this.

"Draco, ah!" Harry managed to get out, trying to hold Malfoy's gaze. Draco pushed harder. "Now, Draco, yes!!" He screamed, doing his best to refrain from cocking his head back and breaking the heated look that his lover was giving him. Something about it was so intoxicating.

"Say it again! Tell me you're mine!" Draco ordered, sucking on Harry's jaw line as he bucked harder and faster.

"I'm yours, Draco! Ah," Harry panted, crying out as loud as he could. "Yes, yes… ungh, Draco!!"

"Harry," Malfoy whispered in Potter's ear. Harry could not hold back anymore. He cried out and felt himself explode, spilling out onto himself and Draco's stomach.

Draco bit his lip and pumped into Harry for another moment or two before hitting his own climax and filling Harry. He swallowed hard, holding himself above Potter for a moment. He kissed him softly on the lips before pulling out and collapsing next to him. Harry wrapped his arms around the blonde and kissed his forehead.

"Draco," he whispered. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," Malfoy answered softly. There were still little beads of tears mingled with his eyelashes. "I'm alright now."

"You scared me before," Harry admitted quietly. "Don't do that again, alright?"

Draco was silent for a moment, his eyes half-open and staring at Harry's collarbone. He ran a finger along the slight protrusion above Harry's chest.

"Alright," he finally responded, but there was something strange about it.

Some hours later, after everyone had gone to sleep, Draco had woken himself up and gotten up. He sat for a long while on the side of the bed, staring at Harry's naked, sleeping figure. He was beautiful and innocent while he slept. Draco wished that Harry could stay that way; innocent. He wished that when he awoke he wouldn't have to start facing dangers and actions that would taint his soul forever, taking away the gorgeous innocence. He wished that he wouldn't have to be the one to take Harry's innocence and force him into those situations.

Draco got to his feet and crept quietly around the dark room to find his clothes and redress himself. He picked up his wand and put on his shoes. He found his cloak in the closet and donned it. He carefully picked up different items around him that he thought he might need and then walked back over to the bed to watch his lover sleep a little longer.

He sat next to the boy and ran a soft finger down his cheek, caressing the curves of his face. Draco felt as though something was weighing on his chest like a vice but he knew better than to heed its warning. He thought of the letter again and tried to free himself of doubt. This was the only way, he knew it must be.

"Goodnight, love," he whispered to Harry as he slept. "Don't forget: trust no one…. Not even me."

Then Draco got up and walked out the door….and he was gone.

A/N: Short chapter but I will be posting chapter 20 tomorrow, if all goes well. I also hope you can kindly ignore my little grammatical errors and such because I tend to not have time to correct my own work. Hopefully for my next fanfiction I will be able to correct them, but forgive me for the time being! Love to all


	20. Chapter 20

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 20

The night was quiet and calm. Harry slept comfortably with that serene happiness of one who feels fully sated and loved. He tugged unconsciously on the covers and curled up. There was a sappy smile on his sleeping face that no doubt spoke of the comforting dreams he was having. He moaned something inaudible and turned over, searching for something that he found to be missing.

In his sleep, he furrowed his brow and moved his hand about the empty mattress before him as though searching for some object just out of reach. Unable to put his fingers to it, Harry stirred and finally opened his eyes to search. Seeing nothing at all, he put on his glasses and looked around the room with clearer vision.

It was likely very early in the morning. The sun was still lost beyond the horizon and everything was dark around Harry as his heart began to race and a nauseating anxiety hit his stomach. He got out of bed and looked around the sides of the room carefully, as though hoping he might have missed something.

"Draco?" he called out quietly to the empty room.

Hearing no response, Harry quickly found a pair of pants, slipped them on and pushed past the door. Perhaps Draco was in the kitchen, fetching himself a glass of water. Or perhaps he couldn't sleep and decided to go read or something. Or perhaps he was just in the bathroom.

Harry walked quickly down the halls, poking his head into every open room that he came across in search of Malfoy. The bathroom was empty and there were no lights that he could see. His anxiety increased and he stumbled quickly down the stairs to check the lower level of the house. He leaned into the kitchen.'

"Draco?" he called more loudly this time. No response.

Harry began to panic and jog around the rooms of the house that he knew, looking behind things and through every door, calling out louder and louder as he went until he was screaming.

"Draco!" he yelled, looking around for any signs of his lover. He ran back upstairs to their room and turned on the light. Draco's pants from earlier that night were missing. His clothes were gone and his wand was nowhere to be seen. Harry rushed to the closet and found only his own cloak hanging there. "Draco!!"

People started waking from their slumber. They poked their heads out their bedroom doors only to see Harry frantically whizzing past, shoving a shirt over his head and jamming his feet into his shoes.

"Harry, what's going on?" Remus' voice came from the top of the stairs as Harry had just made it down into the entrance hall.

"Draco is missing! He's gone!!" he hollered back up in terror. He tripped over something invisible in the dark and was thrown head first into a wall.

Worried and rushed steps could be heard coming down the stairs now. Remus was leading the bunch but Hermione, Ron, Ginny and Tonks were close behind. Harry grimaced, holding his forehead and pretending that the tears in his eyes were from hitting the wall.

"Harry, calm down," Remus pleaded, trying to take a look at his head. "Are you sure he's gone? Did you check everywhere?"

"Yes! Everywhere!! He's not here!" Harry snapped, pushing Lupin away. His eyes roved quickly from face to face. Each one of them gave him strange looks as he spoke. He stared at Ron the longest, who was clearly flushing a bright red even under the cover of darkness.

"Well, where else could he be?" Ron asked tentatively.

"I don't know!!" Harry snapped, adjusting his shoes. "I've got to go look for him."

He rushed towards the door only to hear calls coming from behind him.

"Harry, wait!" Hermione called. He turned to glare at her.

"Wait for what?? For him to be fully gone before I go looking?!" he spat at his friend.

"Let Remus and I come with you!" Tonks called, shifting her appearance. She got her cloak and shoes as well.

"Fine," Harry called, running out into the darkness outside.

He gazed around himself madly, wondering where to look first and trying to understand what had happened. He couldn't see a thing in the dark fog and pulled out his wand.

"Lumos!" he called. The tip of his wand lit up instantaneously to light his way.

He didn't know in which direction he was going but he ran. He ran and called out and screamed into the still night air, hoping that Draco was just sleepwalking. He hoped many foolish things as he darted from one direction to another. His breath was catching in his chest and his glasses were fogging up but he didn't care.

"DRACO!!" he yelled out at the top of his lungs. He didn't know how long he had been running for. He didn't know how far he had gone and where he was anymore. He didn't even really know where Grimmauld Place was to begin with. He was lost and he knew it but he didn't care. If he was lost, Draco surely was as well and he was more important. Harry needed to find him. He needed to protect him and keep him safe. He had promised to do that. He had promised…

"Harry!" a familiar voice called from behind him. In his wishful thinking Harry thought it was Draco and spun on his heel to meet his lover. His heart fell when he saw only Lupin looking back at him. "Are you alright?"

"No!" he snapped, turning back to his trail and breaking into a run. "I'm not alright! Draco is gone! He's gone and I need to find him! He's not safe on his own!" Harry's voice was breaking and cracking as he ran. His face was wet with tears and sweat. He became more and more desperate with every word and every step. He thought of all the horrible things that could happen to Draco if he was out on his own. He thought of the terrible things that Voldemort would do to him if he was found. He thought of that familiar feeling of sensing his heart rip in half at losing another loved one.

"Harry, please!" Lupin called from not too far behind him. "Harry stop! There is no way you can find him running around in the middle of the night on foot!"

Harry refused to stop. He ignored Lupin's order and pressed onwards in an unknown direction, hoping against all hope that he would just run into Draco who had wanted to get some air and just got lost.

"I have to find him!!" Potter repeated desperately. "I have to!! They are going to kill him if they find him! They are going to kill him and I promised that I would protect him!! I'm supposed to keep him safe!! I'm…. I'm…" His words dissipated into a multitude of sobs. He tripped over something and fell to his knees on the ground.

He let his head hang, holding himself up by his hands. He couldn't lift his head anymore. He couldn't look up into the void ahead and allow himself to believe that Draco was gone for good and that he would never see him again. He couldn't allow himself to suppose, even for a moment, that Draco would be killed. He couldn't bear with the knowledge that it would be his fault, that he was responsible for another death.

A reassuring hand touched his shoulder and helped him to his feet. He couldn't open his eyes and face this person. He couldn't bring himself to look at anything but the back of his eyelids now. He needed to find Draco…

"Harry," Lupin's voice came from just above him. "We will send out Order members to go look for Draco. I know how important it is to find him and I know how important he is to you. But it's not safe for you to be out like this alone either… What good will it do Draco if you end up dead?"

"I don't care," Potter responded petulantly. "I promised to protect him and now I can't… I broke my promise to him."

"Don't be foolish, Harry," Remus assured him. "You did not break your promise. We will find Mr. Malfoy but you need to go back to the house and wait. Stay safe and we'll bring you all the information we can, as soon as possible. You need to be there if he comes back or there is message sent. Alright, Harry?"

"….Yes…" Harry answered quietly. He felt hopeless and useless. He felt like a fool.

Lupin led Harry back up to Number Twelve and let him inside. Hermione, Ron and Ginny were there waiting for him. They each had worried and uncomfortable expressions on their faces. Harry did not look any of them in the eye but removed his shoes and simply walked over to collapse on the large couch in the sitting room.

Potter could do nothing but think of the desperation Draco had had in his voice earlier. He could only barely grasp all the messages Malfoy had been trying to give him. He wished that he had understood them all. He wished that he had paid more attention to Draco when he spoke of not belonging. He wished so many things now but there was nothing for it. Draco was gone and he didn't know what was going to happen next. He didn't feel like doing anything but sit there in his own misery and soak up the guilt that surrounded him.

"Harry," a soft voice called to him. Ginny walked over and sat next to him. "Harry, it'll be ok… I'm sure they'll find him."

"Yes, Harry," Hermione added, trying to be comforting. "He'll come back."

"He damn well better come back or I'll have to kill him," Ron muttered from a little further away. He had clearly meant his promise to Malfoy from Gryffindor Tower. He seemed worried like the rest, though there was a mite of anger in his features.

"Ron!" Hermione snapped.

Harry couldn't look at them. He could only stare at his feet and attempt to fathom what would have possessed Draco to leave the house alone, without telling anyone, in the middle of the night.

He simply hoped that the reason wasn't what he was afraid it was…

---IIIIIIIII---

The night was quiet and calm. The dark and misty clearing was ominous in its appearance and surely, if those trees could talk, would have many tales to tell. The moon hung limp and unthreatening in the velvety sky and the black shadows that hung over the ground sent chills through his limbs.

Draco stepped forwards slowly, attempting to keep his wits about him and take in every little detail of the forest around him. The wind was cold for this time of year and it caused his cloak to ripple out behind him. Suddenly, there was a crack of a twig and a rustle in the leaves of the trees. Draco whipped his head around to look over his shoulder but saw nothing.

"Show yourself!" he called out, his hand instinctively reaching for his wand.

"I don't think you are in any position to be dishing out orders, Draco," a silky voice warned. With the swish of a cloak and a parting of the mist, a very thin and pale figure stepped forwards.

Lord Voldemort raised his wand.

A/N: Thanks so much for the wonderful reviews! I'm glad you all liked the other chapters. The story is coming to its climax now, so it will be getting darker. I hope you enjoy it!


	21. Chapter 21

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 21

Draco froze. He stared carefully at the wand that was pointed at his chest though he tried not to show any of his fear or discomfort on his face. Luckily, his father had taught him something and there was nothing that Malfoys did better than put up an unimpressed façade.

Tall black shadows began to form and solidify around him in a large circle. Each of these figures wore a skull mask and few were recognizable in this garb. Draco felt his muscles twitch and tense as his fingers ached to grab his wand. He knew better, mind you. He was not stupid.

"You have returned to us," Voldemort whispered, lowering his wand. "We have missed you so."

"Don't mistake my return for loyalty," Draco drawled, staring at the hideous face of his former master. "It has nothing to do with you."

Voldemort laughed and waved around at his followers, gesturing for them to join in and chuckle. Many of the Death-Eaters laughed quietly as if afraid to make more noise than their Dark Lord and anger him. Draco gritted his teeth.

"Tell us then, Mr. Malfoy," Voldemort insisted. "Why have you returned to us?"

"I was left with little alternative, judging from that letter," he answered honestly. He hated being ridiculed, no matter who was doing it. "I don't know how you managed to get that letter to the house-elf but I couldn't afford to take any chances, could I?"

"Ah yes," Voldemort sighed happily. "The letter. Quite ingenious little ploy, wasn't it?"

Draco stared. His heart stopped and he did not breath. Ploy? It had been a hoax? Malfoy's pupils dilated as he tried to figure out what the use of that could have been, apart from getting him back.

"You… you never knew the location of Order Headquarters," Draco mumbled, piecing it all together. He wanted to hit himself or kill himself right then, to make up for his foolishness, but he stood still. "Then how did you hand deliver the letter to Kreacher?"

"Honestly, Draco," Voldemort sighed in mock astonishment. "It hurts me that you have such little faith in my power." He grimaced at Malfoy and waved a hand. "It was child's play. Through my many connections and loyal followers, I discovered that Harry Potter was made the owner of a house-elf. This elf is thus bound to him, though much to its displeasure." Voldemort pulled a face and began to pace around his circle of followers. "I normally have little patience and quite some distaste for such lowly creatures, but this one held some promise. It had a link to the Black family and must obey anyone in the Black family line."

"That doesn't answer my question," Draco murmured, thinking fast over everyone he could remember from the tapestry. Voldemort flicked his wand at Draco. A sudden burning pain erupted under his skin. His muscles tensed and he hunched forwards to try and deal.

"Do not interrupt me," Voldemort ordered. "The house-elf was placed at Hogwarts by Mr. Potter himself. All I had to do was send in your dear mother with the letter and specific instructions to hand it over to you."

"How did you know I would be with H-.. Potter?!" Draco snapped, catching himself. He did not want to give Voldemort any reason to believe that Harry meant anything to him. The Dark Lord gave him a malevolent grin.

"Foolish child," Voldemort sneered. "If you were running from me, where else would you go but to take refuge with that old fool Dumbledore and his precious Harry Potter? You may not be quick, but you certainly aren't stupid enough to go into hiding on your own."

"Then why did you have to kill my mother?!" Malfoy cried, anger and sadness welling up behind his eyes. "She was loyal to you!"

"She served her purpose," Voldemort admitted. "But you needed to see the consequences of your actions. This is not a game, Draco. Everyone makes their choices and you have to pay the price."

Draco said nothing. His mind was racing and reliving all the experiences of the past several weeks. He couldn't process it all. His eyes jumped from the ground to each of the mask-hidden faces around him in turn. He knew just how stupid he had been now. He contemplated his chances of getting out of there alive. They were not good.

"It seems odd," Draco finally murmured, hoping to keep Voldemort talking. "That you would reveal this all to me. I am, after all, a traitor."

"Ah, right you are!" the Dark Lord snickered. He gave Draco a mocking clap before gliding over to him. "Why indeed have I revealed these things to you? Why indeed have I not simply killed you, yet?" Voldemort's face was very close to Draco's. Malfoy shook though he tried not to show it. "Well you see, Draco, it doesn't matter in the slightest that you should know all of this. You have served your purpose and will soon be rewarded for it."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Draco snapped, fear and apprehension creeping over him. Voldemort turned maliciously to him.

"Nothing, nothing," he answered. "But I'm sure many of your fellow Death-Eaters would have liked to be in your place." He turned and raised his wand again to Draco. "They would all have been overjoyed to have signed Harry Potter's death-warrant as you just did."

---IIIIIIIII---

Harry paced around the small sitting room. Lupin had returned after a few hours of searching to check up on them only to find Harry pacing around the room while Hermione, Ron and Ginny slept awkwardly on the couches. He had suggested to Harry to get some sleep if he could.

That had been several hours ago and naturally Harry had not slept at all. He spent the whole time pacing and thinking and jumping at every new sound of life around him. He would sprint to the door whenever anyone came in and press them for news before they'd even taken a breath of air.

Every time, however, Harry was disappointed. There was never any sign of Draco and yet they had been searching for hours around the area. They had also searched the area around Malfoy Manor, all of Hogwarts grounds and any other area that seemed at all logical.

Tonks had sent out urgent messages to all the Order members she could think of last night, while Lupin as running around after Harry. Each of them answered and immediately began their search. Dumbledore had even shown up to check in on Harry before leaving to find out what he could.

Nevertheless, Harry continued to pace and wait. He continued to hope and tried desperately not to think of the terrible things that could have happened. He tried to push doubt from his mind and simply believe that Draco would be alright.

"Harry?" Ron's groggy voice called out. The red-head roused and sat up, rubbing his eyes. "Are you still pacing, mate?"

"Yeah," Harry answered. He was dead tired but couldn't bring himself to sleep, not while Draco was missing and unaccounted for. Harry refused to go to sleep without having the blonde next to him.

"Still no word?" Ron asked, watching his friend with muted concern.

"No word," he replied.

"It's been at least seven hours," Weasley muttered, looking at his watch. "You should lie down for a bit, yeah?"

"No, I can't." Harry was determined. He felt a nauseous pang behind his navel and screwed up his eyes.

"Harry," Ron began. He got to his feet and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You should just take a little nap. Don't worry, ok? I'll stay up while you sleep and wait for news. If anything comes, I'll wake you up right away."

Harry stopped pacing at stared at Ron. He had never seen Ron act so caring before. The red-head smiled and nodded to him. He nudged Harry over to the couch and nodded again. Potter was speechless for a moment. He didn't want to be asleep if Draco came back, nor did he want to miss any news if any came. Yet, he felt more and more the pull of his weariness and decided that Ron was right.

"Alright," he finally agreed, leaning back on the couch. "But if anyone comes through that door, you'll wake me up right away." It was not a question.

"Don't worry, Harry," Ron assured him.

It seemed to Harry that he hadn't been asleep for more than a few minutes before he felt Ron shaking him awake. He jolted a few times before realizing what was happening and getting promptly to his feet.

There were several unknown wizards standing in the doorway. Lupin, Tonks, Snape and Dumbledore were standing inside the room, however, along with Ron and the two girls who had obviously woken up a while ago. All of their faces look solemn and uneasy.

"What happened?" Harry asked, fearing the worst. Dumbledore looked directly into his eyes. "Where is Draco?"

"We do not have Mr. Malfoy's precise location, Harry," Dumbledore admitted. "We do, however, know where he is."

"What?" Harry's eyebrows knitted together as he frowned at the Order members. "Where is he, then?"

"Harry, I am going to tell you," Dumbledore's voice was full of warning. "But I do not want you to make any rash decisions. I need you to stay calm Harry and to listen to all we have to give you. I know that Draco is terribly important to you, but for both of your sakes, we need to make sure we do not move too quickly. Do you understand?"

Harry stared into his Headmaster's eyes for a long while. He felt his mouth open slightly, his worst fears seemingly realized. He nodded his head slowly. Everyone in the room suddenly felt very unreal to Harry. It was as though they were not there at all, as though he was alone, standing in front of Dumbledore and waiting for the world to fall.

"Harry," Dumbledore started slowly. "Though I do not believe it was by his own choosing, Draco is with Lord Voldemort."

And then it happened. The entire world began to fall away and leave nothing but emptiness and heartbreak. Harry sensed himself falling through the floor and all he could hear now was the dull beating of his own heart. Then, out of nowhere, he heard someone speak in a distant voice. He had no idea who was speaking. As far as he was aware, he could have been the one to say it but either way, the thought that had caused the earth to shatter was spoken aloud to make it more real.

"Draco is dead."


	22. Chapter 22

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 22

The words rung out and echoed on the still air for what felt like centuries to Harry. His mind was swimming and he felt the desperate need to let his knees buckle and give way so that he could crash into the hard ground beneath him. Something stayed his legs, however. Something stopped him from collapsing into darkness and never coming back. Dumbledore was giving him a strange look.

"Harry," the old wizard said, trying to shake him back to reality. "Harry, Draco is not dead. At least not as far as we know."

Harry didn't think he could take much more of this. He was being tossed back and forth from hope to despair like some kind of sadistic pong game. His body and brain couldn't seem to decide whether to abandon the previous feeling of utter misery and wholly accept what was being told to him, or to simply ignore the words and sink ever deeper into his anguish. His eyes blurred and several strange expressions crossed his face in quick succession.

"What?" he could barely bring himself to say. No other useful words wanted to form on his lips and his brain seemed about ready to give up on the whole situation and hand in its resignation.

"Draco is not dead," Dumbledore repeated calmly. He looked around the room to give a disapproving look to whomever it was that suggested otherwise. "He is in Voldemort's possession, so-to-speak, but we have no reason to believe that he has been killed. In fact," the old wizard added, tweaking his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "Lord Voldemort likely has a good reason for keeping Draco alive."

"What are you talking about?" Harry asked breathily. He could hardly stand straight now. The intense rattling of his emotions had left him terribly drained and weak. "Voldemort wanted him dead. He's a traitor."

"Yes," Dumbledore admitted quietly. Everyone else in the room seemed to be waiting with baited breath, more concerned with Harry's reactions than with the subject at hand. "Though we believe that Draco is being kept alive to serve a purpose."

Harry shut his eyes for a moment, trying to steady himself. He finally allowed himself to drop onto the couch to his right before attempting to say anything else. He wanted to give himself a moment to think it all over. Sickening sensations of grief and displeasure washed over him suddenly as his brain instinctively formulated all the worst-possible scenarios surrounding Draco at that moment. He thought of all the most terrible things that he could, knowing that Voldemort had no heart and no soul.

"Why… is he keeping Draco alive, then?" Harry finally managed to ask. He stared only at the ground as a blatant refusal to meet anyone's eye in case he was to burst into tears. "What…purpose is he… to serve?" Potter almost dreaded the answer, wanting to have none of the sickening thoughts of Voldemort in his head justified.

"Harry," Lupin's voice broke the silence. "We think that he's keeping Draco alive as a lure…"

Harry screwed up his eyes and grabbed handfuls of his own hair in an attempt to control his own shaking. How had he let himself fall into such a terrible position? How had this all started? Why had he let himself be seduced and even loved by Draco Malfoy? Why had he allowed himself to fall in love with someone who was such a strong promise of disaster? More importantly, how had he let Draco get away? How had he let him get dragged back to the Death-Eaters when he promised to protect him?

Harry should have known better than all of this. He should have gone through his entire life loving no one and allowing no one to love him in return. He should have abstained from all contact with anyone because, when he thought about it, anyone he had ever come to truly care for had gotten hurt or killed. It was an eventuality when consorting with Harry Potter. There should be a warning sign floating above his head to warn any prospective friendships or lovers that getting too close to him would result in their death.

"A lure for what?" Harry eventually forced from his mouth. He already knew the answer but hoped somehow, though he didn't know where he was pulling this hope from, that he was wrong.

"For you, Harry," Dumbledore whispered. He didn't need to speak any louder, however. The room was deadly silent as everyone cast their eyes to an empty area. No one would look at him.

"But how could he know that Draco meant anything to me?" he inquired, finally raising his head to look at someone.

"There is the only thing we have," Lupin answered. "He likely does not know of the relationship you and Draco have. He is probably going on the simple instinct he has that tells him that you would not let him get away with kidnapping someone under your protection. His plan most probably relies solely on your nobility, Harry."

"My nobility," Potter repeated, his tone dripping with spite. Some of the members of the room seemed to perk up and come to life.

"Harry, he won't kill Draco at least until he's killed you," Tonks reiterated softly.

"Yes, that means there is some time for us to prepare," Hermione added. Harry's head jerked up to look at them.

"Excuse me?" he snapped. "Time for us to prepare? What exactly do you mean by that?"

"Well," Hermione began slowly, clearly frightened by Harry's tone. "I just mean that you don't have to rush into it. We can all prepare and plan something out to get him back. It's not as urgent as it could be."

Harry's eyebrows disappeared behind his mane of hair. His mouth hung slightly open as he stared at Hermione. He could not believe, for the life of him, that she had just said something so inconsiderate and stupid.

"Not urgent, is it?" he spat, getting to his feet suddenly. He had the look of an enraged predator about to dismember a trespasser on its territory. "Draco is currently being held captive by a band of heartless, evil wizards who don't bloody give a damn about their own families before themselves! He is in the control of people like his father, who would sooner beat him to death than risk their own necks! He is being used and abused by these people just to get me to come to them and you are telling me that it's not _urgent_?! The man I love is being held hostage by a man who will stop at nothing to destroy me and you think I've got time to prepare?! Let's have Ron get kidnapped by Voldemort and then see how urgent you think getting him back is!!"

Harry thrashed about the room and hollered at the top of his lungs, sending an intense wave of anger and hatred over everyone present. None of the witches or wizards there dared look at Harry. Hermione's eyes filled with tears as she glanced at Ron, who was a brilliant shade of red, before she looked at the floor. Dumbledore was the only one who had the courage or the compassion to actually look at Potter.

"I'm… I'm so sorry, Harry," Hermione's almost inaudible voice flitted to him. He immediately felt guilty for reacting as he had but none of them would understand what he was going through. They all likely regarded the situation as a teenaged fling, or hormonal interactions. No one, apart from Dumbledore, likely thought much of Harry's feelings for Draco at all. He seethed with anger and hatred and didn't know just where to direct it.

"I don't need any bloody time," Harry finally stated through gritted teeth. "Too much has passed already. It's about damn time that I acted and put and end to this."

"Harry, what are you saying exactly?" Tonks asked him fearfully.

"I think it's damn obvious what he's trying to say," Moody's voice suddenly erupted from behind several unknown wizards. He limped forwards to look Harry in the face. There was a silent recognition between them.

"I'm going to go after Draco, tonight." Harry did not hesitate in his words. He paid no mind to the frightened voices around him or the uncomfortable expressions of his peers. He was set and he would do what he needed to.

"But Harry," Ginny tempted. "That means-"

"Yeah, I know," Harry interrupted. "It means that tonight is the night I'll have to kill Voldemort."

---IIIII---

"Potter will never come," Draco proclaimed, attempting simultaneously to convince himself. He stared at Voldemort's back as the Dark Lord walked around his circle of loyal dogs.

"What makes you so sure of that?" He was clearly humoring Draco in his question, judging from how a ripple of laughter spread around the circle.

"He doesn't even know where you are," Draco argued. He held his ground and attempted to keep up his cool and collected face despite his fear. "How is he supposed to get to a place he isn't aware of? Harry Potter might be good, but he's not that good."

Voldemort's head snapped to look at Draco. There was an animalistic grimace on his misshapen features. He clearly had not appreciated the comment about Harry and expressed it instantaneously. Without a word on either of their parts, Draco suddenly felt an overwhelming agony rush through his body, burning him from the bones out. He clenched his jaw and shut his eyes, fighting the irrepressible urge to collapse on the ground and shake uncontrollably.

"You are stronger than you look," the Dark Lord remarked as he watched Draco squirm on the spot. "You might have made a good Death-Eater had you not been so stupid to fall victim to Potter's foolish fantasies." He lifted the spell and allowed Draco's muscles to relax and take in the feeling of calm. "Allow me to set the terrible rumor straight and remove any doubt from your naïve mind. Potter is no great wizard. There is absolutely nothing special about him. The only reason he survived the first time was because of my own mistake. He is no 'Wonder Child' and he will not survive the next encounter. There is nothing else to it."

"You are a liar," Draco spat quietly. He was still shaking and sweating from the curse. Voldemort pressed his cold spindly fingers to Malfoy's face and lifted his head so that he could stare into the Dark Lord's face.

"What am I?" he hissed. Malfoy's mouth shaped into a snarl.

"A bloody liar!" the blonde cried. "You know as well as I do that what you said is not true!"

"You petulant little prick," the Dark Lord hissed again. He sounded more and more snakelike.

"Why did it mean so much to you to kill an innocent little child then?" Draco snapped, pulling his face from Voldemort's grasp. "Clearly Harry Potter _is_ special in some way if you would go out of your way to try and destroy him before he'd even learned to walk! He is a threat to you and you know it! You should just admit to it before you really embarrass yourself!"

"Silence!!" Voldemort shrieked causing all of his followers to wince in fear. Draco, however, stood strong. "You've no idea of what you speak! I will not admit to anything that is so blatantly untrue!!"

"So you're just sticking to the story that you're just a cowardly child-killer?" Draco seethed, clearly pushing the whole thing too far. "Did you really think that would improve your reputation? Who would respect you more because you'd offed a year-old child and his two loving parents?!"

Without another word there was a flash of light and a shriek and Draco fell to the ground, motionless. Voldemort stepped forwards and nudged Malfoy's head with his foot.

"Take him away and put him somewhere," Voldemort ordered one of his masked followers. "Don't go too far, though. He might be of use later."


	23. Chapter 23

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 23

Harry's words had caused pandemonium in the little sitting room. Every which person was trying to get their two cents in on what it is _they_ thought Harry should do. He stood there for a few moments, trying to pick up pieces of what each of them was saying. Every word he caught, however, referred to his intentions as 'foolish' or 'irrational'. They were saying things suggesting that the whole matter was 'pointless' and that Draco was 'expendable'. Snape's comments were the loudest and protested the most. He seemed determined that Harry not go save Draco. Harry couldn't stand it anymore.

"Look," he finally called out to them. "I don't give a damn about what you lot think of the whole matter. I'm going tonight and that's that. Either you help me do it, or I'll go it alone and then you'll have to save the world from Voldemort without me. Draco is my number one priority right now, so you bloody well accept it."

The room fell silent very quickly. Harry glared at them all and pushed past them. He ran from the room to get dressed properly and collect what he might need for what he was about to do. It hadn't yet sunken in that this could be his last night alive. He hadn't considered the possibility that he was jumping headfirst into a tank of piranhas with no backup plan.

He thought only of Draco and of what they could be doing to him. He thought of the past few months he'd spent with Malfoy and how he somehow felt as though he'd missed out during all those years of rivalry between them. He thought of that fantastically warm feeling that washed over him every time Draco pressed up against him. Then he thought of something else.

He thought of when Draco had cursed him in his sleep. He remembered the horror he had felt when he was jolted out of sleep by the excruciating pain of the Unforgivable curse. He remembered the heart wrenching expression on Malfoy's face when he'd realized what he had done. He remembered Malfoy forcing him to curse him. He remembered the agony he had caused in Draco's eyes and wondered if Malfoy hadn't intended that to serve a different purpose than what he had claimed.

"Harry," a calm voice addressed him. Harry turned to see Dumbledore standing just inside the doorway.

"Professor," he said, getting to his feet.

"Harry, are you absolutely sure you want to go through with this now?" Dumbledore inquired without further ado.

"Yes, I am," Potter replied instantly. His face was set. "Surely you understand that?"

"I do, Harry," the old wizard agreed. "I simply needed to make sure there is no doubt in your mind. You need to be fully prepared to do what you are about to."

"Professor," Harry started. He felt his face flush slightly at the thought that had just occurred to him. "How am I to find Voldemort? I don't know where he is…"

"But you do, Harry," Dumbledore said. "You have always known. Or rather, you have always had the power to know."

"Professor, I really don't understand," Harry admitted, his tone slightly rushed.

"You have had sensations in your scar due to Voldemort," Dumbledore explained. "You speak Parseltongue because Voldemort can. Why? Because there was a strong bond between you too, one that he put there himself. When he used your blood to bring himself back, Harry, Voldemort –albeit unwillingly –strengthened that bond. While you can no longer feel him the same way you did before, you were attributed other powers instead."

"Alright," Harry mumbled, still quite confused. "But how does that help me find him?"

"Because the same blood runs through his veins as yours," the Headmaster elaborated. "You have a unique ability to call to him. While that on its own cannot bring you to him, nor can it give you a direct location, I believe Mr. Moody has something that will do that for you."

"Always perfect timing, Albus," Moody snickered, limping through the doorway. He was carrying a number of things that Harry could not identify.

"What are all those things?" Harry inquired, suddenly feeling rather uneasy. Moody gave him a crooked smirk.

"These are just a few items that I collected for you to take with you," the Auror explained. "Can come in quite handy when dealing with a number of dark wizards, though they are all only one-time uses, so use them wisely."

Moody handed all the odd little items to Harry, who promptly put them in his pockets. He was worried about being weighed down but they were surprisingly light. Moody still had something in his hand. It was a thick-banded gold and silver ring. There were symbols inscribed around the band that reminded Harry of the runes that he had seen around the rim of Dumbledore's pensieve.

"This, mind you, is what Dumbledore was referring to," Moody explained. "This little item is what's going to be able to get you to Voldemort and, provided you survive, bring you back."

"What about Draco?" Harry asked, taking the ring from Moody.

"Don't worry, Potter," Mad-Eye reassured. "That thing'll transport anything, or anyone, you might be holding along with you. All you have to do is place it around your index and press your thumb to the side and it'll take you where you want. The effect is something like a portkey."

"But, I still don't know how to call to Voldemort," Harry's voice was strained and anxious. Dumbledore placed a hand on Harry's shoulder to calm him.

"All you need to do is concentrate on Voldemort and the ring will pick up the rest," he said, nodding his head softly.

"Now this is important too, Potter," Moody chimed in again. He lifted a thin metal ornament that looked very much like a star with each of the points sharpened to a blade. "As soon as you get wherever you are going, throw this, as hard as you can, straight into the ground. It'll sink in and send a kind of signal to us here so we can come join you."

"You are going to come?" Harry asked, bewildered. Dumbledore smiled.

"You didn't honestly think we'd send you into a snake pit on your own," he whispered. It was not a question.

Both of the older wizards nodded to Harry and turned to leave him alone to prepare himself. Harry watched for a moment as they left then felt something stab at his stomach and walked over to Dumbledore.

"Professor!" he called. He hesitated in his words.

"What is it, Harry?" The old man seemed far too calm for what was about to happen, though that was always Dumbledore's way.

"Professor," he repeated, trying to buy some time. "I'm… I'm going to have to use the Unforgivable curses…aren't I?"

"I suppose that you will have to use at least one of them," Dumbledore admitted to him after a moment's thought.

"But I-…" Harry whispered, thinking of what Draco had tried to teach him earlier. "I don't know if I can. I've never killed someone before… what if I'm not strong enough?"

"Harry," Dumbledore replied, his eyes kind and assuring. "You mustn't doubt yourself. You are a great wizard and have talents beyond that of many adult wizards who spend their lives capturing dark wizards. You must have confidence and remember exactly for who and why it is you are doing this."

Harry thought on that for a moment. Did he really know who he was doing this for? Was he doing it for the worlds he was to save by accomplishing his task? Was he doing it to avenge his parents, Cedric….Sirius? Was he doing it to avenge himself and the terrible events of his life? Was he doing it to fulfill his destiny as the 'Chosen One'?

Harry thought on these many options very quickly and quietly as Dumbledore watched him over his half-moon spectacles. Harry stared into the old wizards eyes and sighed to himself. None of those reasons served to fully explain why he was going to do this. He knew, that had that year passed any differently, he would not be on the verge of facing his mortal enemy. If things had been different he would have waited and put off going to face Voldemort. He would not have been ready to do this yet. But he knew what the reason was and as much as he wished the other reasons were more important, they couldn't be.

He was doing this for Draco, now. Sure his parents and Sirius played in important role in the whole matter, but had Draco not been part of his life he would have waited. He would still be at Hogwarts. He would not be standing in the master bedroom of Number Twelve about to go take on an army of Death-Eaters.

"I'm ready, Professor." Harry nodded to Dumbledore.

He stepped away from his Headmaster, into the clearest area of the room, and concentrated every fiber of his being on Voldemort and Voldemort alone. He felt a rush of cold wash through him and a familiar stinging sensation behind his scar. Assuming that that was sign enough, Harry pressed his thumb to the now glowing ring.

With a dizzying motion and the sudden burst of wind past his ears, Harry began to travel through space to his destination. He just hoped that he wasn't too late.

---IIIII---

Draco felt himself dropped onto the moist grassy ground as he started to pass back into consciousness. His face was against the grass and he was lying on his stomach in a very uncomfortable manner. There was darkness overhead again. He didn't know how long he had been unconscious. It could have been hours; it could have been days.

He opened his eyes a slit to try and make out what was in front of him only to realize that he was face-to-face with a large black (and rather ugly) shoe. He glanced upwards from the shoe and spied the two Death-Eaters that were standing at either ends of him like guards. He was outside the circle, he assumed.

Suddenly there was a soft popping sounds and a gentle groan from somewhere behind him. Everything was quiet if not for this sudden intrusion. He heard muffled footsteps around on the grass and then suddenly there was a strange thud on the ground. The grass and dirt pulsated a brilliant yellow beneath him and Draco bit his lip.

Potter had clearly arrived in the clearing, though by what miracle of magic, he didn't know. He thought quickly and seriously about what it was he was going to have to do. Malfoy frowned and shut his eyes for a moment, wrestling back tears. He knew what needed to be done and it would be the most painful thing he'd ever done, but there was no other way.

He simply hoped that it would work.


	24. Chapter 24

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 24

The clearing was dark and full of fog and mist. The moon was hiding behind a shield of clouds so there was little light to bathe the area. Off in the distance, there was a large black structure silhouetted against the horizon. It looked dilapidated and sad. Harry had never been here before. He supposed that it was foolish to hope that Voldemort would have kept himself at the Riddle House.

He could see no one around him, but was sure that there were Death-Eaters lurking very close-by, just beyond the range of his vision. He glared into the darkness and did as Moody had told him. He chucked the star into the ground with all the force he could manage. It burrowed deep into the ground and sent out a glowing pulse from beneath his feet.

"Why Harry," a silky voice whispered from somewhere unseen. "So nice of you to join us. Although, I must say, you are a tad bit late."

Harry gripped his wand tightly and stood still. He stared in front of himself, straining his ears to detect the direction from which the voice came. He became very aware of the many other people that were present as well. Voldemort stepped forwards out of the fog, looking as hideously inhuman as ever. Harry wasted no time.

"Where is he?" Potter called out. More than a dozen black-cloaked figures stepped forwards into the clearing to circle Harry and Voldemort. His eyes scanned the perimeter quickly, unable to recognize anyone under the masks.

"Where is who?" Voldemort asked, his voice full of breath and deceit. Harry grimaced.

"You know damn well who!" he snapped, his arms shaking. "Where is Malfoy?!"

"Ah, Mr. Malfoy?" Voldemort gestured at one of the black figures. Lucius Malfoy removed his mask and glared maliciously at Harry.

"Don't be an idiot, Riddle!" Potter ordered. Voldemort growled at the use of his muggle name. "That's not the Malfoy I'm after!"

"After?" Voldemort feigned naivety. "Whatever would the wonderful Harry Potter want with a Death-Eater?" Harry was in no mood for games.

"He is no longer a Death-Eater," Harry explained through gritted teeth. His wand hand was yearning to cast a spell. "He is under my supervision and I demand you release him to me! Your war is with me, not him!"

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Voldemort drawled. The Death-Eaters snickered behind their masks of death. "How can I release someone that I'm not holding captive?"

Harry stared at Voldemort for a moment. He frowned in disbelief. The Dark Lord was messing with his head. He had to be. Draco would not go back to the Death-Eaters willingly… he had promised that he wouldn't.

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Potter snapped. His voice was strong but his eyes glimmered momentarily with fear. Voldemort shrugged noncommittally.

"I'm sorry to tell you that Draco returned of his own volition," he said. Harry's pupils contracted and the hairs on the back of his neck rose up.

"You're lying!!" he screamed, holding his wand up to Voldemort. Harry seethed. "Where is he?!"

"Very well, Potter," Riddle accepted. He waved a hand to Harry's left. "Ask him for yourself."

Harry's eyes reluctantly followed the direction of Voldemort's long fingers until he stopped on an area of the circle. There was some rough movement behind the Death-Eaters on the inner-circle before Draco burst through the line of followers with two massive black figures to each side. He wrenched his arms away from the both of them, glaring as they tried to touch him.

"Get your filthy hands off me! I can walk on my own!!" Draco snarled, pushing one of them back into the circle of cloaked people. He finally turned to the centre and his eyes fell on Harry.

Harry stared at him for a few moments. He was speechless and confused. He tried to argue the sight away, claiming it was a joke, or an illusion, or a misunderstanding. Potter took in the tall and lean figure before him. Draco looked strong and defiant. He looked powerful and unharmed but more than anything else, he looked like a Malfoy. He looked the same way he always had looked when they were back at school…as if the past few months had vanished away in the blink of an eye.

"Draco," Harry whispered, his heart falling slowly as though it was going to crash against all his other organs on the way down. Malfoy frowned.

"Watch it, Potter," he snapped, pulling a sneer that seemed all-too familiar. "You've no right to call me by my first name, you filthy half-blood."

Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was staring at Draco as though he was someone completely different than the boy he'd fallen in love with. And he was. He was something completely different. He was rude and insulting. He was evil and cold. There was a ringing in Harry's ear as though signaling that this couldn't be real.

"Careful, Draco," Voldemort warned. "We mustn't be rude to our guest. The niceties must be observed, as I've told Harry before." Harry's eyes flashed to Voldemort for a moment but he ignored him.

"You came back?" Harry asked, staring at the blonde before him. "You came back willingly?!" Draco seemed unbothered.

"Of course I came back, Potter," he spat, the same arrogant expression on his features. "I had a task to complete, after all."

"And well done, Draco," the Dark Lord praised. "You certainly have earned your position among the ranks of your father. I'm quite pleased you've embraced your true calling."

Harry couldn't breathe now. His muscles were tensing and his fist tightened around his wand, the gold ring now digging painfully into his skin. His eyes felt agonizingly dry as he knew there were wells of tears growing from deep inside of him. He could do nothing but stare at Draco for a moment, his mind passing over all of the things they'd done together…all of the love he'd given Draco, all of his body.

"You were in league with him the whole time?!!" he finally managed to utter, though his voice was loud. He wanted to collapse and let them kill him… or else he wanted to kill them all in an instant and torture Draco for the rest of his life…he wanted Draco to suffer like he had done…but he didn't.

"Noble to a fault, weren't you?" Malfoy murmured at him, something of a smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. Harry screwed up his eyes, refusing to cry.

"You were admitted into the Order!" he bellowed, his entire body shaking. "Dumbledore trusted you…. I TRUSTED YOU!"

---IIIII---

Draco's heart tensed and his stomach fell a few feet, possibly through his feet if it could. He stared at Harry. He let himself get screamed at. He let Harry start to hate him. He let it all happen and did nothing to stop it. Indeed, he added to the fires, if anything at all. He had to. Why couldn't Potter understand that?

"Dumbledore's a damned old fool!" he yelled back, trying to get the terrible gnawing feeling out of his stomach through his voice. "And I told you not to trust anyone!! Least of all ME! It's not my fault you're a bloody terrible listener!"

Malfoy could see Potter's heart break as though he was ripping it apart in his own hands. And he was. He was literally tearing Harry's heart out and cutting it to pieces right in front of him. He knew he was but there was nothing he could do. This was the only way…

"You bastard!! You bloody bastard, I hate you!!"

The words cut through him like knives. Draco's eyes were masked and the façade he'd spent so many years perfecting was seamlessly in place but if he could have, he would have fallen apart right there and let himself die on the ground. He desperately wanted Harry to curse him again. He wanted Potter to let all his anger out on him and destroy him so that he didn't have to face himself in the morning.

"Good! Because I damn well hate you too!" he found himself yelling back. He was trying to taunt Harry. He was trying to convince him that he was meaningless. If he did well enough, Harry would have no reason to stay and fight Voldemort. He'd only come because he wanted to save Draco, but if Draco wasn't worth saving…there was no reason to be there. Right?

But Potter wasn't cluing in on that. He wasn't doing as he was supposed to. He was just supposed to disappear the way he'd appeared and be out of this danger. He was supposed to save himself and get away. But he wasn't moving. He was just standing there, staring at Malfoy as though he'd just run over his heart. He was staring at Malfoy in such a disappointed way that Draco whimpered inaudibly. He wished Harry could know how sorry he was…

"Poor Potter," Voldemort whispered, running a finger over Harry's cheek. Draco's anger flared. He had no right to touch Harry. NO RIGHT. "Your damsel in distress turned out to be a snake, didn't he?"

"Get your hands off me," Harry growled, holding his wand up to Voldemort's face. The Dark Lord held up his own wand in return, though he had a smirk on his face.

Draco felt strong hands hold him back and pull him into the circle. The people around him continued to hold him strongly in place. They were not going to let him intervene, but Draco hardly noticed. He only paid attention to the confrontation between Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort.

"Shall we try this again, Harry?" Voldemort was asking. He took a step or two back. Harry did as well, their wands still steady in place.

"I suppose we shall," Potter spat, glaring at the man before him. Voldemort bowed his head to Harry with a smirk.

"Remember the niceties, Harry," he demanded. Harry simply nodded his head. "I hope you are ready to die, Mr. Potter."

"You old fool," Potter whispered, his eyes darting to Draco for a moment. "I'm already dead."

Draco's gasped. The fight began.


	25. Chapter 25

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 25

It was all happening like some sort of sickening dream. Draco watched in paralyzed horror as curses flew back and forth. Flashes of bright light were blinding the circle that marked the inbounds of their duel.

Draco started the struggle against the hands that were holding him in place. He saw Harry run back and forth, trying to avoid the curses. He was throwing spells and curses of his own but they were weak ones, designed to disarm or stun.

Why wasn't Harry using real curses? Had he learned nothing from the night Draco forced him to curse him? Did he think that was all just a game? Did he forget how important it is for him not to be afraid to fight fire with fire?

Draco hyperventilated. He was shaking under the increasing pressure of the people holding him back. He was shaking as he saw Harry crumble to the ground, screaming at the top of his lungs, hit from behind. One of the people in the circle had cast the curse and Draco had a good idea of who.

"You will not touch him!!" Voldemort's powerfully angry voice cried out to his Death-Eaters. He cursed a whole row of people in the direction that the curse originated. Each of them fell to their knees, crying in pain before they got shakily to their feet, nodded their apology and closed the circle again. "He is mine and mine alone!!"

"HE'S NOT!" Draco found himself screaming. Everyone fell silent and Harry stared up at him from the ground. His green eyes were wrought with confusion and anger. Draco blanched, realizing he had lost face.

Voldemort whipped his wand and pinned Harry in position, making it impossible for him to move or escape. The Dark Lord stared at Draco and stepped towards him, the cold empty eyes burning a hole into Draco's chest. Malfoy did not back down. He stood as proud as was possible and let his anger take over him.

"What was that, Malfoy?" he asked silkily. Draco was clearly treading on thin ice.

"He's not yours!!" he hollered, hatred staining his tone. "You can't have him!!"

Voldemort looked slightly taken aback before a malevolent look hit him. He held his wand gracefully up to Draco's neck and tilted his head. Draco had the impulse to spit but stayed his tongue and stared deep into Riddle's eyes.

"Something you would like to share with the class, Draco?" he hissed, pressing the tip of his wand into Malfoy's jugular.

"He's mine!" he admitted. His eyes darted to Harry whose face was shining and wet. He didn't know if Harry was crying of if it was just the sweat. "He's mine and I won't let you have him!"

"You just claimed that you hated him," Voldemort recalled, pressing the wand harder against Draco's neck. "He hates you and you hate him."

"I LIED!" Draco was sweating now. He was quivering and sweating and adrenaline was rushing through him like poison, forcing him to continued hanging himself. "I love him!! I love him and you can't have him! Keep your dirty hands off him, you bastard!"

Draco was sure that no one was expecting that. Voldemort's lips curled into a snarl and he lifted his wand to Draco's temple instead. Harry said nothing. Draco's eyes were trained on the black-haired boy, trying to read what he was thinking through his eyes. He knew that it must have been hard for him to believe. He wouldn't believe himself, in Harry's situation.

"Should we take a look at just what it is you've been doing to gain young Harry's trust?" Voldemort whispered. He touched the tip of his wand to Draco's forehead and forcibly pulled the memory from his head. Malfoy screamed. He felt as though his brain was being ripped in half. His eyes were watering from the pain.

By the time he opened them again, there was a massive silver display in the centre of the clearing between Harry and Draco. Their two silver images were pressed together and kissing, naked in all their glory, to be taken in by every Death-Eater. Draco stood frozen, staring, not at the pictures, but at Harry. Potter's face was flushed a dark red and he shut his eyes.

"STOP!" Draco ordered, his tone full of anger and hatred. Voldemort waved the images away.

"Lucius," his voice called, his eyes trained on Draco. "You never mentioned that your son was…"

"My Lord, I assure you," Lucius' Malfoy's voice interrupted before the Dark Lord could finish his sentence. "I had no idea!"

"Liar," Draco spat quietly. Lucius stared at his son and Draco could feel the burning hole his father was attempting to make in his chest despite the mask.

"No matter," Voldemort sneered. "I guess Mr. Malfoy will simply have to watch as I destroy his beloved. I daresay, though… Potter, do you feel the same way about Draco? Or are his feelings unrequited?"

The curse was released from Harry and he got quickly to his feet, training his wand on Voldemort. His face was set and sullen, but he seemed lost and confused. Draco mentally kicked himself for being such a fool.

"Malfoy might be a liar," Harry spat. "But I'm not. I hate the bloody bastard."

"Pity, Draco," Voldemort mocked. "Suppose you'll have to watch him die with a broken heart."

---IIIII---

Harry had fought for what felt like hours not to cry. He wanted to kill Draco. He wanted to do something terrible to him. He had no idea if what he was saying was true now, or if he was still lying. He could never tell. He would likely never be able to tell.

"Very well, then," Voldemort brushed the topic away. "Where were we? Oh, yes… Crucio!"

The spell flew at Harry, but this time he didn't dodge it. Without a moment's thought, he picked out one of the objects Moody gave him and threw it forwards. It erupted into a golden wall and the spell rebounded off it to hit some unsuspecting Death-Eater to Voldemort's right. As soon as the spell hit, the wall vanished, however, and Harry was vulnerable again.

"Expelliarmus!!" Harry screamed, refusing to use the curses he knew he had to. Voldemort brushed the charm away and stepped forwards shaking his head.

"You'll get nowhere like that!" He raised his wand again and Harry dodged. He began to run again and threw out all sorts of items that Moody had given him. He knew he was supposed to use them sparingly but he didn't have time to think now.

Every so often there was a scream of pain or a reflection of light. The circle broke apart and Harry pass through one of the holes to try and gain some distance. He jumped behind a tree. The tree took the hit and died instantly. Harry gasped, heaving for breath. He tossed out another item and shrieking screams erupted, deafening his opponents.

He heard a multitude of voices, human voices, screaming curses and new jets of light were streaking the night air. Harry sprinted out from his hiding spot and cried a number of curses in the direction of the Death-Eaters. He chucked out the last of his magical items and some of the Death-Eaters instantly fell to the ground, paralyzed or petrified in some way.

Harry was running out of breath and energy and was desperately wondering why Moody and the rest of the Order had not yet arrived to help him out. He jumped and dodged more curses when he realized that all the Death-Eaters were attacking back and forth now. He was fighting one against twenty and there was no way he was going to win this one.

More and more shadowy figures seemed to start spilling out from the trees. Harry screamed, hit again and again by the Cruciatus curse. He was also hit by the Imperius curse once or twice and had to fight for a moment or two to break it before he could act on anything else. He didn't know where Voldemort was at this point. He didn't know who he was cursing or what was going on.

He weaved his way in and out of the masses of black-cloaked people and tried to find his initial target again. Then it hit him hard. He fell to the ground screaming in pain as he felt white hot agony spread over his bones and roast his organs and muscles. He twitched and shuddered on the ground, his scar burning and threatening to crack open his skull.

When he opened his eyes, he found himself lying face to face with a dead man. Wormtail's cowardly eyes stared at him, devoid of life or warmth. He gasped and struggled to push himself away from the fallen traitor.

"Trying to get away from me, Harry?" Voldemort's snake-like voice called from behind him.

Harry didn't have time to answer; he was forced to roll over to avoid being hit by a falling wizard who took a spell that was clearly not meant for him. He looked at the man on his other side. McNair was dead now too. Who else had been killed and who was doing the killing?

Potter glanced around quickly, getting to his feet and holding his wand out in front of him. He searched in the tumultuous crowd for Draco but couldn't spot him. He couldn't see Voldemort either. Panic rose up in his chest as he stared into the chaos.

"Avada Kedavra!!" The words rang out from behind Harry. He spun around fast enough to see something surreal unfold before him.

As if in slow motion, Harry watched a shadowy figure move in front of him and take the curse straight in the chest. The green light hit the man's body and then refracted in much smaller jets of light, hitting nearby trees and people. Harry felt his mouth move and his voice formulate some word but he couldn't hear himself. His eyes were stuck on the vision of silver-blonde hair that he could see just splayed out over the grass past the shoulder of the fallen Death-Eater.

Everything stopped. No one moved but Harry now. He didn't know if he was breathing. He couldn't feel air enter or leave his lungs, anyway. He didn't even know if his heart was really beating but he heard a deafening sound in his ears that reminded him of a heartbeat. He fell to his knees and, as though it would dispel his fears, he turned the body over.

Draco Malfoy's face was pale and empty. His eyes were closed and his body was motionless. His clothes were torn and tattered over his chest, revealing a massive wound. Blood spread and stained his shirt and cloak. Despite that this made little sense, Harry couldn't bring himself to look away. He couldn't bring himself to move.

He looked up very slowly and raised his wand to Voldemort, who was standing just above him in the same position. Harry's lips parted softly.

"Avada Kedavra!!"


	26. Chapter 26

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 26

Everything was bright and white and comfortable. There was a soft humming in the distance and the air was warm. His hair tickled his cheeks softly as it brushed over them. There was a wonderful sense of listlessness in this place. There was no one around him. There was nothing to hurt him, nothing to taunt him, nothing to judge him. He felt free and happy. He felt…he felt…

He felt.

Draco opened his eyes a slit to get a glance around him. The room was softly lit but there was some invasive white light coming from his left. His muscles were stiff and there was a numbed pain stinging his chest. He tried to sit up but couldn't bring himself to.

Opening his eyes a little more fully, he groaned softly at the acute pain he felt because of the light. He turned his head slightly and saw a window. The blinds were drawn and the sun was shining outside. There wasn't a cloud in the sky.

He turned his attention back to the pain in his chest. His torso was covered in tight white bandages. They were stained red in a few spots but were otherwise untainted. The sheets were pulled neatly over his stomach and he seemed to be wearing some sort of generic gown.

He looked up around the room. The wallpaper was muted and serene. The door was off to the right and there was a little square window over the handle. To his right, Draco saw a curtain with an ugly floral pattern, pulled all the way across to shield the next bed from view.

He was in the hospital.

For a moment, he let the whole idea sink in and calmly accepted this reality. The next moment, his heart began to race and his head spun. He remembered being in the clearing with Voldemort and Harry appearing. He remembered fighting and cursing people. He remembered perhaps a little less than he would have liked, but he did have the distinct impression that there was something wrong with this picture. He had taken the blow of the killing curse for Harry.

He should be dead.

His mind slowly started tempting different possibilities –such as this is what the afterlife was like, or he'd hit his head hard and imagined the whole scenario, or even that he was completely mad and committed to St-Mungo's interminably for his insanity –when a nurse walked through the door.

"Oh! Mr. Malfoy, you're up!" she exclaimed cheerily. She walked over to him and began to arrange his pillows so that he might sit up.

His whole body ached as though he had spent his life holding up the earth. He grimaced and leaned forwards to let the pillows fall comfortably. Draco had to take a moment to recover from the movement before he remembered his confusion.

"W-where am I?" he asked, stammering. By the look on his face, he expected the worst.

"You're in the hospital, Mr. Malfoy," she explained, mildly worried for his memory. She held a hand to his forehead just to make sure he wasn't running a fever. "I'm the nurse at your service for today. My name is Fiona, if you need anything."

Draco stared at her for a moment as though he couldn't believe she was acting so normal. There was something seriously out of whack with the whole situation and he wanted to know precisely what. His mouth hung open and his eyes expressed a great deal of dissatisfaction. At least it must have because the nurse frowned at him.

"Why am I here?" he finally asked, hoping to get a better response. She looked incredulous.

"You were badly wounded," she explained, nodding to his bandages. "Near fatal, actually. You were very lucky."

Draco frowned and screwed up his eyes. He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair in a manner that suggested he was attempting to wake himself up from an unbelievable dream.

"Ok, let's try this a different way," he murmured, looking up at Fiona again. "Last I remember I was in a massive battle with You-Know-Who, his Death-Eaters and Harry Potter. Now I'm here and I would really like to know what happened during that whole time because I'm pretty sure I took a curse for Harry, to save his life. As far as I know, I should be dead. My question is now, what am I doing _here_ instead of, say, in the afterlife??"

The nurse blinked at him and then pursed her lips. She clearly did not appreciate the attitude in his tone. She replaced his file at the end of the bed and walked up to him.

"To tell you the truth, Mr. Malfoy, we've no idea why you are here and not dead," she admitted. Her expression softened, as though she was looking at a family member. She smiled. "As I said, you were very lucky… but I won't tell you all the details. Someone better informed will be coming to tell you all you need to know."

"But-…Who?" Draco asked. He perked up a bit and hope shone in his grey eyes. He hoped very dearly that Harry would be the one to come see him. She looked pensive for a moment.

"I believe it's Dumbledore himself who is coming to see you," she said, smiling happily. He sat back, crestfallen. "I'll be back to check in on you later."

"Wait!" Draco cried, motioning for her to stay. "What happened to Harry Potter?"

She paused and stared into his face as though looking for some unkind motivations. Seeing that there didn't seem to be any, she looked at the floor briefly before walking back over to him.

"We don't really know what's happened to him either," she replied quietly. Without another word, she turned and left.

Draco stared at the spot in which she had stood for a very long time after she was gone. His eyes were distant and lost. He felt empty and cold now, despite the warmth of the room. He felt isolated and alone, despite the fact that he knew there were other patients in the room with him, just behind the curtain.

He had failed. His attempt to save Harry's life must have failed. He must have missed or something. That was the only possible explanation for his still being alive. He didn't actually get hit by Voldemort's killing curse. He was hit by something else and fell unconscious. He fell unconscious and Harry got the full blast of the curse and died. He was gone…

"He's gone…" Draco murmured. The air caught in his chest and the pain increased but he didn't care. He had made the most heinous mistake of his life and had lost the only person he'd ever really cared about for it.

"Our loved ones are never really gone from us," a wise and comforting old voice said. Draco looked up to see Dumbledore standing in the doorway. His face was pleasantly calm and almost happy. He walked over and sat next to Draco on one of the hospital chairs. "As long as we have memories and love for them in our hearts then they shall be with us forever."

"Professor, I-" Draco whispered, wanting to apologize for his foolishness. He half hoped that Dumbledore would get very angry with him and berate him for having triggered the events of Harry's downfall.

"Draco, you must know that none of what happened in the clearing was your fault," the old wizard interrupted immediately. He smiled at Malfoy.

"But it was! I went on my own will! Harry came to save me and now…" he couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence. Dumbledore placed a soft hand on his shoulder.

"None of that matters, Draco," he whispered. "Harry did what he did because of his love for you."

"But I betrayed him… again…" Malfoy mumbled, staring at his fingers as he wrung them. "I should have died…. I tried to save him and yet… I'm still here…why am I still here??" He looked up at the ceiling, his eyes filled with tears.

"You are still here because of Harry," Dumbledore explained. "The protection he was for you was stronger than any magical charm we could have used. You didn't die for the same reason he went to rescue you. He wouldn't have made a very good hero if he hadn't managed to save the one person he'd gone for, now would he?"

"But I didn't deserve rescuing!!" Draco exclaimed. "And he said he hated me… how could his love have protected me?"

"People say many things in the throws of anger that they do not mean in the slightest," he replied. "Love is definitely not something that can be waved away so easily. Even if Harry was angry with you, or felt you betrayed him, the defense his love gave you was always just as strong. You didn't die because you couldn't die…not with him near you."

"I still don't understand," the blonde muttered, frustrated and hurt. Dumbledore nodded.

"No one really understands the finer aspects of love," he admitted. "I daresay we never will. But we can learn to embrace it and cherish it when we are so lucky as to have it."

"Professor," he whispered, thinking about what he had just been told. "What happened…that night? After I got knocked out, or whatever…"

Dumbledore looked up for a moment and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He thought for a few moments, considering Draco. He nodded.

"Lord Voldemort was destroyed," he answered. "Harry killed him, though he did have to pay a high price for it. Within moments of that, the Order wizards appeared, along with Ministry officials, and caught the rampant Death-Eaters. They were the ones who brought you here, Draco."

Draco was in shock. He turned over his arm and stared at the Dark Mark. It was already fading away, the magic that bound it there having been destroyed. He felt simultaneously like crying and laughing. Harry had done it… he had managed to kill Voldemort, after all. An immense sense of pride grew in Draco's chest as he though of Potter. He smiled very slightly, tears streaming from his eyes.

"Well hello there, Albus!" Fiona had returned. She greeted Dumbledore cheerfully.

"Good morning Fiona," Dumbledore courteously responded. He smiled warmly at her.

"Mr. Malfoy! What's wrong?" she asked, noticing Draco's tears. He was holding his head and shaking from the mixed impulses to laugh and sob.

"He did it. He actually did it!" he said, his words coming out in chunks between his gasps and heaving sobs. "I'm so proud of him… but… but I can't believe he's…. I can't believe he's dead…"

The words hard hardly escaped him before he let everything go and let his sadness wash over him. He wanted to hit himself for being the cause of it. He wanted to scream and throw himself out the window, but there was something else in his feelings. He was happy. He was overwhelmed with joy at knowing that Harry had managed to defeat the darkest wizard of all time. He had managed to save the world… he really was the hero everyone had seen him as. Draco thought of his face and couldn't help but cry harder.

"What are you talking about, Mr. Malfoy?" Fiona asked, quite confused.

"Harry Potter…" he whispered, realizing he hadn't specified.

"Yes, that's just it," she agreed, the same look of confusion on her features. "He's not dead."

Draco's head snapped up and the tears stopped. His face was wet and shining from crying. His eyes were red and contrasted terribly with the cold grey of his irises. He shook his head at her, lost and out of the loop.

"You said you didn't know what happened to him!" he said, staring at her.

"We don't know what's happened to him," she admitted. "But he's certainly not dead."

Before Draco could say a word, she pulled back the curtain next to his bed. There on the next hospital cot, lying as motionless as a corpse, was Harry. His glasses were off, folded on the table next to him, and his eyes were closed. He didn't seem to be hurt at all but he wasn't moving and didn't appear to be breathing. Draco sat frozen in his position, staring at the boy he loved.

"Harry…"

A/N: I would just like to remark that this is not the last chapter, either. Eheheheh I also hope you didn't hate me too much for my messing with their lives there. Eheheh the next chapter should be up soon.


	27. Chapter 27

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 27

So many words were thrown around and muffled voices continued discussing things behind him. These things did not matter, however. They meant nothing to Draco as he stared into the unmoving face of Harry Potter. The words exchanged between the nurse and the Headmaster could not have been anything but meaningless pleasantries in comparison to the weight of what he had just learned.

He got gingerly to his feet, pushing the sheets of the bed away. His muscles were shaking and clearly unprepared for such a bold move, but Draco didn't care. His heart was pounding in his throat and he forced himself to walk over to the next bed. He trembled as he stood next to the comatose boy, his fingers longing to reach out and touch Harry's face. He wanted to brush the black locks away from his eyes. He wanted to run his finger over that legendary scar and he wanted to press his lips against Harry's mouth.

He wanted to somehow fill Harry's motionless body with life and energy through a kiss; as though his love for Potter and his immense sense of pride in his actions could have woken him from the subconscious. He held out a finger and ran it carefully over the folded part of Harry's sheets. He longed deeply to hold him and caress his cheek. He wanted to comfort him and let him know that it was all alright and that he was safe.

"Alright, well I'll be back to check in on you later, Mr. Malfoy," nurse Fiona's voice said before he heard the door close. Silence filled the room momentarily.

Draco knew that Dumbledore was still there. He knew that the old wizard was watching him closely and he knew that he was definitely more informed about Harry's predicament than the nurses were. He knew this because Dumbledore knew everything. He had to. He was Dumbledore.

"Professor…" Malfoy began slowly, his eyes refusing to leave Harry's face, if only for a moment. He looked so beautiful while he slept. "What happened to Harry?"

There was a long silence. Draco heard some movement behind him. Dumbledore was perhaps shifting positions or getting to his feet. Draco couldn't bring himself to turn around and see. It didn't matter what Dumbledore was doing, anyway. He wouldn't let Harry out of his sight.

"Draco, before I tell you anything," Dumbledore began quietly. "You must know that what Fiona said a moment ago was true; we know very little about this kind of thing."

"Yes, but Professor," he interjected. "You must know more than they do…. Please, tell me. I know I don't deserve it but… please…"

"What makes you think you don't deserve to know?" the old wizard asked. His voice was politely inquiring, though he sounded very much like a teacher.

"Because it's my fault he's like this…I betrayed him and all of you," Draco replied. He bit his lip as he spoke. He felt as though he was confessing to Harry, not Dumbledore. He wanted so badly for Harry to wake up and smile at him. He wanted Potter to forgive him and take him into his arms and never let go. But that wasn't going to happen…

"You are human, Draco," Dumbledore said wisely. "You make mistakes much like anyone else does. Harry has made mistakes as well. I have made mistakes. I daresay I've made more mistakes than most in my long life, but the point is: we all do. Harry would have faced Voldemort eventually, with or without your influence. You were simply a raindrop, Draco. You were not the flood."

"But I broke my word!" he snapped. A look of disgust ghosted over his face at the thought of it. "I promised him I wouldn't go back to them. I promised I wouldn't go back and I went back anyway!"

Silence fell again. Dumbledore walked quietly around Draco and the bed to Harry's other side. He considered Draco carefully before making a comment. Malfoy would not look at him. He was watching Harry with rapt eyes, as though under the impression that he was going to wake up at any moment.

"You didn't go back to betray him," Dumbledore uttered quietly. He wasn't asking it. Draco's mouth became as thin line as he sucked his lips to keep from crying. He didn't answer. "You had no intention of returning to serve Voldemort. You went back because of something else. You needn't tell me what that reason was, but I'm sure that deep down, Harry knows as well as you do that you never meant to hurt him."

"How can you know that??" Draco asked. He was disbelieving and in pain. His chest was stinging from the strange pain under the bandages. He made no motion to ease his own pain; he treated it like his punishment and took every stab without complaint.

"As I said, Draco," he replied. "We know little of these matters, even in the wizarding world, but Love is a fantastic thing and little can overturn it or reroute it."

Draco shook his head. He didn't want to believe what the Headmaster was telling him. He didn't want to buy into the hope that Harry really did love him and wouldn't hate him for the rest of eternity. He didn't want to set himself up for that supreme disappointment because he knew the moment would come when that hope would be dashed to pieces and he would be worse off than he was now.

"Please tell me what happened to him…" Draco whispered, unable to take their conversation any longer.

"I don't know all the details," Dumbledore answered. "I do know that he killed Voldemort with the killing curse. He somehow cast his first and hit Voldemort in the chest. We found Riddle's body next to the two of you. Harry was slumped over you, still warm but in a coma-like sleep."

"He was over me?" Malfoy was picturing that night in his mind, desperate to feel that warmth of Harry's body against his.

"Yes," Dumbledore admitted, smiling gently. "It seems he took you into his arms when he thought you were dead. We had quite some trouble to bring you both here, actually. His body refused to let you go."

A sharp breath cut through Draco's lungs as he gasped. He normally would have put up a front and some beautifully cool façade to deal with these kinds of things. He was a Malfoy and that was what they did. But Draco realized that there was nothing behind being 'a Malfoy' anymore. There were no more Malfoys. His father was likely dead or in Azkaban and his mother was dead. The rest of his relatives were likely in similar conditions. He was alone night. He didn't care. He wasn't going to hide how he felt anymore.

"And why is he like this?" he asked softly, dreading the answer.

"Taking someone's life is never without repercussion," the Headmaster explained knowledgeably. "Harry is very young to do something like this. He had a massive burden to bear, something that few others could ever understand. Killing does terrible things to the soul. It tore a piece of Harry's soul to kill Voldemort and be rid of him forever… It is impossible to know exactly why he ended up this way. It is probably his body's reaction to such a heinously painful experience."

Draco couldn't stand anymore. He let his knees snap forwards and collapsed onto Harry's bed. The thought of anything tearing any piece of Harry apart was too much for him. He knew that killing someone was terrible and had monumental repercussions on the killer, but he had never known that. He would have never made Harry use the Unforgivable curses at all if he had known that. He would have told Harry to run. He would have stolen him away and taken him as far as possible to protect him from that.

"When will he wake up?" Draco whispered, pearly tears streaming down his cheeks.

"We can't know that," Dumbledore admitted. "His condition is one that can be interminable. To wake him up, he would need something to stir him out of it. We've tried many things, but perhaps you can succeed where we have failed…"

Draco stared at Harry for a long moment. He thought on Dumbledore's words and something small occurred to him. Without a moment's though, Draco leaned forwards and brushed the tip of Harry's nose with his own. He stared at the image of Potter's face so close to his own and pressed their lips together. He held the embrace for a moment, not wanting to pull away. He finally leaned back, though, and held Harry's face with his fingertips as though looking for a sign of life.

Harry didn't move.

"Draco," Dumbledore whispered, placing a hand on Draco's shoulder. "You must also remember that Harry has suffered great emotional pain. A broken heart and a wounded soul make a combination of wounds that cannot heal quickly. I think Harry just needs some time."

Then something occurred to Draco.

"Professor," he asked. Dumbledore stopped just before the door, about to leave. "How long has it been since that night?"

"Two months," he answered. "It's July seventh."

----IIIII-----

Draco threw out the week-old flowers from the vase and replaced them with a fresh bouquet. He tipped a florist's potion into the vase and placed it back on the bedside table. He picked up the little tube of chapstick, sat himself next to Harry on the cot and ran the soft stick over the boy's lips. He brushed the dark hair aside, revealing Harry's scar, and laid down next to him on the bed.

It had been three and a half weeks since Draco first woke up and found out that the war was over; three weeks since he'd first seen the effect that it all had taken on Harry. He hadn't left his side since.

The nurses had told him he was able to leave but Draco refused. He told them he needed to stay. He had given up his bed and took to sleeping in the chair next to Harry's bed. On occasion, he would lie down next to Harry, much like he was doing now, and fall asleep next to him, dreaming of the day when Potter would wake up.

He would use the bathroom adjacent to the hospital room to shower and clean up every morning. He would only leave the room to go to the hospital cafeteria and pick up some food. He never, ever returned without a meal for Harry as well. If Harry didn't wake up, he'd give the food to the other patients, or sometimes to one of the visitors that Harry got.

He wrapped an arm around Harry and held him close. He'd spent a lot of the time there in the hospital thinking. He thought of his mother and father. He thought of the Death-Eaters and of the Order. He wondered what had happened to all of them now. He read the Daily Prophet whenever he got the chance, but there was nothing particularly forthcoming about the subjects he was particularly interested in. Most of the stories were about Harry and the Order and few of them had much truth behind them.

The Daily Prophet was going downhill…

"'Ello Mr. Malfoy," a bright and cheery woman's voice greeted. A small brunette walked into the room carrying a clipboard. "How are you today?"

"I'm as can be expected, Giselle," he answered truthfully. He gave her a small smile, running his fingers through Harry's hair. He made no attempt to move. She sighed, exasperated at the sight of them.

"You should head home, perhaps," she suggested to no avail. "We'll take good care of Mr. Potter while you're gone. You should go get a proper night's sleep or at least some daylight."

Draco shook his head.

"I'm fine here," he answered with a small smile. "I need to stay. I love him and I'm never going to leave him again…"

----IIIII----

There was a soft but bright light coming from somewhere. A warm weight was pushing down on his stomach but it was comforting and caring. He could hear voices. He couldn't understand what was being said, but he didn't really care just then. He felt calm and happy. His entire body was heavy, each of his limbs feeling as though they were a ton of bricks. Someone was playing gently with his hair and he felt little shiver run down his spine. He nuzzled his head into the touch and opened his eyes.

Harry found himself in what looked like a hospital room. It was sunny and bright despite the mundane decorations. His vision was blurred, but he figured that all hospitals rooms really looked the same, as though they were all cast from the same mold. He looked down at his stomach and saw that the warm weight on his torso was an arm. Following the trail of the limb his eyes made their way up a body and finally to a face. Still, through the blur, he would never mistake that blonde hair anywhere.

Draco was staring at him, wide-eyed and shocked. He looked like he was frozen in time for a moment or two before he shook himself out of the stupor and leaned over to hand Harry his glasses. Harry put them on and a similar look of shock drew itself on his face.

"Draco?" he asked quietly, a little concerned. "Am….. am I dead?"

"N-no," he answered. He spoke very much like a person who cannot believe what is happening but plays along with it nonetheless.

"But…aren't you dead?" he asked softly, unable to lift his head at all. Draco smiled at him and shook his head. "I saw Voldemort kill you…"

"He hit me with the curse," Draco explained, a strange sadness drawn over his face. "But I didn't die… you protected me."

Harry was in disbelief. He tried hard to lift his arm; putting much more energy and thought into it than he should have required, before he was able to bring his hand around to caress Draco's face. Draco cupped his hand around Harry's and smiled. He seemed so relieved.

"I don't understand," he whispered. His breath caught in his chest, remembering that night. "Draco, you…"

"I know I did some terrible things, Harry," he interrupted quickly. "But I never meant to hurt you… I never meant to betray you. I love you, Harry…I love you."

Harry heaved a dry and quiet sob, pulling his hand away carefully. He wanted to believe Draco but his heart didn't quite like the idea so much. He licked his lips. They tasted like cherry.

"Draco, how could you think that breaking your promise and going back to them wasn't going to hurt me?" His eyes glanced around the room. There were flowers in a vase next to his bed and a box on the chair next to him.

"I didn't go back to hurt you, Harry," he answered, casting his eyes away. "I went back to protect you."

"How is that?" Harry bit his tongue for a moment, trying to understand Draco's thinking.

"I got a letter from my father that day," he mumbled. "Or at least I thought it was from him. Anyway, it said that Voldemort had inside information and was prepared to do anything to destroy me. It said that he would destroy everything within a ten kilometer radius of me if he had to. He was going to come for me that night if I didn't show up first. It said he knew I was with you and he would torture you and kill you first, just to make me suffer. I thought that meant he knew where the Order was so I went to stop him. I couldn't let him hurt you, so I went to kill him…but it didn't turn out that way."

"I don't really understand how that can make sense to you," Potter answered. "When I got there, you said all those terrible things… what was that for? Didn't you know I would come for you?"

"Harry, I was an idiot," he admitted, pleading. "I didn't think you'd come for me. I hoped you would just think… I don't know. I didn't want you to come. Then when you did I thought that if I pretended to hate you, you would hate me too and leave, knowing I wasn't worth saving."

"You're a bloody fool, then," Harry said. "No matter how much I wanted to hate you then, I couldn't. I love you, you idiot. It doesn't change that easily."

"I know that now," he chuckled softly. He looked up at Harry with hopeful eyes. "Does that mean you still love me? Even after what a prat I've been?"

"I guess so, you did save my life," Harry admitted, with a small smile. Then something hit him. "You were bleeding a lot when I was holding you… what was that?"

Without answering, Draco unbuttoned his shirt and removed it, revealing his chest. There was a long thing scar over his chest that branched out just over his heart. It looked something akin to a star. Harry raised a hand and traced a finger over it, much like Draco once did to his own scar.

"You have a scar… like me," he whispered with a little smile. Draco smiled too, enjoying the touch.

"Yeah," he agreed. "But yours is sexy. Mine is right over my chest. It's kind of ugly."

Harry smiled and pulled Draco towards him with the one hand he had that seemed to be working. He kissed Draco deeply. The blonde wrapped his arms around Harry and held him close. Harry pulled away briefly with a small smirk.

"I think it's hot." Harry ran his fingers through Draco's hair and down the nape of his neck. His hand fell on something he hadn't noticed. Pushing the blonde away to look him over, he saw a black band around Draco's neck with a snake pendant, wrapped in on itself. "When did you get that?" he asked, fingering the pendant.

"I've had this for a long time," he whispered. Draco slid his hand into his pocket and pulled out another black band. Pulling the band out, he held it out to show Harry. It had a small pendant in the shape of a Snitch. "This one is for you…"

"You never did explain to me why you wanted to give me a necklace," Harry teased softly, taking the pendant in his hand to run his fingertip over it. Draco flushed a soft pink.

"I wanted to give you something," he began, mildly embarrassed. "Something to show the world that you are mine… I figured you would like the Snitch one better."

Harry stared at him for a few moments and smiled. He took the necklace into his hands and tied it around Draco's neck instead. Then he pulled the Snake necklace around, undid the clasp and took it from him. Draco seemed perplexed.

"I want this one, then," he said coyly.

"Why?" Malfoy asked, confused. Harry brought the silver pendant to his lips for a moment.

"Because this one represents you better," he answered, holding it out for Draco to tie around his neck. "And I don't ever want there to be any doubt."

Draco bit his lip and smiled brightly at the boy. Tying the Snake necklace around Harry's neck, he bent over and kissed him softly on the ear. Then he pulled back and kissed him full on the lips, licking the cherry lipbalm through the embrace. Harry smiled into the kiss and pulled Draco close, but he moved away to look into Harry's eyes.

"By the way," he added, his grey eyes shining. "Happy Birthday, Harry."


	28. Epilogue

Darker Side of Me –Epilogue

The breeze was soft and comfortable, calling softly through the rustling leaves of the wood. The house was massive and rather intimidating. It was beautifully designed and had the kind of prestige of old classic wealth. He supposed that it had charm, in its own way. It had centuries of history and if those walls could talk, the intricate tales they could spin would likely put any author to shame.

Malfoy Manor sat alone and isolated atop a hill. It was surrounded by trees and lush grass. The grounds spread out for acres around it and had it not been so well kept, one might assume it was haunted. It was the most prized legacy of the Malfoy family; after the pure blood, anyway. It was his entire family's history and memory and it all belonged to Draco now.

His father had been killed in the chaos of that night with Voldemort. He didn't think it was a terrible loss. He knew it would happen eventually. None of his close relatives had survived, as far as he knew, and his parents had left him the entire estate, fortune, manor and all. He was likely the richest seventeen year old in the entire wizarding world, at this point. The Malfoy estate was of one of the oldest wealthy lines in their world. The money alone, without counting all the priceless artifacts the family owned, would have been able to provide for an entire country.

Draco frowned. He had always lived in luxury and wanted for nothing but, somehow, now that all seemed meaningless. He stood in front of his house, staring up at the ornate architecture and finding himself unable to move forwards.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Harry's voice punctured his thoughts. "We could always live here, you know. I mean, this house has been in your family for years, right?"

"Centuries…possibly longer," he whispered, his eyes trained on the little details of the façade of the manor.

"There, see?" Potter said. "And it's in great condition and everything. We could just as easily stay here, I know this must mean a lot to you."

Draco tore his gaze away from the house and looked to the boy –or well, man, considering they were both of age now –next to him. He smiled briefly and shook his head.

"This house was never home," he explained. "It means something to me in the sense that it did belong to every generation of Malfoy to ever live, but I have no emotional attachment to it." He looked back at the house for a moment. "Besides, Grimmauld Place is more meaningful. It was your Godfather's house and my cousin's. We both have links to that."

"Yeah," Harry agreed, something tainting his voice. "But there is little of Sirius in that house. It's just Kreacher and the old wailing portrait of Mrs. Black. The only thing I would want from there is the Black Family Tapestry and anything that belonged to Sirius. The rest means little to me." He cast his eyes down and Draco took a step closer to him. "Besides, by the looks of this place, it would be hard to get you accustomed to living in such small quarters." He laughed softly and Draco smiled.

"Doesn't your family own a house like this, anyway?" Draco asked, picking up on a vague memory. "In…Godric's Hollow or something?"

"Yeah… I guess they do," he whispered, looking up. "But I've never been there. How did you know about it? I don't even know where it is. It was under the Fidelius Charm too… I guess that's broken now, though."

"Voldemort," Malfoy answered simply. The darker man looked into his grey eyes with a smirk. "We can always find it."

"You really want to get rid of this house?" he asked, slightly amazed. Draco had suggested they sell Malfoy Manor. Preferably to a muggle family.

"Well, I guess I could keep ownership and just rent it out," he muttered, vaguely knowing that he'd be haunted by the ghosts of his dead ancestors if he did let it pass into muggle hands. "But I would so like to stick it to my father by giving this to some muggle family. That and I have this sadistic desire to see what the Manor would do to the muggles…"

"Apparently even your house is prejudice," Harry snorted as he began to walk towards the entrance. Draco followed suit with a very Malfoy smirk on his face.

"Only from years of training," he added, catching up with Harry. They pushed past the massive ebony entrance doors. The ground inside was marble and granite. In the centre of the entrance hall, imprinted onto the ground, was an ornate depiction of the Malfoy family crest.

There were paintings of all sorts arranged on the walls. Long green draperies were hanging from the wall-length windows and there were statues and sculptures set about to decorate the foyer. The sprawling staircases were polished wood, covered with soft green and silver carpets. A Malfoy family tapestry hung, well illuminated, on the wall to the left. It was much cleaner and in far better condition than the Black family one, but the difference was that there were far fewer Malfoys still alive than there were Blacks.

In fact, Draco was the only one left, it seemed.

He walked in and stared at the tapestry for a moment. Harry followed him and ran his fingers over some of the names on the wall. His mouth fell open slightly and he turned to Draco.

"You're the only one left?" he asked softly. His eyes were sad and concerned. Draco kissed him softly.

"I am," he answered quietly. "I suppose I'll be the end of the Malfoy line."

Harry stared at him for a moment. He looked as though he felt culpable for the destruction of one of the oldest families in the wizarding world. Draco raised an eyebrow at him with a small smile. He would never had assumed Harry to care much about keeping up a family name. In fact, he was quite sure Potter had been against it for the most part.

"Trust me, Harry," Draco assured him, wrapping his arms around Potter and pulling him close. "That's no big loss to any aspect of the world. I don't need the Malfoy name. All I need is you."

"Really?" Harry whispered, leaning into Draco's arms. Draco laughed.

"Yes," he answered. "And if worse comes to worst, I can always get Pansy to bear me a child." Harry frowned and smacked Malfoy.

"That's not funny," he spat, fighting a smile. "Are you going to be taking all these things? Or leave them for the new inhabitant?"

Draco considered that for a moment. Most of the items were incredibly valuable in some way. Many of them were also dark artifacts that bore terrible magic. He supposed he should take those. He also considered and decided to keep all of his father's library and his mother's fine jewelry. And the Tapestry. He didn't know why but it had always been important to him.

"I guess we'll have to pick out what's coming with us and what we can leave," he replied, looking thoughtful. "But you've only just seen the entrance. Let me at least show you around the rest of the house."

"You do realize we only have a few hours here today," Harry remarked snickering. "A tour of the entire Manor promises to take over a month."

"Just the important places then," Draco laughed, taking Harry's hand. He led him up the sweeping stair case and through corridor after corridor. There were adornments of all sorts in every hallway and through every door. The entire house was full to the brim with all kinds of treasures.

Draco took Harry around and showed him the library, which was large enough to give Hogwarts' library a run for its money. He showed him his parent's wing and the bathrooms and the guest rooms. He showed him the studies and living rooms. He showed him the ballroom and dining room and generally a whole bunch of places that Harry had never considered putting into a house.

There were secret places and hidden corridors and passageways. There were little secrets in every nook and cranny and sometimes in places you would never expect them to be. Draco would comment on some things. Occasionally, he would narrate the history of an item or tell an interesting story related to the décor or to the artwork. Most of the time he would simply make snide little remarks about what the rooms were meant for, and what they were _really_ used for.

"So where did you sleep?" Harry asked. Draco turned to him and smiled.

"I was just getting to that," he said. "I have my own wing, remember?"

He lead Harry through twisting passages and up another staircase and finally into a whole new house, or so it seemed.

Draco's wing was decorated much in the same manner as the rest of the house, but it was tainted with the typical living of a teenaged boy. There was a sitting room and a study. The study had its own little library (which was still larger than any average person's library) and a beautiful polished desk. There was artwork all around. There was a whole room assigned to Quidditch related things –posters, broomsticks, practice uniforms and such. Finally, Draco led Harry into his bedroom.

It was practically larger than the whole of the Dursley's house. The bed was against the right wall and was draped with black and silver hangings. The bedspread was adorned with the Malfoy family crest and the décor of the room seemed almost royal. There were books and papers strewn in certain corners, however, on tables and memorabilia from the Quidditch World Cup on the shelf. There were pictures and different posters that suited a teenager in some areas as well.

"This is my bedroom," Draco proclaimed, quite pointlessly. He looked around the room and felt a small pang of nostalgia. This room, he would miss. There was no question about that. He had gone through some of the most important moments of his life in this room. Most of his sadness and depression were lived through here. He had first kissed that boy in this room. He had discovered himself here, all alone. The memories were not fond memories, but they were important ones.

"I have an idea," Harry stated quietly. There was a mischievous smile on his features. "If you really don't want to live here, what say we give this place a proper goodbye party and let it go out with a bang?"

----IIIII-----

Harry could tell Draco was attached to his bedroom, if no other place in the house. He stepped up to the blond and ran an arm around his slight waist. He let his fingers play on the collar of Draco's shirt. Malfoy licked his lips and looked at Harry.

"What exactly did you have in mind?" he asked, leaning into the movements and nipping softly at Harry's ear.

Harry didn't answer. He simply pulled Draco's shirt up and brushed his lips against his soft chest. His tongue poked through his lips and lapped teasingly at Draco's nipple. Harry's hand trailed down the man's stomach and under the hem of his pants. He stroked Draco's growing erection for a moment or two to coax it up faster.

Draco clearly got the message and started pressing into Harry's hand, all the while pulling Potter's shirt over his head. He pulled Harry's face to his and pressed their mouths together hungrily. He quickly took control and a hand came to Harry's arm to encourage his ministrations in Draco's pants.

Neither of them wanted to break away from the kiss and so Draco carefully lead Harry backwards to the bed. Harry felt his knees bend, letting him sit down on the comfortable mattress. His fingers found their way to Draco's zipper and undid it pushing his pants down and out of the way. Draco stepped out of them and pushed Harry back onto the bed, kneeling over him, their lips still locked.

Harry brought his arms up around Draco's back, running his hands over every inch of skin he could reach. Draco was carefully unfastening Harry's belt and zipper to remove his pants. He pulled out of the kiss momentarily to pull the jeans down Harry's legs. He stopped over Harry's hardened pride and planted small, suckling kisses along the shaft.

Harry moaned softly, his fingers playing in Draco's long soft locks. Malfoy finished removing his pants and crawled back up to meet Harry's calling mouth. He inserted his tongue into Potter's, letting their tongues play and dance. Draco leaned lower and rubbed his hips into Harry's forcing their erections against one another with a blissful kind of friction.

"I've wanted you in my bed for so long," Draco whispered seductively to his lover, pulling away from the kiss and nibbling at his neck instead. "Wanted to kiss you everywhere and taste every part of you. Wanted to be inside you and fill you…just you."

"Ah, Draco," Harry moaned, the words meeting his ears and causing his arousal to increase. He bucked his hips into Draco's, the soft skin of their erections pressing together hard. "Yes…Draco, please…"

Draco smiled and slid one of his hands down Harry's torso. He pushed Potter's legs open and fingered the man's entrance, pressing at the tense ring with increasing fervor. He spread his tongue over Harry's neck and dragged his teeth over the supple skin, leaving little red marks in his wake.

"Do you want me inside you, Harry?" he asked, a little malevolently. "Do you want me to make love to you right here? Do you want me to make you scream my name so loud that it'll echo in the house for years?"

Harry shut his eyes and exhaled heavily into his lover's actions. He tried to push himself onto Draco's fingers; despite that he knew it would hurt if he did. Draco was holding him in place, leaving him unable to control what was going on.

"Ah yes, Draco," he moaned, his own hands pulling hard against Draco's back. His nails were digging into the skin on Draco's back, demanding the space between them be closed. "Yes, Draco, now!"

Harry opened his eyes as Draco pulled away from his neck. He was smirking darkly before he moved down Harry's body and ran his tongue up and down Harry's length several times. Potter gasped and his hands found their way to Draco's head, playing in his hair and encouraging him for more.

"I want you to yell out my name," Draco whispered pulling away. He leaned back to pick something out of the drawer in his bedside table. He came back with a small jar of massage oil.

"What do you have that for?" Harry asked, a little confused. Draco snickered.

"I discovered a lot about myself in this room," he answered cryptically. Without another word, He spilled some of the oil onto Harry's shaft. It was warm and smooth. Draco poured some more onto his own erection and then pressed his hips into Harry's again. One hand grabbed both of their lengths and he started pumping them together. He was gentle at first but sped up slowly, increasing the force as well.

"Ahh, Draco!" Harry cried out, his arms bracing out next to him to grasp onto the bedcover. He let out a symphony of erotic noises as Draco pumped them together. "More, Draco, more!!"

Malfoy smiled and let go. He pulled Harry's legs up instead, so that his legs were bent at the knee over Draco's forearms. His back arched and Draco pulled him up enough to position himself properly. Without any real preparation, Draco pressed the head of his erection into Harry. Potter gasped out at the sensation. He wanted more of Draco in him. He bucked his hips in an attempt to impale himself fully on Draco's length but Malfoy shook his head.

He leaned forwards over Harry, forcing Potter's knees up with him. Harry moaned as he felt himself open more. Draco licked Harry's lips and forced himself into Harry further. He penetrated him deeper than he ever had before and gyrated his hips slowly, aiming for that sweet spot.

"Cry out for more," Draco ordered, pumping at an agonizing rate.

"More, Draco, more!!" he moaned loudly. He couldn't bring his arms up to pull Draco closer. Malfoy pinned his wrists to the bed, holding his legs up at the same time. "Yes, Draco, ahh…. MORE!"

Malfoy was breathing more heavily now, matching Harry's rate and he pushed in and out faster. He bucked hard and deep into Harry to fill him completely. Harry screamed and cried out from the ecstasy. His eyes were clouding over and he felt fireworks explode somewhere inside him.

"Ah, Harry," Draco moaned, kissing Harry hungrily on the mouth. He couldn't hold it for long, however. He pulled away and licked his lips. His pace increased again and he felt himself get closer and closer to climax. "Call out for me…"

"Ah, Draco, yes," he cried. He was having more and more trouble speaking through the movements but Harry couldn't help himself. Draco pushed into him harder and faster, forcing him over the edge. "Draco!!!" he screamed, exploding over the both of them.

Draco pumped once more and spilled out inside of Harry. He could feel the warm liquid fill him from the inside and spill out of him. His eyes shut as Draco let his legs go and collapsed onto him. He rubbed Draco's back softly, allowing that elated and fully satisfied feeling to wash over him.

Draco crawled up slowly and kissed him softly before rolling off him partially. They were still pressed against one another and Harry loved the hot, sticky feeling of their bodies together. He held Draco for a long time, his eyes closed and so close to sleep.

When he opened his eyes, he found he couldn't do anything but stare at Draco's beautiful face. His eyelashes were lying softly against his cheeks as he rested. His lips were perfect and pink and his skin was smooth and soft. He smiled taking in every little detail of his lover's appearance, down to the way his blond hair tickled his nose, disheveled over his face.

Draco looked up at him finally and raised his brows.

"What is it?" he asked, his voice husky from their exertions. Harry smiled and kissed his forehead.

"I'm just looking forwards to waking up to you every morning from now on."

---End---

Author's Note: I'm rather sad to see this come to an end, but it had to eventually, I suppose. I hope you all enjoyed it! I did go with the ending shag because, really, they both needed it. Thank you so much to all my wonderful reviewers!! I will be writing another Harry/Draco fic, hopefully soon. It'll be called 'Memoirs of a Serpent's Son' and it'll go through the book series from Draco's point of view (with some added scenes ehehe), as told in his journal. I'm excited about writing it so I hope you'll all like it too!

Love to all Thanks again for all the support!!


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